New York Botanical Garden Annual Orchid Show

P1 | P2

It ended with a hug. 

For better or worse, Jazz always knew that she would leave her family at one point. One day she will grow up to be an adult who will apply for college and finally leave her hometown away from the craziness that was her parents. Of course, she planned to call Danny more often than her parents, come back to help him with his college journey, and have an open door for him to visit her once she gained a job and an apartment. 

She just never expected him to leave her first. 

As the eldest sibling, there was always the instinctual need to protect her brother. Yes, she would get mad at him, yell at him, or even tease him but she would always drop everything if he is ever in danger. Her responsibility as an elder sibling was more than just blood to her, more than what her parents were to her.

She loves her parents, she truly does, but they weren’t good parents. Yes, they gave her food and clothing, encouraged her hobbies, and paid attention to her academic scores but they weren’t there. They didn’t tell her stories of the tooth fairy but instead of ghost essays and grave markers. They didn’t wait to hear about her new obsession with unicorns before explaining how they would dissect one. She didn’t even get to show off her grades in peace before they praised her intelligence in Science, not remembering how she told them how much she struggled in English class. 

She understood her parent's priorities were never about her but what would become of her. Not Jasmin the girl who made a mommy and daddy friendship bracelet but Jasmin the women who will carry their legacy. 

She didn’t want that for her brother, so she raised him to be someone free. She finger-painted with him on the sidewalk, taught him how to pillow fight, and played astronauts and aliens with him. She made a cardboard rocketship for him for Halloween, woke him up with a happy birthday song first thing in the morning, and caught fireflies with him. She paid attention to every little achievement and hugged him as much as she could. 

Danny was her baby brother, sibling, and her baby boy. He was everything to her, and even as a high schooler stressed with earning money on the side with her college career coming up she still will drop everything for him. 

And the day she found out that he was protecting her instead of the other way around broke something inside of her. 

She failed, in some twisted form of negligence and teenager carelessness she had lost her brother in more ways than one. 

And now she is losing him again, this time, she doesn’t know when she might see him again. 

God she didn’t want to cry, not now. She just needs to hold it in. Just for another minute and then she could cry once he was out of sight. 

Just give her one more minute. 

Only a minute and then she can let go. 

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It was windy today, a nice breeze on a warm spring day. The echo of windchimes drifted about, and the sound of background chatter, and the rustling of trees greeted her again on this calm Sunday. 

Jazz took a moment to sigh, a heavy thing as the smell of musk and willow wood drew her back to memories she always conflicted with. 

Home, she was home again. The same day, same time as always. 

And as always she carried two baskets with her as she walked down the streets, waiting for the same occurrences that always happened ever since Danny left. 

It didn’t take long before a teenager spotted her with their friends. They waved at her with a smile and Jazz returned it with one of her own. Like clockwork, she greeted them, handing them each a blue petunia before heading off once more.

(Blue petunias, the sign of trust and serenity. A sign of hope that has yet to be lost.)

(Just like him.) 

Taking a cue from this, more people approached her as she handed them all a single petunia each. Adults politely thanked her, children were giddy as they showed their friends their gifts, and teenagers teased each other by tickling each other with soft petals. Whenever someone approached her she always handed them a petunia from the basket on her left. 

The basket on her right was never touched, yet it was noticeable when the flowers started disappearing slowly over time. Jazz didn’t panic, instead, she only smiled and gave well wishes to those who chose not to be seen. 

A long walk later, she finally arrived at her original destination with a hint of relief. As much as she was glad to give out her flowers, it was also exhausting to socialize with so many people. 

As she entered, she noticed how the sound of her footsteps should have been the only sound in the graveyard, but there were also sounds of whispers in the wind, a hum vibrating all around, and the distant prayers of visiting residences. 

To think that this part of town was once empty and eroding into nothing, now transformed into a clean and cherished part of Amity’s history. 

A hum of content passed through her lips as she walked with a purpose. It only took her a moment before she saw the grave she came to visit in the first place. Another moment was used to place the rest of the blue petunias on the grave before the Jazz sat down besides the grave. 

“Hey, Danny,” Jazz greeted. “I’m back! Missed me?”

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Blue eyes snapped open with a bubble of joy radiating from the boy turned man. Making himself comfortable on the plush chair he sat on the man smiled into the empty air. 

“Hey, Jazz. You know I always miss you.”

P1 | P2

Nancy Balmert

"Velvet Rose"

Oil on Canvas