#firis t

As he made his way to the castle, he bumped into Idium. He chuckled and raised a brow at his mentor. “Going my way?” Firis asked with a cheeky grin.

“Good morning to you too Firis,“ Idium said and laughed softly. “But to answer your question, yes. I...would like to speak with Queen Crystalia one more time before the five of us gather and then head on our separate journeys,” he said. 

“Ah, delightful, our reasons are similar then!“ Firis noted. “For me it is the dear master of ceremonies, Mazella, I wish to see and speak with,“ he explained and placed his hands behind his back. “I will understand if she can not spare the time, but...I can hope, no?“

“We can both hope Firis, for who is to say Queen Crystalia can spare a moment or two for me as well,” Idium mused. Firis chuckled once more, he could see the shy hopefulness hiding in his mentor’s eyes. It was nice to see him to be a little uncertain for once. In a weird way of course. 

They made their way to the grand hall and, to Firis’s initial delight, Mazella was indeed at her little table like she mentioned she might be. However, once they got closer to her, and Firis noticed how she looked he softly frowned. He quickly closed the gap to the table and leaned over the table to get close to her face. His frown grew as he gently took her face in his hands. “You look absolutely drained! Did you even sleep last night my dear master of ceremonies?”

Mazella was a bit started by the mage’s sudden appearance in her face, she had been more “focused” on her cards, and him gently taking her face in his hands. Which were softer than she expected them to be, she wasn’t sure why she did not notice that last night but, that wasn’t the point right now. “Please don’t frown,” she found herself saying first, surprising herself a little. “I do what is needed of me, Firis. It’s okay, I’ll be fine. I’ve bounced back from worse,” she said.

Firis’s frown did not leave and even Idium seemed a bit skeptical. Firis, however, had the advantage of knowing more from the things Mazella had shared with him the previous night. “Before I speak with you further Mazella, where can Idium find Queen Crystalia?”

“She is...actually, give me a moment,“ Mazella said and then took Firis’s hands off of her face so she could grab her cards. She pulled out one of them and enchanted it. With in a few moments she could see her queen’s face. “High Queen Crystalia? One of our guests from last night, the mage Idium, wishes to see you.“

No sooner than Mazella had finished speaking, the queen disappeared from her sight, and was soon reappearing in the entrance hall with them in a flurry of snowflakes. Idium could not help but bow in her presence. Firis also took a moment to bow as well before he focused back on Mazella. “Idium...” the queen said softly. Her nephew’s words, were starting to play through her mind again. Although she was sober now and could think with a clearer mind, it just meant she could not deny the connection she had felt between herself and Idium last night. She then held out her hand to him. “Let us...talk in the gardens,” she said. Idium stood straight and took her hand.

“After you, Queen Crystalia,” he said softly in return. Mazella watched them leave, and though she cleared the image in the card, she kept it activated. Although she doubted Idium would cause trouble, she wanted to be alerted just in case. However, the ‘gatekeeper’ of the grand castle was startled once more as Firis’s hands returned to gently cup her face. When she focused on him once more his frown was still present.

“Your devotion is admirable, and I know you say it is in your nature,“ he began quietly. “But it would be such a shame if you burn out your light because of it, or become a falling star to make someone else’s wish come true. Mazella, forgive me for saying this, but the thought of that happening to you just makes me sad and upset.”

Mazella glanced to the side and made a non-committal sound. “We just met last night. You should not be worrying about me. I told you, I-”

“But you were the highlight of my night, my dear master of ceremonies!“ he interrupted in protest. “If us just meeting was indeed so trivial...then why did you share with me what you did, hm? Why were you comfortable sharing things you would not want others to know you said?“ he asked. “Why can’t I care already? Am I really just another guest among hundreds across so many events? Or are you not used to a guest actually wanting your time instead of one of the queens? Tell me honestly Mazella.“

She stayed silent for the moment, a little stunned by his words. She wasn’t sure what to say at the moment. After another moment or two she heard Firis sigh as he took his hands away. She glanced at him to see he had taken a thinking pose instead and was looking more at the ground than at her. “Firis...”

“No...it’s okay. I am a simple mage doing my own thing, while you are here doing important work. I should not have asked those questions, or indirectly accuse you of being...” he trailed off and shook his head as he let his arms hang back at his sides. “Your time and your duties are valuable, and important, and I should not be infringing on them,“ he ended up saying. “Again forgive me, master Mazella. May the rest of your day find you better than right now,“ he added and turned to leave. 

