I fucking hate fireworks, they're loud and bright and they scare me so so so much I hate this stupid holiday so much.

I'm not even crying from fear, I'm crying about how I keep flinching and how much adrenaline is running through me from all the fire works.

I hate fire. I'm terrified of fireworks and fire after some rough experiences in the past. I hate this holiday I hate it I hate it Ihate it I hate it.

but it's also sad because everyone else is out there enjoying themselves while I'm curled up in a ball trying (and failing) not to flinch from every bang and every noise and flash.