#fluff fix

The first time you met the boy was when he was seven. He had been brought in by his grandfather to visit Cassie. As expected, she didn't have enough downtime to sit and chat with him for more than a couple of minutes, so she had asked him to stay put in the break room while he waited for her to come back. But being seven, and curious to learn more about his mother's world, he tiptoed his way out of the room and roamed around carefully around the floor until he bumped into you.

You were sitting beside a young boy, one much younger than him, explaining how a heart monitor works by mimicking what it would look like with a stuffed bear. Having worn one a couple of years prior due to a cardiac scare, Harrison sympathized with the little boy beside you as he continued to look down at the wires hanging from the teddy bear's chest with unease. So, without much thought, he came out from behind the curtain he was peeking through and interrupted you by tapping your shoulder.

"They're not as scary as they look!" He had said, startling you as he caught the other boys' attention. "When they put one on me, it felt a little strange, but you just carry the little box in your pocket and Voila! The next day, they take it off, and you're okay again!"

You were confused, to say the least. Where had this kid even come from, and where were his parents?

You turn to look around, trying to find anyone who looked like they were looking for him, but to no avail found nothing. Turning back to look back at the two boys, however, you began to notice a shift in your patient's face. The uncertainty had shifted to wonder as Harrison reassured the little boy that he wouldn't feel anything, so you ultimately decided to simply work with this.

You would find this boy's parents as soon as the nurse came back.

"See, Alex? There's nothing to worry about, lovey. This is simply a one-day thing that is just going to make sure your heart is beating at the pace it should be. How about you help me demonstrate...?"

"Harrison."

"How about you help me demonstrate, Harrison?"

-

To say Cassie was stressed was an understatement.

While the ER, in theory, was one of the safest places he could get lost in, Cassie trusted no one with her son. And, if word got out that she had left him alone and let him get lost under her care, she would lose total custody of his son. Shit was already rough as it was; she didn’t need her ex-husband's lawyer to have even more leverage to use against her than she already had.

"Harrison where the hell are you..." She mumbled under her breath, checking every room and crevice where her son could be in.

He couldn't have wandered off too far, she had left him 10 minutes... 15 perhaps? It couldn't have been too long.

Consumed in her thoughts of everything that could go wrong, she almost walks past the bed you three were in, but at hearing the familiar lilt of her son’s laughter, she’s pulled back into reality.

You were already done with your demonstration when Cassie walked into the examination bay bed you were stationed in. Instead, you were a part of the hearty laughter that laced in with Harrison’s.

Alex’s mother had yet to come back, and the nurses appeared to not come check up on you seeing as you were already there to make sure things stayed in control. So, as you weren’t necessarily needed elsewhere, you simply sat there entertaining the two children with whatever you had at hand. That being the aforementioned teddy bear and a small bubble wand you kept tucked into your pocket just in case.

Halfway through blowing another few more bubbles, you’re startled yet again by the sudden cry of Cassie running to pull her son into her arms.

Can’t a girl catch a break? You thought, but quickly shook the thought away as you watched Cassie, in all her relief, scold him worriedly in a volume you could barely hear.

“Harrison this is not some place you can just run around and treat as a playground,” she started. “Ms [ ] is at work. You can’t barge in just like that, you know how much trouble you could get us both I-“

“Dr McKay, it’s alright,” you say putting your hand on the older woman’s shoulder, momentarily stunning her as she tenses. “Harrison actually helped me out. Alex here has to wear a heart monitor for a day, Harrison has experience with one so he helped me show him that it’s not as scary as it looks.”

“I’m sorry what?” Cassie asks, brows knitted as she lets go of Harrison and turn to face you. Your hand was still on her shoulder, touch warm, grounding even. She made no effort to brush you off, and you didn’t retract your hand until you realized you left it there a little longer than intended.

“Want to step out for a second?”

Cassie only nods, and watches as your hand retracts back to your side as she follows behind you.

Before you can say anything, she apologizes, embarrassment etching into her gaze along with the mixture of earlier emotions. “He doesn’t run away like that often, I promise. I.. I had patients to attend too. I didn’t think my father would leave him here alone, much less that Harrison would run off like that. I’m sorry if he caused you any trouble. It won’t happen again.”

At her ramble, you shake your head and yet again put your hands on her shoulders. “No one is saying it’s your fault, love,” the pet name leaves your lips instinctually. There wasn’t a double meaning to it and Cassie knew it, and yet, seeing the reassuring look in your gaze followed with the soothing tone of your voice, she couldn’t help the flutter in her chest.