Something about the situation, about the things he just said suddenly gave her a sense of dread. As he started to walk away it hit her. It was reminding her of the night Lula had left the castle before her grand ball to ‘take care of something’. How she felt her concerns and trust were being pushed aside and had begun to question her queen, but then stopped herself. Her mind then thought of everything that happened afterwards, and understood why she was now feeling this dread. 

But in this situation Firis was in her place in a way, and she was being similar Queen Lula. There were crossovers, but in the end she started to fear that something bad was going to happen to him if they parted ways on this...sour note. She stood and leaned over her little table to catch his arm. “Firis wait. I should...apologize. I should not take for granted that you care even though we just met. I...rather people not worry about me regardless if there is valid reason to do so. The queens are the most important ones and I see myself as beneath them. That I should not matter as much as them as they are the hopes of the kingdom. I just do what I can to ensure their safety and that any event they throw goes well and to their expectations. I...I don’t expect anyone to see me as anything more than just another person with their duties to fulfill here in the castle,” she explained. 

Firis turned to look at her with a slightly saddened expression. Why did she value herself so little? Could she not see the bright light she had? Does it look dim to her or was she dimming it on purpose? He was confused. He then walked around the table so she did not have to lean over it. “Between last night and today...you make it sound like you should not matter at all as a person, and I just can’t agree to that. Mazella the person should matter just as much as Mazella the master of ceremonies, or Mazella the...gatekeeper/protector. You may not be a queen but that doesn’t mean people can’t care about you too,” he said and placed his free hand on her cheek. “It should not mean you run yourself into nothingness, and I don’t think the queens would want that either. I don’t want that to happen.”

“If I, as a person, could not make any more mistakes...maybe I‘d be more accepting of that,” she said a bit sadly. “I am trying to learn from my mistakes but...I wonder if I really am,“ she said softly. She knew her training with Alvara was making some progress, but was it really good enough? Was it fast enough? Why was she starting to feel like a disappointment? Mazella sighed in slight frustration.

Firis leaned in to kiss her cheek and then nuzzled it a moment before leaning back. Mazella looked at him a bit wide eyed, but he looked like what he just did was an absolutely normal thing to do. “Do not let the knowledge of your mistakes hold you down. They are making you doubt yourself. You deserve to shine like you are meant to and do not give up on bettering yourself. Do not overdo it and I believe you will be fine,” he said gently. “It may not mean much coming from me but I care and believe that you can find your balance,” he added and smiled warmly at her.

Mazella let go of his arm and shortly after he took his hand off her cheek and stepped back. “You are...certainly different,” she said a bit speechlessly. He lightly chuckled and adjusted his monocle. She placed her hand on the cheek he kissed.

“I am me, Mazella. Nothing more, nothing less,“ he said and winked. “And I am certain I have taken up too much of your time now. I want to write to you from time to time while I’m on my travels. Is that...permissible?“

“I should start paying attention again, that is true, but...thank you. Just...thank you. And...please do write...it would be nice to have something so simple to...look forward to.“

While this was happening with Mazella and Firis, Queen Crystalia and Idium were having their own conversation.

The queen had led Idium to one of her favorite parts of the vast gardens. Perhaps it was in part because this section had some of the flowers native to the North that her father had planted here long ago. They always seemed to look pretty with a light dusting of snow too. There was a bench by a small frozen fountain that she led him to and sat down gracefully. She then patted the space next to her and waited for him to join her before she spoke. 

“Idium…I...forgive me for seeming indelicate and forward right now but...am I alone in feeling a connection between us?“

Idium blinked at the question. He was not expecting this, or as she said, her forwardness in asking. However, he also could not deny that he was happy that she asked. “No, you are not alone in that feeling Queen Crystalia. If I am honest, I was hoping that I was not wrong in that feeling. However, at the same time I also thought I was being foolish. You are one of the High Queens of the Light Kingdom, after all. I am not a noble or anything of high standing so I felt I should not be expecting much except a kind and gracious welcome and small talk,“ he said as he interlaced his hands in his lap. “But the conversations we had and the time we spent in each other company at the ball, did feel more than that to me. Of course, part of me was also trying to rationalize it as just my previous idolization of you making me feel that way.”

“Status does not matter that much to me, although there are those who feel it should matter to me,“ Crystalia said. “However, it did not matter to my father. If it did...I would not be here today. My mother was a simple woman blessed with healing magic, a kind and compassionate heart, and a wise mind. Sure, there were those that were disappointed with his choice of her, but he cared not for she was what his heart wanted. Their love was true,“ she said and then sighed softly. “How I miss them...“

“I am sorry, I did not mean to bring up bittersweet memories,“ Idium said and looked down. Crystalia shook her head and make him look at her again.

