#flowatry

I see u across the room n I'm suffocatin, got a smile on my face, but who the fuck I'm kidding?  Still wishin u were missin the lady u once loved.. guess I'm flying solo, caz I guess u had enough. Never been the type to bluff, shattered heart on my sleeve.  I see it in your eyes, I dont matter much, I see... Mind over matter was the day my heart shattered, but now it's bloody spattered all over the pavement makes me wonder.. what is it exactly that makes me breathe daily?  I act like it dont phase me, but inside im goin crazy.  Dazed n confused, amazed n' amused, that I'm standing exactly 12 feet away from you.  Never thought I'd ever see u ever again... the mere sight of you, this corpse of a heart ressurected again.. but.. Do I want to live?  To live just to hurt?  Knowin I wasn't worth more than the dirt u wipe off your cold shoulders.  I'm as strong as a soldier.. but as weak as an infant... written all over my face, God knows what I'm thinkin.  Any little thing will push me off the edge.. like those words u just spit, but not meanin what u said.. hollow empty words u feel obliged to.. aint surprised tho, been that way when I used to be beside you. Knowin what's inside you, why am i so shocked?  Ice cold rock in ur chest where ur heart should be.  Still trippen how u once got lost in the fire inside me.  N now u walked out the room... my eyes fixated on you... u said peace n take care, but both u n' me know common courtesy was the reason behind those words.  Heart murdered again, wonderin if I'm really here?  Tell me.. am I still standing?  How can I believe I am still breathing..? How am I living..?  How?  How am I living with a smile on my face... n' that is exactly why I am mislee(ding).  Heartbreak is such an understatement, this is 3rd degree murder. Contemplatin if I shud, But I dont do it for my mother, but I daydream about it on the constant... shit it makes me wonder. Lickin these wounds, but they keep on ressurectin cuz the same exact blade comes to stab these healing scabs.  I'm bleeding endlessly, but I never reach the light.. immortal being, nocturnal feign, creature of the night.  Heartless bitch that u are, insensitive bastard.. your manners are backward, like no one else matters.  Have you no soul???  Breaking this spirit already fractured~  Shattered the only thing left... this small whisper of hope I held close to my heart, you ripped apart into shreds... I'm already halfway dead, then turned into a corpse after those things that u said.. penetrating explosively thru my soul by your shallowness like hollow point bullets. Laid out on the pavement gasping for air... I cried out to the you I wish u were... then realized I was crying to the none that was there... - Mislee