It’s been about 2,5 years since I posted here. I’m now 25 years old, wow. This blog is like a time machine!

Why am I back here? Long story short: I want to start over. I miss the gym. I even missed feeling the soreness throughout my entire body. 

My first try at this must have looked quite successful from the outside, I was making great progress in the gym and it was showing. In the end, I was fooling everyone but myself. I might say I was obsessed and even had anxiety about working out enough and eating the right foods. 

As I went into my graduation year I couldn’t find the time to work out as much, and I’m actually glad I had to ‘let go’. I gained some fat back and I was happier because the pressure was gone. If this was about health at all, I should not have left out the mental health part of this deal. 

After graduation I didn’t go back. I worked hard so I could make a living for myself as a photographer. I burned out from it, again from pressuring myself so much (we can call it a recurring problem...), so I went to seek help and started really working on myself and my mental health.

Now, I feel like I’m ready for the next step. Before, I was also afraid to go back to fitness because I might fall right back into that negative spiral full of ‘never good enough’. Now, I choose to work out because it makes me feel good, instead of just making me look good. 

Barely. I've started my 40 hour a week internship job for my graduation project. Next to that, I still have 1-3 photography jobs a week, so every waking moment that I'm not working on my graduation project, I work on photo's and e-mailing clients and whatnot. It's SO FREAKING BUSY.

I have been slacking so bad with working out and eating right. I need to seriously get back on track. I've gained weight and I don't look as good as I did two months ago. I'm taking it slow and getting back to running, since that is easier to fit into my schedule than a lifting session in the gym.