#first intermission

It's hard to see, but even Picks is in on the 'stache effort ...

Ok, so, it’s been a day since we won our competition. What is this elusive prize you’ve been hiding? 

-Heatwave 

You ready now, kids? Great!

It’s a field trip to the surface!

So long as it’s within reasonable dist–

-Trailbreaker

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WAS RIGHT!!!

-Whirl

Ok, now that my audio sensors aren’t ringing…

Where exactly are we going?

-Hot Rod

That’s what I was trying to say. It could be anywhere, so long as it’s not too far from the outpost. You all are going to vote on the destination. 

-Trailbreaker

…Ok.

Anyone got ideas? 

-Hot Rod

Is Dayton too far? I’d like to see what the downtown of a human city is like, and Cincinnati’s is a crater.

-Boulder

Boulder, getting to Dayton would require circumventing Cincinnati entirely, because the highways around it are also rubble due to all those N2 airbursts. The logistics of reaching there would be a pain in the aft. Also, IIRC, there was an Air Force base right next to Dayton, so I don’t think the city’s as intact as you think it is.

Frankly, Lexington sounds much more doable.

-Heatwave

How about Cabin Fever resort park?

-Uzi

What. Why would you want a trip there?

What are we even supposed to do there?

-Cliffjumper

I dunno, hold a racing tournament or something?

-Uzi

Didn’t you kill her, N?

-J

She barely survived. :|

-N

And got upgraded to a shifter. |:( 

-V

That didn’t answer my main question, Uzi; why would you want us to go there?

-Cliff

Fine. It has to do with Prom and my mother. 

Turns out mom had similar witchcraft abilities to Doll and b*tchface. Dad showed me pictures of this after Prom happened, and guess what? That resort park is where he first met her (and Doll’s mom). Something about being put on a scrap salvage run after losing a bet. You guys can do whatever you want while we’re there, but I intend on getting to the bottom of this bullsh*t. 

-Uzi

Well, why didn’t you say so!?

Count me in!

-Sideswipe

I didn’t say you could help me! >:(

-Uzi

Uzi, doing that kind of stuff alone doesn’t tend to end well. Remember the first time you tried flying? Remember, we’ve got your back.

-Bee

Ugh, fine. But quit complicating my investigation plan!

-Uzi

Is nobody concerned about what else she said? About her mother?

-Blades

Blades, her mother died many years ago. Even if she were alive, I have a feeling she wouldn’t go on a killing spree like her niece did.

-Sideswipe

Mr. Trailbreaker, is Ms. Doorman even allowed to go on this trip? She may be on the blog, but she’s not part of our class.

-Chase

We could just take Mr. Vernon’s class with us.

-Bee

Pardon?

-Chase

Well, they would have won if… stuff didn’t happen. And we don’t have to tell them of the real purpose of going to Cabin Fever, we could just tell them we all want our mind off of recent events. 

-Bee

Uh, Bee, we do want our mind off of them. But maybe we can take some outdoor game stuff with us, and use that to distract ourselves and your class while you do your detective stuff.

-Hot Rod

That could actually work. 

-Arcee

Okay then, let’s have that vote. 

> File #1-A START ("file number one dash a start")

It has been some time since I have been told to do these kinds of expeditions, though I am not quite sure myself as to why I must be the one to do this, in all honesty. They could have sent someone else, but I guess they sent me to do this.

In any case, at least I have a partner that I can count on for this one. I wonder why all these people have gone missing, though even stranger is why there was only 4 recorded instances. What could all of those instances have in common, I wonder?

Well, whatever the case, Higan and I will be looking more into it! These dissapearences are quite unique, if I may say that. I guess this is the moment that the case is cracked... if I do not end up like those 4, of course, because that would be a wild ride if that ever happened, am I right?

Moreover, even if I do not end up missing like whatever those 4 people went through, I am still worried that Higan could end up missing as well, because Higan is a much higher priority than myself and I would rather go alone than take Higan with me on this one. Well, that is all for now...

File #1-A END ("file number one dash a end")

Hey there outpost 3! I've got a few questions for the Disassembly drones.

-/Robo-Jesus someone get her off of me!!!/-

So, N and V, regarding the sword blade wings; are they typically uniform size?

-/steel feathers in my face! Stop attacking me!/-

*Eagle screech*

Cuz our new Disassembly drone here has a set of wings that are pretty big, like some vast predatory bird! And I caught sight of some of her feathers splitting open-

-/NONONO NOT THE FACE!/-

-one sec, HEY! SHUT UP AND STOP AGITATING MY PATIENTS!

-/What are you-? No that's not yours/-

*crashing sounds*

*Sigh* as I was saying, her blade feathers split open, revealing small thrusters, so is that something standard issue, or is she some special variation of disassembly?

-/-son of a Subroutine! Give that back you Mettalic Magpie!!/-

*Caws of victory *

Oh, right, also do either of you know a Serial Designation F? Cuz that's the name on the band on her leg.

-/ OH COME ON SHE STOLE MY TABLET! I HAVE BLUEPRINTS ON THAT!/-

GOOD! I won't have to patch you up for a while then! Anyway, thanks for any light you can shed on this.

Cheif Medical officer of Outpost 15

Minerva

P.S. Brainstorm is fine. F was just flailing her wings in his face trying to steal his tablet.

P.P.S. don't worry about data leaks either. I traded some shiny scrap metal to get it back. She was trying to make a nest in the repair bay she's confined to.

Biscuits, J's going to kill me for saying this.

There are several... um, models of us Disassemblers, kinda like how there were hundreds of different dog breeds before the Flash. Or I guess a better comparison would be humanity and its various races and ethnicities. Me and my team are of the Alpha 2 model, Alpha meaning basically the "default" Murder Drone. The 2 is that we're the second, uh, generation of that default, as the Alpha 1 was phased out by the company in 2051.

Th-that's not to say we all look the same, heheh. If we get enough recorded kills, JCJenson lets us modify ourselves... so long as Mr. Sentinel approves of them. I've only gotten 29 confirmed Worker Drone kills since we were deployed, not quite enough for even the cheapest mod. J's gotten around 70, which she used to get her feet — usually the girls only get the "stilts," as maintenance calls them. And V's killed over 100, but—

-N

I haven't modded myself because I don't need any. Best of the team.

-V

Oh.

Okay then.

That brings us to the other models. IDK who's in charge of designing us, but they seem to have really liked animals, cause they've put quite a few features into them.

The Beta model, which F seems to be of, take after birds of prey. Larger wingspans, thrusters for extra speed in the air, and and three-pronged feet for grabbing on to railings, ledges, or... uh, people. I think G may be a derivative of the Beta 2, judging by her feet, but then there's her massive tail, and she's too small.

The Gamma model take after wolves, lions, and tigers. They have claws integrated into the fingers, more sensitive audio receptors — they can even run on all fours. Kinda wish I was one... although I probably would've killed— ANYWAYS!!!

The Delta Model is basically the Alpha, but amphibious — mostly taking after sharks. They can be told apart by the fins on their arms, legs, and back. That, and they have no wings.

The Epsilon model take after chameleons. ... I don't think I need to explain what they do. Mainly they're used for scouting or stealth ops.

Finally, there's the Zeta model... also know as the Shifter model. In all honesty, they're closer to Heavy Drones than they are to Disassembly Drones, except they... uh...

-N

They're like this loser's emo friend. Turn into a car or truck or jet fighter of some kind for higher mobility. Don't ask why corporate thought to turn them into vehicles instead of animals, even J has no clue about it.

Shifters are like stormtroopers (no, not those stormtroopers). The company uses them whenever brute force is necessary to get a job done. There aren't that many Zetas around, though one of them, Sentinel Major, somehow got high enough on the corporate ladder to become J's boss.

As for your other question... *sigh* N, J, and I were trained alongside another trio when we were first built and turned online. S, K, and D, if my new memory core's not lying. We really didn't get along, as our teacher pitted us against each other— still pit our teams against each other, and every other team built before and after us. It's all a competition, one where you otherwise never see your opponents. So no, we've never heard of Serial Designation F until your message, miss.

-V

You mean you've never even met any other teams in person? Robo-Jesus Christ...

-Boulder

There goes that potential interrogation down the garbage chute.

-Chase

Dude. Really?

