This is probably really silly, and scatter-brained, (I'm writing this really late, the day before we leave for break) but bear with me.
When I was a little kid, I'd used to pretend I was a damsel in distress, waiting for my knight in shining armor to come and save me. Everyday I would imagine this knight was still coming for me. He'd come rescue me, whisking me away into the sunset, and we'd go off and live happily ever after. I probably watched too many Disney movies, and read too many fairy tales at that age, but over time I snapped out of fantasy, and back to reality. Where there are no prince charmings or happy endings. I still managed to keep a little bit of that hope, and innocent with me, since I'm still a kid.
Are you getting this so far? Good. Now, I have something else to tell you. Something that I thought for a very long time. I feel good to have accepted the fact, at an early age, that this is who I am: The flamboyant, bouncy, fun-loving, clumsy, easily distracted, gayer than the fourth of July Tigger that you know and love. Still, for a little while I felt like I needed to be straight to have someone love me. Maybe if I liked girls the way I like boys, people would like me. And the talk of our small town finally reached me.
"You know, some colleges don't let gay kids in."
"Does he want to have a family some day? I heard it's a tough process, adopting."
"What if he wants to get married? It's surely not legal for gays to marry."
"I would never let my son be gay. My poor baby would never take it out there. What Tigger needs is to live a normal life. Be normal, like all the other boys."
After all of this I snapped out of wanting to be straight so I'd be accepted. Either way, I wouldn't be. And I'm happy with myself. It doesn't matter that it will be hard. Life's hard anyway. But, I just wanted to share this with you. Kind of show you what my life has been. And according to a website I found called Dear Amy: "Both partners in a relationship need to have a mutual respect, and understanding. If you tell each other what your life has been like, you've got that. You just have to trust that the other will stay there with you, and accept it." So here I am, taking a chance. Writing this.
And I also wanted to say that all those days, weeks, even years of imagining this knight in shining armor, I figured out who it was. You. You're my prince charming. You're the one I've been waiting for. Now, I know nothing won't be a perfect fairytale ending, but don't judge me when I say that I want it to be. But, if you won't leave me, I won't leave you. Oh, and by the way, thanks for saving me.
