#firsttimehashtagger

three weeks out from dr. appt. for g to determine if adhd is the culprit or if it was the uncooked hotdogs and excessive amounts of doritos i consumed during my pregnancy that is to blame. damn chemicals and gmo's. 

there wasn't a 'straw that broke the mama's back' moment for us, really.  just a realization that our son was about to be nine years old and it feels to us like he is still a toddler some days with all.the.reminders.  he has his moments of typical nine year old behavior, sure.  but boy, those moments feel few and far between most days. 

a lengthy email, a couple of phone calls and boom:  we have an appt. to get our beautiful first born boy tested.  for what we *think* must be adhd.  (all the books i've read confirm it)  and all i can think is, thank god!  it's adhd.  all this time i thought i was just a really shitty mother. whew.  except not.

i just really want a complete CTRL/ALT/DELETE on the last few years.  all the frusteration, yelling, consequences, tears, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, all of it.  we just thought we have got ourselves a really headstrong, stubborn, strong-willed kid.  maybe we do.  maybe there is a reason. 

we just want to do what is best for our family.  g's issues have really put a stress on our whole family, even though we try hard not to let it.  we want a less stressed out situation for all involved. 

i've lost count of how many times i've left our house in such a state that my husband legit says, "you're coming back, right?"