“Do not apologize. I will never shy away from talking about how my parents loved each other. A love like theirs was something I looked up to, that I had hoped one day I would experience for myself. Some would say it was foolish of me to hold onto that hope. Some even now would still say that, citing that I am the only of the High Queens to still be unmarried,“ she said and turned her gaze to the flowers. 

Idium followed her gaze to the flowers as he thought over the things she was saying. He was similar to her. He too once believed in finding a true love to call his own. Despite being what he was, and how some viewed his kind...he had still had those hopes in his younger years...

“I thought I had found it once-“ they both started to say in unison but stopped and looked at each other. They both waited a moment to see if the other would continue. “They were not what they seemed at first.“ they ended up finishing in unison. They blinked and looked away from each other and at the flowers again.

“Seff and his brothers were the first to see it, however. The first to know more, to hear more of his true nature,“ Crystalia began to explain and sighed. “I...almost fought them over it, figuratively. I was blind to the true nature of that man, but...in the end I saw a hint of it myself and trusted their judgement. I...never tried looking for love again after that...“ she finished and then trailed off. Although she could have mentioned an occasion before that, she would never bring up her silly and brief teenaged crush of Seff. She could tell early enough, so she could squash it down, that she wasn’t exactly his type. Though on occasion back then she still wondered what it would be like, but she figured that she probably would end up unintentionally annoying him to the point they’d be ex’s instead.

“She...seemed so interested in me, and what I was trying to do. Liked to watch me work and ask questions to figure out why I would do certain things. She would sometimes bring me books she thought would be helpful. It was so...kind and cute...“ he trailed off and covered his left, and lighter colored, eye for a moment. He then lowered his hand and sighed before he continued speaking. “I was blind to her true reasons of interest in me until it was too late. If I had realized she was only looking to use my talents for her own gains sooner...well...the naive mistakes of a younger man I suppose. I had my own hopes diminished after that.“

Idium then summoned a couple crystals to float in the air in front of him. Two blue ones, a purple one, a yellow one, a pink one and a clear one. With a little concentration, and a light snap of his fingers, they glowed for a moment before they started to transform. After a minute or so they came together to form a little bouquet of crystalline flowers in front of the queen. 

Crystalia tentatively reached out to take them. They were lighter than she thought they would be. Although, she wasn’t sure why she thought they would be heavier. She brought them to her chest and looked at Idium. He looked at her and there was something unspoken between them. She blushed slightly and looked down at the flowers again. “I know you are set to travel once more after we are done talking but...please do not let too much time pass before you come this way again. I also implore you to be careful, and be safe on your journey,” she said softly. 

Firis was almost certain that Anorim was already gone for the night. He knew Idium was conversing with Queen Crystalia again. Or was it still? Either way, it did seem as if they were enjoying each other’s company. That was delightful! Lami looked to be chatting excitedly with the...Diamond Queen, if Firis remembered correctly. And Tavia? Well, he wasn’t sure. She had disappeared since he last saw her. However, Firis knew that she could take care of herself. 

Sooo...In theory, that meant it would be alright and acceptable to follow his own whims tonight. And for Firis, that simply meant seeing if he could spend some more time with the dear master of ceremonies, Mazella. Their dance had been only a little off step, but certainly enjoyable. 

But alas, she had to tend to her duties after that. 

Every time he was able to get a glimpse of her after that, it seemed she was busy. Ah but, how gracious she looked...it was admirable to him. However, now he potentially had a chance to spend a longer period of time in her company. There seemed to be a playful and random element to her magic aura that fascinated him. Especially since her general demeaner and behavior seemed to contradict that very nature. 

It was just one of the various reasons he wanted to get to know Mazella more.

He began to move around, easily slipping passed some of the remaining groups of people to try and find her. He was mindful, and oh so careful, not to get his dress caught or stepped on. It simply would not do! A mage like himself had to always be presentable. Tears, or snags, or dishevelment had to be avoided, or fixed as soon as possible. Perhaps it was slightly vain, but he did want to look his best to make good impressions. And he simply could not allow himself to appear before such a sharply dressed woman if he, himself, was not presenting his best appearance.

After a little bit of wandering he spotted her. She seemed to be talking to other denizens of the castle, perhaps already starting to organize the clean up efforts. Firis waited until she was done, and the others had left, to approach her. Once more he curtsied slightly before adopting a thinking pose. “I wonder, dear master of ceremonies, if I could perhaps ask for a little more of your time?”

