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tw sh mention utc
want to go back to...that.
want to.
but can't.
can't hurt friends around me like that again.
can't betray partner.
that's the only reason practically. otherwise i would be straight back there, going back to that.
but i want to so desperately because i deserve it and it WILL make me feel better. it makes me feel better.
want to cry.
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here comes heart attack number two I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I DID! WHAT DID I DO?! IS IT THAT ONE POST FROM EONS AGO? I...
...
i have a theory and i think i know it's true. or there's another theory. i don't. I CANT FUCKING DO THIS IM STARTING TO TEAR UP AGAIN
great I'm starting to cry now too hahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahah
on a less happy note i can feel something slightly crunching in my teeth and im scared it's my own teeth.
i need to shut the hell up im helping nobody and all I'm doing is spamming people's feeds and wasting oxygen.
did i ever talk about how MPU sees crying as weakness and said that if you cry you're being weak
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y'know what? i have no fucking confidence that PPU will give me the link to their fucking sources. like i can nag all i fucking want but they'll get mad and snap at me and i will fold immediately. but like where the fuck is this person genuinely getting it from bevause it doesn't make any fucking sense
AND IVE KEPT THIS INSIDE FOR A FUCKING YEAR AND IVE LITERQLLY MENTIONED THAT IVE BEEN RESEARCHING CHEST BINDERS FOR A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR AND IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME BEFORE I COULD FUCKING ASK AND THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY TO JUST SAY NO?!?! I DONT THINK ITS GONNA REDUCE THE SIZE OF MY CHEST TISSUE (CORRECT ME IF IM WRONG) BUT THEYRE SAYING IT IS!!! AND I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO FUCKING TRY TO ARGUE WITH HIM!
ITS A FUCKING ARTICLE OF CLOTHING!! JUST SHOW ME YOUR SOURCE! I. WANT. THE. BINDER. PLEASE HOLY SHIT IT CANT BE THIS FUCKING HARD
WILL THESE PEOPLE SHUT THE FUCK UP GOOD GOD HOLY FUCKING SHIT SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT THE FUCK UP SHUT UP
wh...
the hell did i do?! im not the reason your shoe fucking broke wth?!
ok and a tear slipped from my eye and im crying now i think they're mad at me...
and before u say "no they're not" i was skimming the msgs cuz there was like 400 and i saw tht their shoe broke and reacted w a crying emoji and they said "YEAH I FUCKING KNOW FIZZY" and i feel like crying now wth