Hot Rod

Let me get this straight. When you called me a shifter during prom, you were saying some of you guys have my powers!?

-Uzi

Yep. They're usually around the size of a Heavy Drone, though, so I imagine they'd call you an imp.

-V

BITE ME!!! >:(

-Uzi

Oh chill out. If there's anything special about you besides your... personality(?), they don't have two vehicles they can turn into, only one. Besides, you're fast enough to run circles around them and they'll just overheat to death trying to hit you.

-V

Hold on. You said they're used as stormtroopers. Why would Jenson need someone for that kind of role?

-Orion

I don't know the details, but apparently the company's not just fighting the WDF. J said a few things about rival companies... and something about the Red Army... but said V and I didn't need to know the specifics. And because we weren't really allowed to ask questions...

Ok everyone, I would like to introduce our newest members: Blades, Hot Shot, and Thaddeus “Thad” Copperbottom! Unlike us they’re not part of class H1A, so make sure they feel welcomed and treat them fairly.

-Bee

Uh, thank you Bee, thanks for letting me on here. 

Please tell me nothing too crazy happens…

-Blades

How crazy are you talking? “Personal hijinks” crazy, or “Half this class is batsh*t insane” crazy?

-Sideswipe

This class is stale. 

-V

OH MY ROBO-GOD!!! 

Why didn’t you say the murder bots are on here!?

-Blades

Oh.

Whoops?

I kinda thought you maybe wouldn’t join if you knew but I really wanna make up for lost time so I left that detail out. 

But it’s fine, they’re done with committing genocide. We’re friends! 

-Bee

You and N are friends. ):<

-V

Work in progress?

-Hot Shot

More or less. I think V’s getting there… eventually.

-Hot Rod

Eh. I dunno. 

At least this helps me get some breathing room away from Wedge. 

-Hot Shot

What? I thought you two were buddies!

-Whirl

Whirly, everyone needs some time away from each other to clear their mind. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Wedge can be a bit… aggressive.

-Hot Shot

I’ve looked at some of the posts on here, and it looks like a pretty chill place. 

I know you guys have a dead classmate, but I just want the living brother to know, you’re not alone. I, uh, lost a little sister to a computer virus a couple of years back, So I know what it feels like to lose someone close.

-Thad

Uh, thanks...

-Sideswipe

You and your barely functioning toasters…

-J

…

…

Teach. You need to stop shadow dropping the disassemblers into the blog.

-Heatwave

Sorry kids, this was just as much a surprise for me. Apparently Prowl moved up the schedule for her integration. 

-Trailbreaker

And if it were up to me, I wouldn’t have even agreed to this merger. I can see the undersized Heavy Drone who broke my T-cog is here. But as much as I'd like to tear you limb from limb, current policy dictates I can't do that.

Which reminds me. N, V, we need to talk once class is over.

-J

Bee, you can stop hiding under your desk now. She can't hurt you if she wanted to, and I wouldn’t let her if she tried.

-Cliff

[Voice Transcription enabled]

-this work, I know I saw the brain guy- OH! YES I GOT IT WORKING!

Hi blog people that Brain guy and lady doctor talk to! Mister Crosshairs said that the people in charge said I could ask you things!

>Please don't call me 'mister', it makes me sound like a ponce<

Ooh! They have disassembly drones there to, right? That don't need to murder anymore right???

>uh, yeah, think they said uh- *fingers snapping* don't remember the name, but their Doc figured out how to fix it after that Uzi girl told em' bout' the needing oil to live thing<

*happy screech* Thank you Uzi! Tell Doctor thank you too! Oh! Question! Disassembly friends! How do the other drones treat you? Some of them yell mean things at me, but then I just pick them up and leave them in a high place! It's funny cause they keep yelling at the not mean people to get them down but the not mean people say that they don't have a ladder even though they are carrying it!

>pffft, yeah she's a riot<

Thank you for answering! Crosshairs, how do I send the ask?

>I'll do it<

-Serial Designation F

P.S.

Crosshairs here. Update on the screaming guy. About an hour ago he just, stopped screaming to take a drink of Oil, and then just went back to screaming. Science team members are weird.

It's like you say; it's a mixed bag. There are plenty of people willing to talk to us. Outside our class, I mean. Most of them are in the other senior classes, but they've been largely supportive so far!

