#foexcerto

ivan isn't hooked on video games. actually, what he's really into is the bunny stage series. being the guy he is—masculine, a jock—no one would imagine he likes such a cutesy anime. but he does, and mizi was the one to blame; one day his curiosity won over so he asked her about the countless bunny plushies in her room, making her more than glad to introduce him to the series. looking back, ivan was ashamed to say he fell in love with tillbun at first sight.

the plot is irrelevant, what really matters is how it was the first time ivan had seen such a pathetic, pitiful, laughable character. tillbun's plans always failed, he had such an alluring voice and yet it never ceased to fail on him every time he tried serenading minny.

afterwards, ivan got a little bit obsessed. he made a point to get all his merch, turning it into his whole personality. or, well, at least in front of his closed ones. he felt safe to geek out with mizi, the only one who could understand his undying love for the anime.

then, one day, bunny stage made a collab with generic-money-grab-gacha3000-on-the-market. its characters were featured on the game, available for buying (rather, trying. it's a gacha, after all). ivan couldn't be less interested on the game. but... tillbun's skin was so, so cute and well-done. his special animation too. it wasn't half-assed at all. ivan was starving for any content, and unfortunately, he fell right into the trap. willingly. shame on him.

anyway, he creates an account and things aren't as easy as they seem. it's not like he was crazy enough to spend money on a gacha (he hadn't lost his mind yet, thank you very much) but he was still surprised by how much he'll probably have to grind just to earn enough currency to try his luck with the pulls. it's just like blind boxes, he thought, disgruntled. but even then, he usually just bought those second-hand from fellow fans who got tillbun...

wait.

what if he got someone to buy him weapons and materials so he could progress faster?

the idea lingered in his head, though ivan didn't know how he should go with it. eventually, he joined a guild, one that looked powerful. the players were all try-hards and they had won quite a couple of awards... clearly, they didn't play about this game. there was even a rule saying "inactive for 2 days = ban". really, ivan's joining was probably a mistake, given he was a newbie.

so, a bunch of losers with all the money in the world to spend? he couldn't let this perfect opportunity pass.

unfortunately, the guild leader, tilltheend, was onto him. damn him, he paid extra attention to his guild, so it didn't take long for him to notice a new member who.. really shouldn't be there. an intruder of sorts. the guy would follow ivan around on tasks, mic on. "hey. you're a newgen, aren't you?"

ivan didn't reply. he kept exploring the map, focused.

"i saw your account, you know. it says you joined last week. oh... unless you're a bot? pfft."

ivan ignored him, running towards the monster he needed to kill for his task. what an annoying guy, he thought.

"uh, hey—"

—turns out he messed with a boss! the monster attacked him relentlessly, no hit ivan gave it did any damage. he was down to 1HP, fallen, until tilltheend ran in front of him and killed the monster with one single blow! in a beautiful show, the map was illuminated by shards of light, proving the weapon's magic was colossal. tilltheend chuckled, turning to ivan, who was a breeze away from dying.

"careful, girlie. this is no ordinary guild, did you really think it's on your level? haha," he flexed, spamming emotes. "now, say your last words. i'm kicking you out this guild."

tiibannys is typing...

tiibannys is typing...

tiibannys is typing…

tiibannys: did you just steal my kill

"... excuse me?!"

the days followed, and till, he came to learn, had not left his side. he stuck around, rather offended by how bad ivan was. no matter the time ivan logged on, till would already be online and wasting not a second to stalk ivan around. right on his trail, he would furiously explain how the mechanics worked and make feeble threats about kicking ivan out if he didn't get good in time. before they noticed it, till turned into ivan's companion; he would find weaker monsters for him to kill and give him weapons, claiming ivan was just his trashcan for items he no longer used as they were too inferior for him.

ivan's plan was working without him even having to lift a finger because till naturally took a liking to him; deeming ivan, or rather, tiibannys as the defenseless type. it probably had to with the fact he had been using minny's skin, one he got from a free roll when he downloaded the game, making till naturally assume he was a girl. ivan went along with it.

“hey,” till approached the subject one day, when they were training. “i feel kinda lonely here. here i am, talking your ears off, while you get to slack off by just writing.”

ivan blew him a kiss.

tiibannys: yes + im a princess + i should not waste my voice by talking to peasants… ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)

“fuck off,” till hit him, walking away as ivan sent "owiee" on the chat. “i'm serious. don't tell me you're shy. clearly, you're anything but.”

ivan took longer to reply.

tiibannys: it's no good to assume things, tillyy ರ⁠_⁠ರ

“… oh,” he mumbled, taken aback by surprise. till slashed invisible opponents as the uncomfortable silence remained.

he quickly gave up on stalling and turned back to ivan.

