#fluffy stydia

“Look, there’s no easy way to say it. I’ve been in denial for so long that I just can’t -” Stiles cuts her off by turning up the radio. He sends her a wide grin as one of Lydia’s favorite songs plays louder through the speakers. How Stiles knows that this song is a favorite of hers, she has no idea but in this moment with him next to her in the driver’s seat, it doesn’t matter how he obtained the information. All that matters is this moment.

“I’ve got one word for you, Lydia: Sing-along.” Lydia smiles wide and starts swaying to the soothing guitar tunes and the melodic voice.

On a crowded highway

Through a night alone

I was barely breathing

Lydia discovers one of Stiles’ hidden talents – he’s actually got a decent voice and she smiles to herself as he sings along to the next couple of lines on his own. The headlights of a passing car illuminates every inch of his gentle features.

 Going back to Nashville

Thinking ‘bout the whole thing

Guess you gotta run sometimes

Maybe I’m a fast train

Blowin’ through a valley

Watching all my life go by

Lydia takes all of his features in. The way his dark brown hair points in every direction, his prominent cheekbones and how they gracefully transfer into a slimmer chin, the moles covering his cheek like a constellation in the night sky, his slim and perfectly formed lips and how soft they look, his long eyelashes and how those amber eyes made her feel safe even when she already did. Most of all, she takes in his crooked smile as he quietly sings along.

 You’re a distant memory

She thinks back on the first time she remembers noticing him, way before the supernatural element changed their lives and made them intertwine. They were thirteen. She scanned the cafeteria and her eyes fell upon two boys engaged in deep conversation, one had somewhat curly black hair and an uneven jawline – the other a buzzcut and mole-covered cheeks. Lydia remembers Stiles because he looked up and met her eyes, she sent him a small smile and tried to focus her attention on the mindless conversation that her friends were engaging in. From the corner of her eye she noticed the boy with the buzzcut nudging his friend in the ribs and started to gesture wildly towards her – the other boy rolled his eyes and pretended to be listening.

And I know I hurt you

But I can’t confess

Lydia remembers the look on Stiles’ face when he found out she was still hooking up with Aiden. The hurt he tried to hide as he avoided meeting her eyes. He thought the kiss they shared in the locker room when she stopped his panic attack meant something, he thought the emotional tether meant something. And it did – that’s why she kept seeing Aiden because despite her not wanting to be with the bad guy, she didn’t want to be with the guy who could have someone who wasn’t going to scream when people were about to die. That’s not what she wants for him. She wants him to be with someone who’s normal, who can make him so happy that he won’t think as much about all the bad stuff that happened to him and his loved ones, someone who didn’t ignore him for half his life.

Laughing at a bad break

That’s how Stiles spent the night in her room after he and Malia got in the fight that ended their relationship. She knows he used it as a defense mechanism because he was experiencing his first breakup and Lydia wanted to comfort him but it was hard when he was making jokes and a small part of her was doing a victory dance – then she feels horrible about herself because she and Malia are friends. Eventually they fell asleep and woke up facing each other.

Going back to Nashville

Laughing at a bad break

What’s the use of wondering why

Maybe I’m a storm front

Blowing through a valley

Tearing up a good July

They are singing along at the top of their lungs even as the song slows down and then they are laughing because this is not what either of them was expecting from going on a late night drive. Stiles is happy that he could cheer Lydia up from whatever it is she wanted to talk about. Lydia realizes that this is it, this is her chance to tell him everything she’s been holding back, everything she’s tried to suppress for so long that she’s on the verge of exploding.

“Pull over,” she says. Stiles gives her a confused look as the music keeps playing through the half-broken speakers cracking at high notes.

“Just do it.” He pulls over to the side of the road at the edge of the forest. Stiles shuts off the engine and twists his body in the seat so he can face her and Lydia does the same.

Going back to Nashville

What’s the use of wondering why

“I love you.” She says the words fast and spontaneously. The entire speech she had planned leading up to saying the words went through the window, her heart is beating fast and she’s not sure if this moment is real or if she’s dreaming. Stiles just stares – he doesn’t speak, doesn’t move, she’s not sure he’s even breathing but she can’t take the silence so she leaves the jeep and starts walking down the street back towards the city. She tries to blink away the tears as she braces herself for what she knows is coming, what always happens when she voices her emotions: Goodbye. She can’t blink the tears away.

“Lydia, wait!” The door to the jeep slams shut and she hears his footsteps coming closer.

“Forget I said anything,” she calls back to him. He catches up and stops in front her preventing her from going on.

“I can’t,” he says trying to catch his breath from running. “You really expect me to forget the three words I’ve always wanted to hear from the girl I’ve been in love with since the third freaking grade.”

“Kind of…?” Lydia shrugs her shoulders and look up at Stiles who has a tender smile playing at the corners of his lips. He places a cold palm on her cheek and wipes away the salty tears with his thumb