Others aren't so open-minded to our integration. Uzi's dad's is one of them, but he's too "high profile" to retaliate like how you described when he sees me talking with Uzi. But he is being cordial, at least, after what happened at Prom.

Most of them are just scared, though; they don't antagonize me and my team, they just try to avoid us.

Mr. Pax- sorry, Orion said that there used to be residents who were... more violent in their opposition than what we've experienced, amongst other things. Apparently they tried to overthrow the council many years ago because Mr. Doorman's... plan of action, but failed and got banished for their actions.

-N

Apologies in advance if this triggers some unpleasant memories for anyone else, but hiding behind the doors isn't a plan of action. It's a plan of getting the whole outpost killed. Hell, you and your sisters helped prove that! Sure, Megatron and his supporters took things too far, killed several bystanders and nearly tore the outpost to bits, but he kinda had a point.

-Hot Shot

The Gladiator? That Megatron? He's from here!?

-J

...

I'm sorry, but can we continue this conversation elsewhere? Preferably not on a public connection like here.

-Orion

J's blue screening again... and V and Bee are staring at me weirdly... Did I do something wrong? :(

And the results are in. Cabin Fever resort, 10, Lexington, 3. 

Now all that’s left is to get Mr. Verson’s class on board.

-Bee

I’m not so sure if he’ll take it up. The guy’s as lethargic as a bear in hibernation. Don’t be surprised if–

-Trailbreaker

20 MINUTES LATER…

He took it up. 

Looks like we’re having things your way, kids.

-Trailbreaker

Great. With that out of the way, what games should we take with us? Cube? Tug of war?

-Hot Rod

How about dodgeball?

-V

Promise not to throw them hard enough to break our visors?

-Bee

Dodgeball is an indoor game. And it is highly possible we’ll lose the ball in the open wilderness.

-Chase

There’s a bobsled in my family’s apartment. Sunny, uh, made it for a final exam a few years back. He showed me how to use and steer it a few days before the blog started…

-Sideswipe

Are you sure you want us to take it with us? I mean, if it’s something Sun made, don’t you think you wanna preserve it?

-Bee

Wasn’t Sunstreaker, like, an artist? Sorry if I'm not familiar with the rest of the class.

-Hot Shot

Believe it or not, he had interests outside of purely artistic endeavors.  

Sunny would want the thing to be used. He was quite adamant on taking it for a spin if… if we were no longer besieged. No offense, guys. 

-Sideswipe

F*ck it, we’ll bring it with us. 

Genocide bot with the pigtails, want to contribute anything?

-Cliff

Your mandatory team-building exercises are cute, but count me out of them.

-J

I hate to break it to you, but whether or not you add an activity of your own or not, you’re probably going to participate in these. That’s the entire point why the Council has straddled our class with you and your team. So either you can mope around in the corner like you’ve been doing since you got here, crying your spark out or whatever you’ve been doing, or you can suck it up, move on from the fact that your company doesn’t give enough sh*ts about your well-being to rescue you and your friends’ afts, and accept that your with us now, whether you or any of us like it or not. 

…

Boulder, why in the love of Asimov did you just come back with board games? Do you not understand the meaning—

-Heatwave.

Just in case something causes us to get stuck indoors, Heatwave. Like that blizzard-hurricane Outpost 15 mentioned the other day. 

-Boulder

You really think that’s gonna hit our area? That’s on the coast, Hulk. That’ll never reach us. 

-V

The name’s Boulder, actually. And you’d be surprised how far inland a hurricane can reach before burning itself out.

-Boulder

No, V’s got a point. Even if it did turn inland, we’ve got the Appalachian Mountains between us and that storm. It’ll probably lose all of its energy going over them that it’ll devolve into a harmless snowstorm before it’d hit. 

Then again, better safe than sorry. 

-Orion

Uh, guys? Why is J blue screening?

-Hot Rod

Has her OS been that unstable since we’ve got here? Biscuits and gravy, I shouldn’t have yelled at her yesterday…

-N

No, you did the right thing. It was time you stood up to that corporate simp after letting her trample all over you for… however long you’ve been online.

-Uzi

…

If you say so, Uzi…