#flagerman

Richie: You fell through several stories. Do you remember anything?

Max: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Grace: There was no ambulance.

Steph: Yeah, dumbass, I drove you.

Max: Wha— but I heard a siren!

Pete: No, that was Ruth.

Do you know about post college flagerman friendship. Have you known about post college flagerman friendship. Will you know about post college flagerman friendship. When will you know about post college flagerman friendship.

As I formulate my own ideas about the class of twenty twenty wurn and their futures I've come to be a big believer of "some people left Hatchetfield after graduating and didn't look back and then some are still stuck here for their own reasons" and I think Ruth and Max end up in the second camp. Their jobs are close to one another (Ruth teaches dance to the youngins and Max is a fitness trainer at the gym on the same block) so they formed this odd friendship out of necessity but to both of their surprises it turns into something really genuine. They end up having more in common than they realize and being unbound from the chains of the high school pecking order means they're not as rigid about what they can and can't do anymore.

All that being said Ruth is Ruth so at least once a week she's making a pass at him that goes completely over his head but she thinks next time it'll totally work. Rinse and repeat

fly, my future flagermans

Ruth: The only package I want for Christmas is yours.

Max: I’m going to make you glisten like the snow.

Ruth: Tonight definitely won’t be a Silent Night.

Richie: Okay, I’ll go with Pete.

Steph: Chasity, you’re coming with me.

Grace: Naturally. We do have the best rapport of couples in this group.

Steph: And I wanna win.

Kyle: Jason and I will be another team.

Jason: And make sure nobody uses her phone to cheat.

Steph: I was checking.. the time!

Stacy: Bree?

Brenda: Yeah, you can come with me.

Pete: And that leaves…

Ruth: *smirking at Max*

Max: *smirking at Ruth*

Pete:

Steph: *standing in a long ass line*

Max: *walks up to Steph and grabs her hand* This is a crazy ass line.

Steph: What the fuck?

Max: Wait... You’re not my boyfriend.

Steph: Yeah, no shit, dumbass.

Richie, standing behind them: You’re holding the wrong hand, Max.

Max: You sure?

Steph: Yeah, we’re sure.

Max: But I feel compelled to finish this Beanie’s experience with you.

Steph: I’m not paying for you.

Max: Nevermind, I’m going back to my boyfriend—

Richie: I can’t pay, I’m broke.

Ruth, at the front of the line: Come hold my hand, Max! I’ll buy you anything you want!

Pete, sharing hot chocolate with Rudolph: You shouldn’t think that way.

Grace, cuddling with Steph: Yes, what makes you say that?

Ruth, sat in Max’s lap: Completely untrue.

Pete, putting a hand on her shoulder: Okay, thank you, Steph. I’ll take over now. First order of business: Steph has started several social media accounts just to shit on Max, so be sure to give those a follow from the links in your pamphlets for updates. Second: Grace and I have decided to come forward and actually charge Max with his crimes of battery, sexual harassment and assault - if anyone has anything to add and wants to come with us to the police station, feel free.

Grace: It is times like this I wish they kept capital punishment only for irredeemable, dirty men.

Pete: I’m sure we all second that. Anything else?

Jason: Hi, yeah, I’d just like to take this opportunity to say we have some new members this week.

Kyle, Richie and Ruth: