Kissing, embraces and touching were rarely described, and may have been rare in life, as in letters. Frances Wilder, a young woman, wrote a searingly honest letter to Edward Carpenter for his advice on her sexual desire for women, describing a relationship for another woman that 'never went further than a handshake': 'I was 28 when I again fell in love with a girl about my own age. I made it my business to cultivate her, but soon found that tho' she was quite friendly and admirable, she cared less for me than I did for her. Often when alone with her, I had a strong desire to caress & fondle her; but I am naturally reserved & restrained and we never advanced further than the formal handshake. I had no sexual desire in connexion with her & I couldn't quite understand my feelings towards her . . . but my attachment for this girl was quite emotional. I loved to be with her, to hear her talk, even though I seldom agreed with her.'
"Normal Women: 900 Years of Making History" - Philippa Gregory
