#flipwart

I was waking up in the middle of the night again, despite myself. Nothing was making it better, making it any easier to fall asleep and stay asleep. I'd tried herbal remedies, teas, tinctures, whatever else I could get my hands on. And, none of it made a difference. It's like every time I close my eyes, I'm back there with them in that stuffy house, and they're screaming after me, and something made of glass hits the wall beside me but I don't turn around to look at what it is because I'm already running, I'm running and I--

Deep breaths, Marcy. You're the Chief Ranger of the Newtopian Knight Guard, now. You have to cool down, calm yourself, and get some rest. You can't keep running on empty.

A part of me knew even then, I think, of what was really keeping me up. The guilt weighed so heavily upon me I could physically sense it, like some foreboding shadow incessantly pulling gravity down upon my chest. I'd been in Newtopia for over two months; surely Anne and Sasha should've found me by now. Andrias had said that the mountain passes had thawed; he'd told me that our chances of finding each other quickly were greatest if I stuck it out here, in the center of Amphibia where they would surely end up sooner or later.

I'd hoped for sooner.

I folded my hands across my stomach to keep it down against the bed while my feet fidgeted and kicked beneath the silk sheets. They should've been here by now. Why aren't they here yet? What's holding them back? What if they're not here at all? What if something bad happened to them?

Anne was far too nice for her own good. Surely she could befriend some good folks like I did, but what if she fell into the hands of someone with malicious intent? It would be so easy for someone to take advantage of her heart and manipulate her! Sasha could hold her own, but she couldn't hold her tongue. What kind of trouble would she have gotten herself into by now? What if she'd picked a fight against something much stronger than her charm and cheerleading skills could handle?

I sucked a mouthful of air into my lungs. Nope. Not sleeping anymore tonight.

I sat up, turned on the mushroom light beside me, and rubbed my eyes as my room was bathed in its purple glow. The velveteen drapes above me swayed and rocked in my tired vision, but I stood up and forced myself out of bed anyway. Everything about this room was so nice: the arching window, the hand-carved oak desk, the maps and blueprints that decorated the walls, the blankets, the rugs, the soft chairs. They'd given me so much here. It felt suffocating.

A walk would do me some good. I slipped my cape over my pajamas just for warmth; no one but the guard would be out wandering the castle grounds at this time of night, and they wouldn't pay me any mind.

My feet carried me without my recognition. I wove my way through guiled hall after guiled hall, trying not to stare at the giant portraits of royalty whose glares cast downward at me sent shivers up my spine. Andrias had told me all about them and the great accomplishments of their reigns, but, God, I just felt so small beside them. Like any one of them could swallow me whole without a second thought.

The next thing I knew, I was facing the exit out onto the balcony on my floor. The patterned stained glass shone on those double doors, filtering in moonlight to dance in waving colors on the marbled floors. But, past them was something beautifully plain and underwhelming. I forced my hand on the lower golden handle made for someone of my height, but I quickly realized that someone else had used the much higher set above; the door was still left ajar.

He was leaning over the short railing, his arms crossed behind his back and his white brows drawn together on his forehead. The purple glow of the lit-up city behind echoed around the edges of his blue arms and face and reflected brightly off his chest plate. I'd never seen anyone look so deep in thought.

"King Andrias?"

His head shot up quickly, and his back straightened. I took an instinctive step back, gripping the edges of my cloak to wrap them tighter around my shoulders. The last time he had seen my without my armor, I was being presented to him in a hospital gown and cast. Appearing in front of his grace in my pajamas made me feel even smaller than the portraits in the hallway.

His knotted brow quickly softened and his eyes that had been shadowed in contemplation now shone in my direction. I immediately felt myself relax; Andrias was so unlike all the royals I read about before coming here. He was so kind and jovial and full of heart. "Why, Marcy, what are you doing out here at this hour? Your species does sleep, doesn't it?"

My brain immediately wanted to jump into explaining to him to nuances of the human circadian rhythm and the insomnia I was currently facing. But, even I could sense the gentle, joking inflection in his tone.

"Yes, of course we sleep," I said, approaching the railing beside him and wrapping my hands around two bars--I couldn't take any chances without Anne here. "I just, for whatever reason, can't find it within myself to do so tonight. Know what I mean?"

He nodded and a low hum drifted down to me as he turned to look out over Newtopia, again.

"With a mind like yours, I'm not surprised. You always have so much going on up in there. Hard to sleep when all you can do is think."

If I were Anne, I would've been able to see that he was talking more about himself than me. Instead, I relished in his compliment for a moment, every inch of my being fluttering with the absolute insanity that a literal king thought so highly of me, just me as I was.

"How about you, King Andrias? Why are you up so late?"

Something between a laugh and snort shook the stone beneath my feet. I held onto the railing tighter. "Oh, Marcy, I think we're in the same boat, here."

"Oh," I forced a laugh back, masking my confusion. "Well, do you want to talk about it? My friends and I always used to talk about what was bugging us over the phone when one of us couldn't sleep. It helps humans; I bet giant salamanders aren't that different."

