#flowerchildfromspace

A big empty bed in a big empty room had never seemed so daunting before. He’d traveled deep space, looked death in the eye, and witnessed things quite literally out of this world. But back then he hardly considered it intimidating. Now, one thing in his life was gone and he’d never felt so small. They’d made this decision together some six months ago. With the children still in school, there was no way they could both uproot and drag the whole family on another grand mission into space. One of them was going to have to stay, and the other was going to have to go. Given their ranks it was an obvious choice. Admiral Kirk would attend to his crew and Chekov would attend to the family temporarily left behind. The decision was made and that was that. It was a relief to know the leave was nowhere near as long as a five year expedition, but after so much time spending every day beside one man, one month seemed unbearable.

He’d been fine all day. He had to be fine. He couldn’t afford not to be fine when two children were staring up at him like he was all they had left. A fear sat in the pit of his stomach that taunted him with the idea that they might have been right. Goodbyes sucked. People could talk between two screens as much as they wanted to, but there was something about that physical contact that simply could not be replaced. Coming to terms with it himself was hard enough, but how was supposed to explain that to a child? How was he supposed to comfort them when they wanted their father, not their Papka? Pavel Chekov was a prodigal son grown into a genius of a man, but there were some things not even he could comprehend.

 Pasha knew in his heart that Kirk would be fine. He was always fine. Nothing was going to kill him during a one month mission that hadn't in five years time. But honestly, knowing that didn't help too much. He was gone, with all their friends, his family, and he was alone for the first time in his life with two kids to take care of. Yes, he loved those children with every fiber of his existence. But he needed his husband, and he was afraid.