Mazella looked at him with a brow slightly raised. She wasn't surprised, per say, but she supposed it was more that she was unused to someone asking for her time this way. “Well...Firis, it will still be a little bit before I have to get started with my other responsibilities that come with the ball being done so...I suppose it’s fine,” she answered. Firis clapped his hands together and smiled.

“Ah, thank you! This is very good!” he said and placed his hands behind his back. “So, I heard mention of guest houses? I wonder if it would be too much to ask, Mazella, if you could show me where those are? I’m not quite ready to retire for the night but it would be helpful to know.”

“Oh, certainly. They are not too hard to find, but sometimes the leaving from here can be disorienting,” Mazella said. “Follow me.“

She began to lead him, as requested. She did not think much of it, even when he started to compliment the event and how smoothly things went, and how organized and decorated it was. She merely said that while she had her part in things, there were quite a few others that helped make the Winter Ball what it was tonight. She could not take so much credit for it. And it was High Queen Crystalia’s event after all, and Mazella would do anything for her queens.

When the guest houses came in view, Mazella pointed them out. Firis nodded and thanked her before stopping and looking up at the night sky instead. “Mazella? What do you think of the stars?” he asked, seemingly out of nowhere. 

She stopped walking and looked back to see he was a fair few steps behind. She tilted her head slightly when she saw him stopped and looking up at the sky. “I don’t...have much of an opinion on them. I...don’t really look at the stars,” she answered honestly. Firis hmm’d at her answer but did not look at her. 

“They’re very beautiful tonight. The winter constellations are my favorite. But~ Some of the ones I can see from home I can’t see here,” he said and chuckled a little. “You should look. There is something about the twinkling of them that is...calming. Inspiration inducing even!“ he said and then looked at her a moment before motioning her over to him. 

Mazella walked over to him and looked upward. There were a lot of stars out tonight, and she had to admit he was right. There was a certain beauty to them that she never really thought about before. Firis smiled and looked back up at the stars himself. 

“You seem like a very responsible and trust worthy person Mazella,“ he said softly. “And yet...it also seems like you fight your own nature sometimes. Perhaps you don’t act on some of the whims you have, hm?” he ventured. 

“My nature...is to serve my queens, to help and protect them as best I can,“ she said. “Even if it means laying down my own life to do so. Following any fleeting whims I may or may not have would be going against that.“

“Admirable, but how would they feel hearing you say that?“ he responded. “Besides our dance...did you really do anything that was just for fun? To enjoy yourself?“

“They know how deep my devotion runs,“ Mazella said as she placed a hand over her heart and looked down, and away from the stars and Firis. “And how much I try. They...they understand. However...” she paused and sighed as she lowered her hand and looked back up at the stars. “I...believe the High Kings find me lacking, still. I am trying to meet their standards, their high expectations...but I’m falling short. I-I just know it.”

Firis sighed slightly, he could feel the conflict in her aura as she spoke. However, he was happy that she seemed to be speaking freely with him. But it was a bit bittersweet considering the nature of what he was learning. “My dear master of ceremonies, I feel as if you have also placed your own expectations quite high. It is okay to try to shine like a these lovely starts above us, but not to burn out and lose your light forever. You are already quite radiant, but why overshadow the parts of you that...hmmm how to say this right?“ Firis paused and began to tap his cheek in thought. “Well, let me be to the point, I feel a playfulness and random nature to your magic. Yet it’s like your actively pushing against it. Why? It feels delightful.”

“I can’t afford anymore mistakes,” she answered simply. She then looked down from the sky and towards the castle. “I...should be heading back inside. Firis...you seem to be a good man, a bit inquisitive and quirky, but I feel like I can trust you not to repeat anything I’ve said to anyone if I were to ask you to, correct?” she said. Firis looked down from the sky himself and looked at her. He adjusted his monocle a moment and then nodded. 

“Our conversation is just that, Mazella. Our conversation. I do wish we could speak for longer, however, I understand. You have duties to tend to, and I’ve kept you long enough. I am quite glad that you think positively of me as well, so I can be content with that, at least,” he said and then smiled a bit somberly. He turned towards the guest houses and placed his hands behind his back. “Mazella?“

“Yes?“

“Do you mind if I ask in advance for more of your time? I would like to see you one more time before my fellow mages and I begin our varied travels in the morning.“

“I guard the grand hallway entrance of the castle. I have a little station there. I may or may not be there if you come looking. It depends on what is needed of me tomorrow.“