Ā Ā Ā Dickās seated, gaze blank as he stares at ā nothing, actually. He hasnāt exactly been paying attention to anything for at least the past hour, sat slumped with his arms tuckedaround his torso. āI told you Iāll be fine.ā He says, tone stern. But the matter of fact is, he wonātbe. Not if he doesnāt talk about it. Canaryās therapy session? Helped. But of course it wasnāt going to repair everything. No, not after everything theyād went through. The scars werenāt shown on their bodies like with some other traumas. They couldnāt wrap it up and forget about it a few weeks later.
Ā Ā Ā Heās quiet. So what was he supposed to do, then? The only people to turn to had to be those whoād experienced it with him. Who better to confide in then his best friend, whoād ādiedā by his side? His tense demeanor slowly fades, Dickās expression softening out as he exhales. ā ⦠No, you know what? Okay. Iāll talk.ā
Ā Ā Ā āYou first, though.ā
Ā Ā Ā Wally snorted, turning his face to look up at the ceiling. He shouldāve been comfortable, laying on his back, but he was tense and agitated and it made him an ass. More of an ass than usual.Ā āI think thatās bullshit, and you should know that wonāt work on me.ā But maybe he didnāt. Wally hasnāt been the same, as hard as he tried to pretend otherwise. He was out of it, maybe Dick didnāt think heād notice? How awful.
Ā Ā Ā Ā Wallyās brows raised in surprise. He expected more of a fight, but Dick... agreed to talk. Well, Wally was the only one to resist talking so much, he shouldnāt be surprised. He grimaced at the condition set, forcing himself not to make a flippant remark or flat out run.Ā āAre you kidding me?ā He sighed, closing his eyes.
Ā Ā Ā Maybe he should talk. He couldnāt keep going like this, he couldnāt focus or sleep. He didnāt want to eat. He didnāt want to do anything. He couldnāt hide it anymore, so something had to change. As much as he loathed the thought of spilling what bothered him... this was his best friend. If he couldnāt talk to him...?
Ā Ā Ā Ā āFine. Iāll talk.ā He folded his hands over his stomach, eyes firmly shut.Ā āI know I should be bothered that we died. A-and I am, but. Itās not the worst way to go. Iām not upset with it. I mean, Iām upset you died too, I wish itād just been me. I was upset over Artyās death. We all were, but. I donāt know. I didnāt think any of us could really die. I mean- I did, I did, in that fucking pool, never gonna be over that, but.ā He groaned.Ā āThis is a mess- this is why I donāt talk about my feelings, but whatever.ā
Ā Ā Ā He sat up, chest heaving once, twice, then he steadied it.Ā āKaldur pushed me out of the way.ā His brow furrowed.Ā āThen he died. I saw it. It shouldāve been me. He wouldāve died later, but... I-I donāt understand. Heās our leader, sure, but he didnāt have to do that. Why did he do that?ā He pushed his face into his hands.Ā āBarry and Iris died too. I know I knew it was a simulation when they did, but it still hurts. Everything hurts. Iām so tired, I just want everything to stop. I want us all to be okay, I want to help, but I canāt think straight and I think dying wouldāve been better than this.ā
Ā Ā Ā He swallowed.Ā āI donāt know what else I want to say. Your turn.ā