#flackback

Rei: 『♪~♪~♪』

Kaoru: 『♪♪♪♪♪』

Koga: 『H！E！L！L！』

Adonis: 『S！I！N！G！』

Koga + Adonis: 『We are 『HELLSING』 ...☆』

Keito: I have no idea what’s going on—

HELLSING…? No matter how I look at it, that’s UNDEAD!

Rei: 『♪~♪~♪』

Kaoru: 『♪♪♪♪♪』

Keito: Oi! Listen up!

I know this isn’t a great time but I need to ask you guys something!

Adonis: —Hey. Oogami, Oogami, Hasumi-senpai is in the stage wings making a racket.

I am not sure how our senpais will react to this, so I think we should deal with him before something bad happens.

Koga: Nah, if somethin’ was gonna happen, it woulda happened by now.

Actually, I don’t want this important live t’be interrupted. Guess we’ll have t’see what he wants.

Oi, shitty glasses— Whaddya want?

Can’t you see we’re in the middle of rehearsal?

Keito: Let me make this clear first of all - I have no intention of interrupting your activities. I’m no longer the vice-president of the Student Council so I have no reason to be supervising the activities of problem children like you.

Koga: God, you fuckin’ know how t’waffle on and on. So why are you here if it’s got nothin’ t’do with us? Random person who looks good in glasses, whaddya want, hmmmm?

Keito: Well I don’t see how that’s relevant. We once donned the same costumes and participated in the same activities, and now we share an agency.

And that is precisely why I, as a representative of RhythmLink, have gone out of my way to come ask you this.

Your recent “peculiar activity” has become troublesome for the agency.

Therefore, I’d like to know what’s happening, UNDEAD.

Firstly-, what is “HELLSING”?

Koga: ...

Keito: Why are you keeping quiet, Oogami?

Can’t you explain it to me? After all, as you quite rightly said, you and I are in different units and are complete strangers who–

Adonis: Please wait a moment, Hasumi-senpai. I don’t think Oogami will be able to explain this very well.

Truthfully, we don’t really know what’s going on ourselves—

Koga: Shut it, Adonis. Yer actin’ like a parent who’s watchin’ their kid run their first errand. Stop addin’ unnecessary shit to the conversation.

Adonis: But, Hasumi-senpai will probably be able to offer useful advice—

Koga: Shut up! He fuckin’ said it himself, he ain’t got nothin’ to do with us anymore!

Now you’re actin’ like your our parents and tryna stick your nose in where it doesn’t belong! Stupid shitty glasses.

Keito: That was never my intention… I’m really– no, I mean, I’m worried about you.

I always end up imposing Oogami with heavy burdens that are my own responsibility.

Koga: Oi, don’t apologise! They told me to take it on, and you told me it was a lot anyway!

…Seriously man, don’t worry ‘bout it. HELLSING is just a different name we, UNDEAD, use on stage.

Recently, the hardcore rock image we use on stage versus the stupid silly image we use on like, variety shows is creatin’ a divert… divertent?

Adonis: A divergence?

Koga: Yeah, that! It’s creating a divergence in terms of how we present ourselves, so we thought that we could just use different names whether we’re on stage or doin’ our regular activities!

It’s like those mangas you fuckin’ love so much. They use different names dependin’ on what they’re doin’.

Keito: Umu… I suppose that’s true, as there are mangaka that operate under different pseudonyms based on if they are working on commercial materials or R-18 material.

Though generally, fans can tell from their art style that it is the same person.

Adonis: I don’t know much about manga but. Think of it as a parent company setting up subsidiaries, where each brand markets different things dependent on what activities they engage in.

Our, so to speak, immoral, radical activities will be handled by HELLSING, and our more friendly and palatable activities handled by UNDEAD.

Only what we do and the name has changed, the members remain the same. Me, Oogami, Sakuma-senpai, and Hakaze-senpai.

Keito: So what’s the point in doing all this…?

Koga: Shut uppp, there’s a ton of reasons. I get you’re a producer ‘n all but why’s it any of your business?

Keito: ...

Koga: …It’s whatever, alright?

This is what I wanted. To be honest, the fans are a little confused but everyone else is pretty happy with it.

I feel like I can actually breathe now I’m not bein’ forced t’do stupid varieties shows ‘n shit like that.

So that means it’s a good thing— all of it is.

I said it’s fine so everyone who says otherwise should shaddup!

『♪~♪~♪』

[ ☆ ]

[images © CBS/Paramount]

Ames – Complex characters

Miranda Jones (“Is There in Truth No Beauty?”)

Sargon (“Return to Tomorrow”)

Alexander (“Plato’s Stepchildren”)

As is typical, my favorites list consists mostly of serious types of characters with a ton of nuance, a little bit of tragic history, and weaknesses that become their strengths. Whether you’re a blind ice queen who just wants to be more Vulcan, the leader of an extinct race seeing the world through new eyes, or a long-suffering little person who directs us to the moral high ground, these folks all get their moments to shine.

—

Caitlin – Charismatic entertainers

Harry Mudd (“I, Mudd”)

Cyrano Jones (“The Trouble with Tribbles”)

Trelane (“The Squire of Gothos”)

One thing that we saw a lot of in TOS was a ton of personality from our guest characters, and Caitlin’s list gravitates towards the most outrageous of the bunch. These over-the-top performers seize our attention the whole episode long with their snarky misbehavior, their charming buffoonery, and their titillating overacting. It’s no wonder we see these actors back in some capacity in future Trek series: they’re that fun to watch!

—

Jake – Rich backstories

Richard Daystrom (“The Ultimate Computer”)

Horta (“The Devil in the Dark”)

Samuel T. Cogley (“Court Martial”)

Less fun to watch but still entirely captivating, the characters on Jake’s list all surprise us in the end by filling out their backstories and then subverting your expectations. Watch the desperate scientist trying to prove that he’s just as brilliant as he was in his boy wonder years, the ruthless killer turn out to be a sympathetic mother protecting her young, and the salt-of-the-earth lawyer going out on a precarious limb. That’s how to create compelling characters!

—

Chris – Last-minute decisions

Harry Mudd (“Mudd’s Women”)

Beauregard (“The Man Trap”)

Matt Decker (“The Doomsday Machine”)

Okay, it’s probably not entirely fair to call all these “last-minute decisions” just because Chris misread the “pick 3 characters” message earlier in the week, as these are actually some really great choices with a secret dark side. They range from a strangely sinister conman, to a seemingly sentient plant who can sense shenanigans, to a commodore pushed to the limits of sanity!

—

While you’re here, make sure you’ve checked out our classic blogposts: Top Five Star Trek TOS Episodes and Bottom Five Star Trek TOS Episodes. You’ll see a lot of familiar faces over there, wink wink.

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