“uh. are you? sorry…”

ivan kept the act for a second before bursting into laughter, disrupting the silence of his bedroom. till seemed so unsure. he never heard him sound this timid before. so he was capable of being mindful, hm?

tiibannys: dummy

he really wanted to send idiot.

tiibannys: i just rather hear your voice, thats alllll

tiibannys: (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

“yeah? you do?” his voice cracked, and ivan giggled to himself when he heard him cough to try and hide it. “wait, don't call me idiot. i know that's what you meant to say. actually, why do you like my voice??”

so flustered. pfft.

they weren't even trying to find monsters anymore, just walking around in circles.

tiibannys: well

tiibannys: you kiiinda sound like ♡(੭˃ᴗ˂)੭ tillbun (∩˃o˂∩)♡

tiibannys: 𐔌ᵕ՞◺ ̫◿՞˶𐦯 ↢ cutest dumbest bunny in the world !!

“tillbun?” he asked, confused. then, till stopped on his tracks, realizing something. “don't tell me you mean the—that stupid cartoon show for kids?!!”

ivan was the one who stopped this time.

he stared at the screen.

tiibannys is typing…

tiibannys is typing…

tiibannys is typing…

tiibannys is typing…

tiibannys is typing…

“w-wait—!”

tiibannys is off-line.

ivan didn't log back on for three days.

(and even then, he didn't get kicked out.)

⏔⏔⏔ ꒰ ᧔ෆ᧓ ꒱ ⏔⏔⏔

again, ivan is an active learner. he learnt how to talk to people by hiding behind trees, studying others' behaviors and putting the knowledge into use by starting conversations later! that's how he leaned how to smile too.

so he goes to the pharmacy, he buys lube, condoms, gloves? well, everything mentioned on the link. he trims his fingernails, he takes a bath, calls till and—he tells him to eat out because ivan's study group is going to their place.

ivan's grand idea is to train fingering himself to make sure till won't get hurt when he does it to him. it's brilliant, really. he'll be all suave and cool for till when the time comes, after three whole days of going at it, till will ask him how he's so good (he made him cum 27 times), to which ivan will puff his cigarette and say "heh. guess i've had some experience under my belt..."

it's zero. details. but anyway, moving on.

the first time he does it, it's quite painful. the second, it's clinical. the third, it's curious; he tests what is the thrill. he gets it on the fourth try, which quickly turns into his tenth.

at this point, there's no meaning for training, really.. ivan should've stopped the second he got the gist of it and called till to finally do it. so he does exactly that. ivan mans up and take till's clothes off while they're having a steamy makeout session. this is it, he thinks. it's time to prove all that effort wasn't for nothing.

till licks his lips, he unbuttons ivan's pants and—

GASP.

pause.

"uh..." till mumbles, unsure, while ivan stares with wide eyes, face pale. "i... could've swear you were hard just a second ago..." he frowns.

ivan has never been this horrified before in his life. he doesn't register till putting his clothes back on, the movie he's put on, the blankets on them. when till falls asleep, his movements are robotical as he walks to the bathroom. he takes his clothes off one by one, unnecessarily folding them to dispose on the laundry basket. he turns on the shower, and—

"haah, tiiiiiill...!" he whines wantonly, getting cum all over the wall and the floor as he fingers himself dry.

erectile dysfunction is off the table, then.

...

ivan goes to church the very next day.

"lord," he begins, hands clasped together, head tilted up. "forgive me... i've been a bad boy."

the leaves sway with the wind outside, making a wooshing sound. distantly, he thinks he hears sua's voice in his head. "you're meant to look down, high is not where you'll be going."

ivan goes home.

he collapses onto his bed, sobbing into till's clothes he grabbed from the laundry basket. "i'm broken..." he sniffs, only to cry harder because he got hard from smelling till's musk. lezhin tops are not this pathetic.

whatever! he thinks, in mania now. he's already ruined, so how about throwing caution into the wind and fucking himself one last time?!! he grabs the lube and goes at it, legs spread, tears falling, thrusting his fingers away until—

"... ivan?"

Fuck.

the petals drop from the stem, in pieces. the edelweiss was too imperfect to remain complete.

it's like a bucket of cold water has been thrown on till. (pack it up nothing to smile about in your life till get up wake up from this dream 👎

it would be such a shock for him. he never even imagined ivan liking someone else (they were a pair) let alone ivan not being by his side anymore. it's just something he never considered, like an answer to the easy question teachers include on exams just so you won't get a round zero.

he'd known ivan from ever since they were small. he just bothered him so much it'd be impossible to forget him. even when he'd be aging, and specially then. he imagined them sitting side by side on the porch, gently moving back and forth on their rocking chairs, ivan poking fun at till for having gray hair sooner than he did and till shooting back that ivan's pointed fang had finally fallen from his mouth after talking so much trash throughout his life. ivan would use his cane to poke till and blame their ten inches tall dog for it. till would complain they wasted money on the waterbed—my back pains remained the same, if not worse!