“As I said, he actually served as an assistant of sorts for a moment. He’s sweet, really did wonders in the way he helped Alex calm down. You’re raising a great kid, doctor. So please don’t beat yourself up, this could happen to anyone,” you add, giving the older woman a small squeeze before letting go with a gentle smile.

Cassie shakes her head. “I’m glad you think so, truly, but.. fuck, I’m just out of it. I didn’t see him anywhere so I panicked. Thought about all the shit that could have happened had he hadn’t found you. Thank you for taking care of him. Really. I know it’s not much but, if there’s anything I can do to pay you back just let me know.”

You chuckle, not in judgement, but in amusement. You didn’t work with this woman often, probably haven’t converesed with her more than once or twice, but you’ve watched her from afar and always saw a woman that kept her composure despite what the Pitt threw at her.

This was different, endearing almost.

“You don’t need to repay me, mckay-“

“Cassie. Call me Cassie,” she interrupts, and you only seem to smile a bit more.

“You don’t have to repay me, Cassie. It’s my job to look after any child that comes my way, so don’t sweat it, okay?”

You had emphasized her name that time. It takes everything in her to not fall to her knees then and there, but she schools her expression into a more composed one with a slow exhale and nods.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

You were about to turn back to leave, but she catches your wrist, firm despite the gentle tremble. “Hey.. I know this is out of character from me, and you have every right to turn me down but.. would you want to grab a drink sometime? On me of course.”

You fluster, cut off guard for a moment. There wasn’t anyone paying attention to you two, so you allow yourself to meet her hopeful gaze. She’d be hurt if you turned her down, but she wouldn’t take it personal if you said no. You didn’t know her, so it would make sense if you said no, but that didn’t stop her from hoping.

“I’d like that.”

“You would?” Cassie’s voice comes out more relieved than intended, but it elicits a small giggle from you so she lets it slide this once.

“I would. I’ll find you before I leave, okay? We can schedule it a day we’re both off.”

“That sounds perfect. I’ll… I’ll take Harrison off your hands now. Thank you so much again. I’ll see you in a bit?”

You nod, and she smiles. Her hand unclasps yours, and she gestures her son to come with her. She’s still scolding him as they walk away, aware of your gaze on her back, but at least something good came out of this.

She finally got to ask you out, no longer having to settle for admiring from afar.

“Mommmm, quit cheesing!”

“I don’t want to hear it mister, you’re still in big trouble.”

He knows he smells of cigar smoke when your nose scrunches up in disgust as leans over the table. He sees you take a breath through your mouth, your lips pursing. His eyes narrow, and he uses one hand to massage his temples.

Right. He usually tries not to smoke in front of you, you can always smell it though. He had nearly forgotten that fact until now. At the end of the day, he's already exhausted. Langley. Interns. Spilled his coffee on the way to work. He hasn't eaten since lunch and it's killing him.

"What problem are you on?" He ask, trying to keep his voice down despite the fact he can clearly see you haven't made it past the third word problem and the first answer is wrong. He knows you're smart, he can feel his hand grip the wooden table. Nearly, giving himself a splinter in the process.

You were being lazy. The thought irks him, what was your purpose exactly? Did you just want his attention? His thoughts nearly spin out of control until you respond, "I'm on the third one," He can't help but notice how tired you sound.

"When is it due?" He snarks, not wanting to put up with this just this moment.

"Tomorrow morning..."

"You're older brother can't help you?" He sighs heavily, his irritation only growing. Did you put this off? How long have you had this stupid assignment for?

"Phillips is already asleep," You reply, starting to fold in the edges of your homework. The papers are folding in on itself and so are you.

"Great..." He scoffs, standing up. His pace is firm as he crosses the kitchen and throws the fridge open. It sways slightly at his action before settling once more.

He wraps his hand around the first beer he sees, before tugging it out and popping the can tab. It's dry but the condensation soon wets his hands and his lips. The fizzy liquid goes down his throat cold and for a brief moment under the dim kitchen lighting he forgets everything he was mad about.

"Son of a'bitch..." He grumbles, wiping the back of his hand over his lips. "Have you had dinner?" He ask, realizing he hasn't even had dinner himself.

You shake your head and he can swear he feels a headache forming. How long have you been sitting there? Why haven't you eaten? Had his eldest son ate dinner? Where was your mother? He thought the damn woman was responsible for you but clearly something had slipped through the cracks. At his annoyance, you fill in the blanks, "Mom made me some but I was working on my homework at that time and I forgot to eat it,"

Russell takes another long sip, as if the longer he indulged the easier it would be to make you fizzle away like the bubbles in his beer. His imagination was only so strong, your form is fuzzily on the edges of his vision. Just out of focus.

