I found some old draft snippets in my email from Sleight of Hand, and I thought I'd share a first draft/final draft comparison of one. I like a first draft/final draft because a lot of times for me writing feels like trying to squeeze words through the cracks in a wall of toxic perfectionism. Seeing the progression from first to final helps remind me it doesn't have to be good the first try. And I like this one in particular because you can see the bones of the final in the first, but it's soooo clearly worse. (Snippets have some mentions of dicks.)
FIRST DRAFT
He wishes he could say he was just impressed. That what he was feeling was- Admiration. For Eddie's talent. But he's not a fucking idiot. He's horny for him. He wants to put his mouth on him. He wants to- He doesn't know what he wants. To touch his dick? He tries on the thought and thinks, maybe... He doesn't know exactly, but he definitely wants to kiss him. He wants to unpeel Eddie from his clothes and run his hands all over his skin. Find every tattoo, every scar. After that he doesn't know. He isn't sure. But that's enough to know that he- Definitely wants to be more than Eddie's friend.Â
FINAL DRAFT
Steve wishes he could say he was just impressed. That what he was feeling was admiration. For Eddie’s talent. But Eddie’s not just amazing. He’s hot. Like one of the hottest things Steve has ever seen. And not just objectively hot. He’s fucking hot in a way that’s making Steve’s dick hard. There’s something about getting hard for somebody that brings a stark clarity to the confusing things you’ve been feeling.Â
So yeah, no shit, you’ve been feeling nervous around him. But it’s the kind of nervous that you get when you have a crush on someone, you dumb fuck. And no, you haven’t been having random weird thoughts that come from nowhere and mean nothing. You’re horny for him, and you have been for a while. And the reason you keep thinking he’s going to kiss you is because you want him to fucking kiss you.
You total moron.
He does. Steve wants to kiss him. And he wants more than that. He wants those clever, talented fingers all over him. He wants to get Eddie out of his clothes and find every tattoo, every scar with his hands. He wants his dick in Eddie’s mouth. Fuck, he wants it bad. Does he want to suck Eddie off though? Get right up in another guy’s dick? He can feel the knee-jerk no, but he forces himself to really try the thought on and thinks- Maybe. He doesn’t know what all he wants exactly. He doesn’t know what all guys do together. He just wants to dive headfirst into Eddie’s everything, and figure out the rest later.Â
