*Disclaimer: I’m not a parent. I’m an aunt and one of five children.* Despite the disclaimer, I think it’s safe to say that it is very important that children are taught self-awareness, autonomy, and self-love. With self-awareness, comes emotional intelligence and discernment. Let’s teach children to be themselves and love themselves. We need to raise them on self-love, validate who they are,…

Hi, anon! This is a great question. I can’t speak on behalf of all first-generation children, but yeah, defining your identity as a child when your parents are from a different country certainly comes with a slew of challenges. My parents always wanted to instill Polish culture in me. They spoke Polish at home, cooked Polish food, celebrated Polish holidays, and sent me to Polish Saturday school every week to learn how to read and write in Polish until I was about 14 years old. Honestly, I didn’t start to appreciate their efforts until I was older. As a kid, I found it annoying that I had to go to school 6 days per week instead of 5 like my friends. 

Also, my dad has struggled with learning English his entire life. He understands a lot and can speak it when he has to, but he mostly speaks in Polish and has a thick accent when he speaks English. Since he was a stay-at-home dad for most of my childhood, he handled a lot of the parent-teacher conferences when I was in elementary school, and I remember I felt really embarrassed that I had to translate for him to my teacher and vice versa, even though, in retrospect, there were many students in my class whose parents also didn’t know English that well so it wasn’t a big deal. But as a result of all of that, I really tried to distance myself from being Polish. 

In retrospect, it all seems silly. Kids feel insecure when they realize they’re different, no matter how small those differences are. I remember I even felt bad about my dad making me sandwiches for lunch using Polish rye bread, and I didn’t like it when he put Polish candies or snacks in my lunchbox. It makes me laugh now. I’m just grateful that I went to school in one of the most diverse places in the world, so I definitely wasn’t alone in my feelings. The most important thing one can do for children is to make them feel like they belong. My teachers did a great job of that, I think. They always taught us that being from a different culture and having parents who are immigrants is something to be cherished. They stressed that America was built by immigrants and that we’re all Americans no matter where we come from or what we look like. I’m very blessed to live in a part of the country where that kind of rhetoric is encouraged rather than discouraged. A majority of my classmates came from different backgrounds so we learned to have empathy for one another. It helped that 90% of my class in elementary school was Latinx and not white lol. And once I started public high school, it was the norm that most of our parents were not from the U.S. 

That said, I still consider myself to be more American than Polish because I’ve lived in America my entire life, and that’s always been how I’ve viewed my identity. When people ask where I’m from, I say I’m a New Yorker. Of course, maintaining my connection to Polish culture is still important to me, but I know I will never have the same bond with Poland that my parents have. When I speak Polish, although I think I speak it fairly well, I can’t hide my American twang, and almost every native speaker immediately knows that I didn’t learn Polish in Poland, so I definitely would feel out of place if I had to live in Poland for a long period of time despite the fact that language wouldn’t be an issue. 

In terms of overcoming those challenges, I think it’s something you grow into over time naturally. Identity is something we all struggle with over the course of our lives. But the older I got, the less I cared and the less important it seemed. I went from being embarrassed to being proud of being bilingual because I was able to soar through my foreign language classes in high school and college with flying colors. I started to realize what a gift it was, and I think my experiences of having grown up as a first-generation American have taught me how to be more empathetic and curious about the world around me. It’s also why I get extremely pissed off when someone’s American identity is brought into question just because their parents were born someplace else. America is all I have ever known and it is my home, but the only reason I don’t get told to “go back to Poland” is because I’m white. A non-white first-generation American has to constantly assert their American-ness, and I think that’s bullshit because if someone told me to go back to Poland, I would tell them to fuck off lol. 

I know that was a long answer. I hope it made some sense and was somewhat helpful. 😊💖

How First-Generation College Students Do Thanksgiving Break  by Leonardo Santamaria

On this episode, which is part 3 of 3 in my series on access and equity, I sit down with Matt Rubinoff, who for years has been advocating for first-generation and low-income students. 

We discuss, among other things:

What’s so special about being first anyway?

Why first-gen students should take a “What’s in it for me?” approach

Resources for first-gen students and their counselors, including (one of my all-time favorites) the “I’m First! Guide to College,” which highlights resources and opportunities available to first-gen students at hundreds of colleges and universities

Questions first-gen students should ask when researching colleges

The importance of not just getting to college, but getting through it

How first-gen and low-income students can receive not only free mentoring but also free test prep!

(Courtesy Photo)

Texas Border Business

WHAT: National First-Generation College Celebration WHEN: Tuesday, Nov. 5, and Friday, Nov. 8, 2019  WHERE: UTRGV Brownsville and Edinburg campuses

RIO GRANDE VALLEY, TEXAS – At UTRGV, 58 percent of students are the first generation to attend college in their immediate family.

The university will host events on…