Jul 9, 2021
a series of unfortunate events
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a series of unfortunate events
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I didn't realize just how badly benign phonecalls can affects me until today. My girlfriend notice my body was acting off while we were on a call with our friend. Like, uneven breathing, sounding strained, body a bit type.
(History of hours-long calls) (not feeling seen or heard) (being forced to sit in silence) (the impulse to perform) (not feeling safe with majority of people) (had training for replacing behaviors I used to convey disinterest and a desire for things to end with "active listening") (associating phone calls with fear)
Well okay man?
What else did we do. Uh. Oh right we had to speak with an older woman. Usually I'm fine with older women but this was all of a sudden and I had just woken up. (Don't know who I am)
And uh... I know someone came out to speak to a cleaning lady we enjoy the company of I think that was Lydia (Yeah, partially me at least)
Um and then.. we sent emails. Because of our research. And we (someone in here at least) tend to dread doing any kind of work from time to time? Which is weird, because it's not really their problem when the body actually does work and tasks. I just pop up and do the shit, and I feel relatively okay handling it. Don't know who I am either. Eh... yeah not sure. Someone "Boring"
Then we had a meeting, which I also did. Talked with a guy that knows the local flora. And I came back and spent time with the cat we're watching over until his companion comes back. Someone in here likes animals and acts very friendly with them. Could be Wikki? (Nah, not me.) Well then, someone who likes animals. She(?) also came out to greet and play with him this morning. Maybe she'll be Echidna. (After looking through wikipedia I'll go with Matago for a while)