He crosses the kitchen again, kicking a chair into place. The movement is swift as he sits down besides you and looks over the problem, deciding to ignore the first one. "Sweetpea," He speaks up after reviewing the worksheet.

"Yes?" You know that tone too well, your father never calls you nicknames unless he's mad at you. And he's trying so hard to not appear like he is.

"This worksheet is five problems, what could possibly be the delay?"

"Each problem has three parts," You explain, and he's flabbergasted.

"And? The first one is wrong! You're a smart girl, honey."

"It's a new unit,"

He catches himself rolling his eyes again and he grabs your eraser off the table and harshly scratched off the incorrect problem. His voice is raised compared to before, "First off, stop fidgeting. Second off, this sheet is a mess go grab another piece of paper."

—

He's not sure what happens. After explaining the third problem he finds his voice raised. Adler is pacing the room, and why are you crying? He wasn't being that harsh! We're you always this sensitive. You run up to your room with the flimsy homework about nearly finished.

His wife isn't happy, especially since she was woken up to his yelling. She goes on and on about being nicer, how you're just a kid. That he smells like shit and looks like it too. Sometimes he wasn't sure why he even married at her. But after she's done yelling he sees it- she only wants the best for you. Not just for you but for himself.

Your mother isn't just yelling because she's angry, she's concerned. Either way, he reluctantly goes to your room to apologize. He nearly refuses, but he knows he's wrong. He should have just put it to bed when he came home.

He messed up, and he can hardly swallow it when he hears crying on the other side of the door. He knocks anyways and the crying quiets near immediately. He swears he can feel his stomach flip. "Kid?" He starts, pushing the door open despite the lack of response. "I know you're not asleep, c'mon." His hand rest on your shin. You're hiding underneath the covers and the bed dips under his weight.

He can hear both of your breathing as things go quiet. The room is hot and sound of the fan fills up the room. One of the stuffies he got you as a child is poking out underneath the covers, the thought of you seeking comfort in something he got you; despite what he did. He isn't sure how to feel about it.

His voice is gruff when he speaks again, "I'm sorry." The words sound awkward coming from him. You're all of sudden forced to reckon with the fact that you're not sure another time you've heard that from him before.

Your chest tightens, and you shove the blankets off of you so you can look at him. For some reason, he seems genuinely apologetic and you can't help but wonder if that's because of what your mother said to him. "You're only apologizing because mom told you too,"

He can feel his face twitch, no wonder you think that. His eyes stare holes into you for a moment. "Your mother's a lovely woman kiddo, but she doesn't make my decisions for me. I'm apologizing because it was wrong. It wasn't okay for me to raise my voice like that. Now or ever. So no, I'm not apologizing just because your mom told me too," He sighs heavily, and he can't help but wonder if he's doing this right.

His words make you uncomfortable, you're not sure what to say but at the very least you nod to show your listening, "then why'd you do it?"

"I had a long day," He'd quiet for a moment, the silence only punctuated with the feeling of his hand squeezing your knee and a gentle pat.

"That isn't a good reason, dad." You spit out so fast he's impressed. He can't help but smile.

"That's my girl," He waits for you to smile before he pulls you into a hug. He can feel your chest heaving as you attempt to hold back tears and he pretends not to notice. His hand runs up and down your back, you can't help but notice how large his hands are.

His finger tips are rough but he's taking a noticeable effort to be gentle. Comforting. He kisses the top of your head, and he smells your hair for a moment. You were his. His baby. His little girl. He didn't ever want to come a day where she resented him.

"You're thinking too much again," you point out and he stiffens, he's not used to people being able to read him so easily.

"How did you know that?" He's shocked, and you have the nerve to look pleased with yourself.

"You get a certain look in your eyes," You reply and your chest fills. He's the one who pulled away to look at you. Your arms are shaking as you hug him again.

What if he thinks you're weird? For wanting such comfort? You were older now, even if he thought it was weird he wouldn't tell you. Despite your worries, your father's arms envelope you steadily. It's already late and you can feel your father's heartbeat through his shirt. All of a sudden, his cigarette smoke is less noxious and a comforting reminder of himself.

You go to comment on it but you don't realize how tired you are until you attempt to speak. "Go to sleep kiddo," He sighs, his chest rising as he leans you onto your bed. Your eyes follow him as he stands by your bedside, the mattress rising with the loss of his weight. The sense of loss feels prominent as his form takes up your doorway.