well.

they were meant to grow old together.

his world would be in shambles. ivan, who'd be dying, would fairing much better than him.

till would beg on his knees, completely desperate, for ivan to give up on whoever this person is. screw begging, actually, he'd be demanding it. they don't deserve ivan's life. they don't deserve his well being. they don't fucking deserve him at ALL. he's too important to lose. as a last resource, till would be gripping ivan's shirt, trying anything to make him change his mind—hanahaki was once such a magical concept for him, but now, he just wanted to kill each and every person involved on the romantic movies that had ever fascinated him. how dare them?

that would only make ivan madder. mm /rubs chin in contemplation an ivan who's so done with life that he's just hitting till over and over, in tears, because how the fuck can he say that. how come you didn't notice it was you? are you taking me for a fool? why do you care NOW???

he'd be so tired of taking so much pain in silence. it wouldn't be pretty at all. it'd be ugly, and till would have no other choice than to face it.

till would feel a tight squeeze on his chest—he'd argue with ivan under normal circumstances, he was already close to snapping "how did you expect me to notice?!" but he couldn't get his mouth to open when he looked at ivan. the words jumble up on his tongue, his throat closes in itself.

ivan, who had grown even taller than him as years passed; ivan, who had broad shoulders and a small pudgy belly because he couldn't get enough of eating; ivan, who styled his hair like a prince.

and the ivan in front of him, thin, skin pale, messy hair and looking so, so, so small.

ivan would be sooooo resentful. he'd show up, yes, but he'd tell mzsu that it's just to give till a piece of his mind (in the rare times they happen to find out, oops, otherwise he's not letting a peep). when he enters he'll be all meek and unsure if till really wanted him there, if he should just leave, but when till wastes no time in grabbing him, he melts into his arms like he did whenever till hugged him back when they were still dating.

after the thrill and lust were slowly satiated through the night (on god ivan gets pounded to oblivion), he would be restless. but it's not like they'd be sleeping anyways—till was notoriously a night owl, and he didn't want, for the life of him, for ivan to slip away from his embrace, so they're silently lying in bed until ivan starts his merciless and cruel rant, taunting till for resorting to his easy option to secure a lay for the night. he mocks him for being unable to date anyone, for ruining his own life by ever deciding to get with him. it was his plan to break his heart and he managed to do so.

till cried liked a baby the first few times it happened (that's how he passed out and ivan was able to leave). "so that's why it's better we're not together anymore", comes the relief, but it's short lived, because the moment he feels ivan moving a single muscle, he's back to feeling that bone-deep terror again.

the weeks pass, ivan's mockery starts to feel old. till makes sense of the spite in ivan's words, until he's able to solve the underlying message.

"why didn't you chase after me from the start?"

that's the million dollar question.

(what they didn't know, was that mizi had been his best friend, sua had been the first one to be there for him.

now, he burns every letter of theirs that's addressed to him.

he blocks their numbers and promises to forget.)

with sua gone, ivan had no choice but to take her place. he was no longer the neglected child, rising into fame, stealing the spotlights and rebranding from scratch. his broad shoulders now worked to compliment his small waist, his tall figure made him stand out. the cold, odd prince. how unobtainable he is.

it helped how ivan had never been one to show his emotions. he didn't even dare to think of them; under unsha's care, all he had time for was being the most marketable asset. the least he could do was make himself easier to digest and their investment worth it.

(imagine model ivan, pearl ivan)

now, enter till, the very definition of a moving alpha. even if he hadn't been under urak's care, the actor had connections, he had talent, he was charismatic in a way it couldn't be replicated by just anyone. his manager personally made sure to engineer a public image free of scandals and build him into an intense and hardworking artist, regarded as an established star.

now, this was a threat to unsha's control over the media. they were already having a hard time dealing with sua's disownment and how quick they had to act with ivan's making up for the lost place. things were rocky and controversial on their side, even admirers were calling it an offense to their traditional trademark.

their way of playing with politics and business was losing power to the "new money" influence till had. he bypasses old networks with the help of his manager, who throws him into social media, PR firms and celebrity culture. he was able to manipulate public opinion without the background of an esteemed lineage.

unsha, on his deathbed, only had one thing to demand of ivan. oh, ivan wasn't enough to ever be truly known, truly loved for himself—his grandfather made sure he acknowledged the weight of his own average self, though his rise and fall was proof enough. he was fundamentally insufficient, meaning he had to fill the gaps with something that's not himself.

ivan just had to marry till, the golden boy who had everything orchestrated by urak, unsha's nemesis in this game. ivan had to let him pass with honor, to make him proud for the first time in his life and not let their family name be forgotten.

ivan only nodded. the distant idea of his own agency never even crossed his mind.

on the very next day, newspapers and social medias were only talking about one thing.