He stiffened. His arms moved from their thoughtful position at his back to crossed in front of his marked chest.

Shit, Marcy. You've done it, again. How'd you manage to make the nicest guy in the world uncomfortable? What did you say this time? Was it, 'bugging?' Does that have a different connotation here, a linguistic change built upon the terrifying things that were the insects of this planet?

I was about to ask him and clarify my meaning, but his open palm approached me instead and settled against the ground beside me. I stepped gently onto his fingers, holding onto his outstretched thumb for support, chiding myself the whole time for not wearing shoes out here and getting some of his slime coating on the undersides of my feet. He held me up to his eye level and gave me a flash of his bright white smile before moving to make room for me to climb onto his shoulder.

We'd done this a few times through the castle; it made traveling easier. His strides were much larger than mine that ended half-of-the-time with me falling over in trying to keep up, which would just lead to him nearly stepping on me.

But, something was different. I couldn't name it, but something felt different as he whispered just lightly enough for me to hear beside his face, "I'm not sure talking can quiet my one-thousand-year-old problems, but how about a distraction? Want a match of Flipwart?"

"Sure!" I answered quickly, glad he didn't seem to be caught up in whatever I'd said that had bugged bothered him earlier. I was much more interested in just having a quiet little chat with as tired as I was then, but I was finally getting good at the game; I wouldn't much mind a round or two.

A part of me still stuck on the weird feeling. What problem could fester for a thousand years? What kind of problem would keep this goofy, big lug up at night?

I shook myself off of the thought. It was none of my business, and I could not ask that of the King of the world that I did not belong to.

I held onto the metallic piece beside his neck to steady myself as he walked. I tried to keep my balance without stepping onto his hair and getting it stuck on my newly sticky feet, but that was so hard. Every step he took felt like an earthquake to me.

But, then we were finally in the familiar parlor of the castle, adjacent to the throne room. He carefully set me down on one side of the table while he took a seat on the other side. I stood off of the margins of the board while he took a second to arrange the pieces for us both; it was much faster to let him do so on this board, largely made for his hands.

Playing wasn't bad, though. I started off pushing the pieces around, but it took too long, and we both always eventually settled for me calling out my movements and the King executing them for me on the board.

"Archer to G5."

The wooden piece shuffled by past me as he plucked it up in the air and pulled it closer to the middle of the board, where it immediately shot down one of his pawns.

He sighed heavily, "You're not so easy to beat anymore. Guess I'll have to resort to distracting you. What was it that was keeping you up tonight?"

He moved another pawn forward from his side of the board, still trying to protect his royal pieces and being too scared to let the big players fulfil their roles. Stupid move. He really was tired.

"I'm sure it's nothing as big as the stuff you have on your mind. I'm just missing my friends, Anne and Sasha." He stiffened again, his hand tensing around one of the pawns in his dead pile. I decided to change the subject. "Oh, move my knighted heron to E3, would you? I'm just worried about them; I hope they're okay."

His hand faltered for the first time in the match, hesitating as he grabbed my knight and moved it for me. It swiped down another one of his blocking pawns. He moved his last one into place as his own turn.

"If your friends are half as capable as you, I'm sure they're fine. You shouldn't lose faith in them so easily."

There was a low bitter tone to his voice. He must've been mad at my bold move. I'll admit, it was pretty ballsy of me to throw him out there like that; King Andrias could easily take it out. But, that's what I was waiting for.

"I know, I know. They're so much more than capable, too; I can't wait for you to meet them. Sasha's so clever and as tough as a toad. And, you'll really get along with Anne! If anyone can match your joy and love for others, it's Anne."

He let out a huff of a laugh before I used my own body to push the knight just one square over to take out another pawn. The smile that had crossed his face fell into a thoughtful frown. He thumped his fingers into the table rhythmically.

"I just, I thought they'd be here by now."

His hand hovered one piece, then he shook his head and drew his hand back.

"Yeah, I'd thought so, too, Marcy."

I took a deep breath, and it shuddered inside of me involuntarily. I sunk down against the knight and leaned against the wood, trying to force more air into my lungs before I broke in front of him.

Immediately, the King's focus shifted from his precarious situation on the board to me. "Marcy?"

Fuck. He sounded so soft. How did someone with such a big, loud voice manage to be a thousand times more gentle than I was?

I drew my knees up to my chest. The force made the piece behind me topple over. Fuck.

I started to unfurl myself from my curled position to turn over and try to fix the mess I'd made, but I was still gasping for air, and my face was suddenly wet, and oh God was I sobbing now--

He moved the knight back up before I had a chance. Then, his hand came over in front of me, and he stuck this finger in the hood of my cloak, holding me up, too, like I might topple myself over.

"Marcy, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I started, unable to break away from his hold. My voice cracked without my permission. "I'll straighten up, I'll--"

"It's fine; you're fine, Marcy, don't worry about that. Now, tell me what's going on?"

I stopped struggling against him. I couldn't stop the words falling from me.

"I never should've done it. I never should've found that box and dragged them here because what if they're not so capable? What if they're not okay? I was so lucky to end up here with you, but where are they? And I--I didn't even tell them what I was doing because I was so stupid and selfish and all I wanted was to take them with me wherever and never let them go."

