#first prom

makeup and hair courtesy of my friend <333

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I can't sleep and I don't speak of the reoccurring nightmare I have. Except it's not much of a nightmare when you had to live through it. I knew I had too much to drink that night and that's why I dozed off to sleep. Little did I know that I'd have a surprise visitor. There are missing pieces, and I'm not sure what I'd like to know. One minute I'm asleep, the next my arms are pinned down, and I'm stripped down. Can I scream? No. I'm now in fear. I do cry. I do beg. I do say no, I do say stop, and then everything goes black. I don't know how much time goes by, but when my eyes are open again, when I'm finally conscious, someone else is in the room with me. I'm letting out rivers of tears and unknowingly I have been repeating "I told him no, I said stop" over and over like a broken record. I'm no broken record. I'm a broken girl. I was robbed that night. A piece of me was stolen from me. It surely tore me apart, but it didn't end me. Who knew that a night to remember would be remembered for all the wrong reasons. I blame myself. Maybe it is my fault. I drank too much. Maybe falling asleep while drunk meant "hey take advantage of me, take my sanity, tear me to shreds, make me hate myself, make me remember things no one should ever have to." But I know I wasn't asking for it, nor would I ever want it, nor that it was actually my fault.

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