#flwl

First of all let me just ask, HOW in the hell can you use SO MANY WORDS but literally say nothing at all??

its so wordy. Do you know how stupid I feel by describing a book as WORDY? It just makes no sense at all

To the people who described this book as "slow burn", heres the door.🚪now please run through it

Sweetie, it was all slow, no burn. Please go to therapy

I am so incredibly disappointed by this book because the plot could be so good but the writing is just so trash. Literal TRASH.

I cant even contain my anger when I powered through this book only to reach THE KISS and be left with something so pointless as Chapter 20. Oh, and let me save you the trouble of going through the book and looking for it. Here it is:

ARE👏YOU👏FUCKING👏KIDDING👏ME👏

THATS IT. A WHOLE CHAPTER. IN LESS THAN 100 WORDS. HOW FUCKING COMPELLING. HOW RIVETING. HOW EMOTIONAL. ITS NOT LIKE THEY REACHED A BIG FUCKING STAGE TO THEIR RELATION SHIP JUST A PAGE BEFORE THIS. NO BIG DEAL. GO ON WITH YOUR DAY.

Don't get me started on the amount of times "blinked" was used. Its like their own form of communication. Fuck dialogue. Fuck trying to explain what emotions Jasmine was feeling or what she thought Ivan was feeling. NO. They blinked. 👁👄👁 <- that is all I can fucking visualize every time it gets mentioned in the story. "I blinked." "He blinked back." FUCK YOU.

Knock, knock! Are you still there? Why are you still here reading this? Aren't you already as pissed off as I am about this book? Not yet? Okay, lets continue.

The problem with this books is is that its great that the female protagonist is a "strong independent woman that will refuse to quit or back down from everyone that says she cant do anything!". But is it? I feel like the author thought "I am going to win over everyone's hearts by writing the most hard-ass female character ever to star in a book!" smh

As for Ivan Vanya Lukov. THE BAR IS ON THE FLOOR. Like, him being an actual human being gets fawned over so much I was about to revert to wearing skirts that reached the floor and hiding my face behind a fan when I laughed. 😐

Have you watched that Netflix show about twins? One was a figure skater and one was a high profile junior league hockey player? I dont remember the title and I dont care for it enough to search it right now. But I watched it, and THAT had more emotional impact than the 538 pages of this sorry excuse of a book.

Honestly, both characters are so emotionally immature for their age which makes me even more angry 😂

To anyone who is a competitive figure skater, I am so sorry that this book has made such a disservice to you and your sport.

I swear if I had the physical copy, I would stab a knife through it and just leave it there on a coffee table. I'd fucking display that shit in a museum and call it installation art.

Heres the book summary:

From Lukov with Barf 💐

by M. Zapata

We're not going to talk about her emotional detachment to her parents. We're not going to touch on the subject of her struggle to bond with her siblings because of her past. We are definitely not going to talk about how Ivan never explained why he only needed a partner for a year, or how he's such a psychopath for threatening Paul.

Figure skating wonder Boy needs partner! (But only for a year. No ifs or buts) Finds said partner in deadbeat headstrong girl who he's known since childhood! But wait!!! They hate each other. (Yeah, Ooh such a plot twist!) Boy and Girl train together so Boy can still remain the greatest skater in the world!! "With my money and good looks I can make trash into flowers!" But OH NO! Girl has tons of self-doubt and a few family issues that are very much blown out of proportion in the writing! (Which will never get resolved by the way) AND to top it all off, she breaks her ankle! With a competition just weeks away, she breaks her ankle!

Boy thinks its his fault, Girl says no its not. Girl keeps apologizing because she blames herself. They kiss. Because by god, we've never seen the male lead kiss their counterpart so they can stop talking! Now that thats happened, the author decided to just say: 'Fuck it! This book is done! No more work need to be done here! They kissed and thats all that matters!'

Are you fucking kidding me? How is that acceptable behavior? How is this girl not running for the hills for the way he ruined her relationship with Paul? This whole partnership was based on a lie so he can get the girl.

Oh. You're looking for spice? Don't worry. After they get second place at some competition they go back to their hotel room and feel each other up like pubescent teens and then fuck.

✨And they lived happily ever after. The End.✨