"What? Slow down, kid. What is all this?" He grabbed a giant tissue from his pocket and shoved a corner of it in my direction. "Where did all this come from?"

I took it and clutched it in my hands, not sure what to do with it. "I didn't tell you everything before, King Andrias. I'm so sorry. I--I'm not some great ambassador from my world. I ran away from Earth. I ran away from my parents. I found a book about the music box I showed you a picture of. It told me what would happen. I knew there was a chance it would whisk us off somewhere else, but I didn't think it really would and I didn't think it would separate us, too. I was just desperate. Even that chance was enough, so I helped get Anne to steal the thing, and I had them open it with me in the park. I didn't tell them what it was and what it might do or why I'd even wanted it."

"Woah, Marcy, take it back a bit. What do you mean you ran away from home?"

Another sob caught in my throat. "My parents told me my dad got a new job. He was gonna move us across the country, and I'd be so far away from Anne and Sasha, and they were all I had--all I ever had back home. I couldn't--I couldn't lose them."

"Oh, Marcy--"

"And I've never been away from them for this long! And, I'm so worried all the time because if anything happened to them--if anything happens, it's all my fault."

"Hey, hey," he shoved the tissue piece in my hand up to my face, but his fingers were too large to dab the tears away, so it only meant that the cloth was shoved against my entire face. At least that stopped me from running my mouth for a moment. "Marcy, you're just a kid, you can't put that kind of blame on yourself. Besides, it sounds like to me you made the right decision."

"What?"

"Well, if these friends of yours care for you just an ounce as much as you care for them, imagine how heartbroken they'd have been when you told them you were moving away. They wouldn't want to be separated from you, either. You had all the best intentions--you sent all three of you to another world for the adventure of a lifetime! How many others of your kind are given this opportunity?"

"None, except for in movies."

"Moo-vies, yes, but you've already told me those aren't real. So, think of the gift you've just given them. Be patient, Marcy, I'm sure they've found their own fun out in Amphibia and grown so much, just like you. They'll be here soon enough. And, I bet they're just as eager to be reunited with you."

I could feel a warm blush rising to my cheeks. "You really think so?"

"Marcy, I've had friends as close as your little group before. Nearly a thousand years ago. I would've done anything to keep them by my side, too."

Seeing that I was finally breathing normally and that I had finally used the tissue to wipe my face, he released his finger from the back of my hood. He brought the other end of the tissue up to his own eyes, and I couldn't help but stifle a laugh as he wiped away some water collecting on the edges there.

I was about to ask about his friends when he pointed back to the board and said, "Come on, now, let's finish this game."

He moved his king forward and captured my knighted heron. I smiled. It was just the opening I'd been waiting for.

"Other archer, to E6."

His hand froze, realizing his mistake.

"Come on, big guy, you wanted to finish, right?"

Slowly, reluctantly, he grabbed my archer and set it before his own king.

"Marcy, I--"

"Flipwart!" I cheered and ran to the middle of the board, placing my hand on my archer beside me.

His hand should've come back down to knock over his king in polite resignment. Instead, I looked up to see his crown casting shadows upon his face as his dark eyes raced across the board, looking for another option. There wasn't any. I was bold, sure, but I--the head of the chess club--knew better than to go for a checkmate without making sure my partner couldn't wiggle their way out of it.

"King Andrias, I learned from the best. I already analyzed all of your possible moves before going, just like you'd told me to. You can't get out of this one; I checked."

His finger came down and pushed the black king into the board below me. I put one foot over the piece's fallen body and pumped my fists up into the air.

"Woo-Hoo! That's one for Marcy! It took me long enough, huh?"

He pushed himself away from the table and into his chair. His hands shook as he took the crown off his head and set on the table. His aim wasn't quite there, and it ended up half on the board and knocked over several pawns in the way. It's point towered in front of me, and I couldn't see his face from where I was standing anymore.

"King Andrias?"

"It's been a thousand years since someone has beat me, kid."

I should've been excited by that. That's high praise, right? But, the way he said it didn't feel like it was. I made it feel like I'd just been delivered a life sentence. I took my foot off of the piece below me and made my way around the crown.

"King Andrias, it's nothing to be ashamed over. You were tired and distracted is all. I'm used to being tired and distracted, so I guess I got lucky. You'll, uh, you'll get me next time."

"Marcy, many congratulations on your victory. It's a much bigger deal than you think it is."

"Oh, well, thanks!" I smiled stiffly. His voice still wasn't quite right, but I couldn't trace what emotion exactly was lining his words. Jealousy? Envy? Bitterness? Guilt?

He held out his hand for me to climb onto again. Before I did, I grabbed the finger closest to me and hugged it. Again, his hand froze in place. Funny how the guy who loved giving hugs was so unused to receiving them.

"Thank you, King Andrias, for talking with me, listening to me. I think I can finally sleep, now."

He lifted me up to his shoulder again and began making his way out of the parlor, turning off the glowing mushrooms on our way out.

"Yeah, sleep now, while you can, Marcy."