#floatingwithobrien

(Percy) "While I was there, I saw so many demigods living without fear: kids going to college, couples getting married and raising families. There's nothing like that at Camp Half-Blood. I kept thinking about you and me... and maybe someday when this war with the giants is over..."

It was hard to tell in the golden light, but he thought Annabeth was blushing. "Oh," she said.

Percy was afraid he'd said too much. Maybe he'd scared her with his big dreams of the future. She was usually the one with the plans. Percy cursed himself silently.

As long as he'd known Annabeth, he still felt like he understood so little about her. Even after they'd been dating several months, their relationship had always felt new and delicate, like a glass sculpture. He was terrified of doing something wrong and breaking it.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I just... I had to think of that to keep going. To give me hope. Forget I mentioned —”

"No!" she said. "No, Percy. Gods, that's so sweet."

I've never heard Percy's narration quite like this. He's been antsy and uncertain, confused and hesitant, but W H O A. We all know most of the time he's sassy, sarcastic, maybe even overconfident. Obviously, when it comes to the people he cares about, Percy "fatal flaw loyalty" Jackson is going to be gentler and kinder in moments where it matters. We've seen him be that way for Grover, and Tyson, and now Frank and Hazel, and he's even developed a soft spot alongside his respect for Reyna.

This scene happens in the very first chapter we have from Percy's perspective after he is reunited with Annabeth (which comes WAYYY too late imo, 150 pages later!!!), during their first opportunity to have a conversation alone since being reunited. And one of the first things he brings up? Boom. Marriage.

Of course, he's not proposing. They have hell and back to get through first (wink wink). They can't exactly be thinking about planning a wedding. But he's been thinking about it anyway. He wants to make plans with her. I've never heard him talk like this (aside from his narration describing the idea coming to him in SoN).

But then, if he's not proposing, why is he saying this? Here's the last thing Annabeth said:

"I missed you, Percy."

And his thoughts in response:

Percy wanted to tell her the same thing, but it seemed too small a comment. While he had been on the Roman side, he'd kept himself alive solely by thinking of Annabeth. I missed you didn't really cover that.

So how does he respond to "I missed you"?

By telling her he got through it by thinking about a future with her. That she gave(gives) him hope.

GODS, JACKSON.

And we know Percy is an idiot when it comes to girls, don't get me wrong—and he's been trying to tell this girl how he feels for years but has been too chickenshit, even after she kissed him in BotL... But he immediately regrets his words here, not because they're not true, but because he's scared. When was the last time Percy ever described himself as TERRIFIED? It's not often, and only ever when he's facing a truly horrifying enemy or he thinks there's a chance one of his friends will be killed. But he describes his entire relationship with Annabeth—which is based on years of consistency, friendship, loyalty, bravery, trust, refusing to give up on one another, even when all hope seems to be lost, sacrificing so much for each other, not at all a flimsy infatuation here—as delicate like a glass sculpture. Not because it actually is, in reality (we see that, as the audience, but it's harder to see that when you're in it, and again, Percy is dumb with girls), but because he's terrified of doing something wrong and breaking it.

Percy tends to be the guy who fights first, asks questions later. (Yes, he tends to win fights by outsmarting his opponents rather than brute force, but still.) He is not usually a guy who is scared he's doing something wrong. But he is scared he will lose Annabeth by doing something wrong. Because he still feels like he doesn't understand her. He trusts her with his life, and beyond—he would trust her with anything—but she is all he wants, and he doesn't understand her.

I will never get over Percy "loyalty" Jackson describing his relationship with Annabeth as "delicate, like a glass sculpture."

I've read 200 pages past it and I'm still thinking about it.

I want to talk to Rick

please

just for a minute

At work, about a YEAR ago, I ran into a mom and her toddler in the bathroom. I don't know how old the kid was exactly, and I don't know who the mom was, or which company she works for (we share the bathrooms with other suites in the building). While I was in the stall, I heard the mom tell the child not to "look at people in here," but I saw no little kid peering at me, so she must have done a pretty good job keeping her back. Kid was muttering something repetitive, and when I came out of the stall to wash my hands (mom was still working on hers), the mom was like "hmm what's that?" The kid pointed at my feet and repeated "Boots," louder and clearer this time.

The mom nodded and said "oh yes, she dresses up for work." Or something like that. Finished washing up and shuffled her kid out, who was still muttering "boots boots boots boots" under her breath. I remember the specific shoes I was wearing, because they were suede ankle boots, and I was surprised she identified them as boots at all, but nonetheless...

I told my friend about this encounter, and he and I now repeat "boots" to each other for no reason, you know those random inside jokes? Assuming this was some quirky occurrence for her, word-of-the-day type thing, maybe she just learned what boots are, a vocal stim, her current hyper fixation, she's a toddler, it probably meant absolutely nothing to her in the grand scheme, right?

Well, yesterday, I ran into her and her mom again. Except now, she's a year older. If she was 2 last year, now she's 3. Same sort of thing happened, I heard her mom tell her not to look at me under the stall, and didn't see her approach, so mom must have been successful at holding her back. But this time, a year of development has lended itself to fuller articulation, because she responded crisp and clear: "I want to see her boots."

Y'all I nearly lost my mind. I'm wearing DIFFERENT ankle boots this time. My friend and I have been repeating "boots" to each other for a YEAR, thinking this probably meant NOTHING to her-- but no, this girl is all about B O O T S. Has been the whole time.