Here is the chapter preview forAs I Want You, I Will Make That HappenI hopw that you all enjoy it! and the full chapter will be up on Wednesday!
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Scott quickly shuts the book and rushes over to Avid’s side. “Avid it is okay, I’m here-”
As Scott spoke Avid quickly got up and jumps to pin the vampire on the ground. “I- I killed you! How are you still here? Your blood is on my hands Elle!”
Scott realizing that Avid hasn’t woken up completely stays calm. Avid can’t hurt him in the state that he is in. He doesn’t have a weapon on him. “Avid, my hunter, my alchemist, do you see any blood on me?”
Avid looks around in his pocket to try and find an object that doesn’t exist. “Where is my stake?”
“You came here with no weapons.” Scott sighs realizing that he will most likely have to thrall the little hunter out of this mental state.
“Like I would ever leave without-”
“Avid, look at me.” Scott begins the thrall process as Avid looks right into Scott’s eyes. “You are safe, you know that I won’t hurt you, or let anyone else do that. We all make mistakes. Please my alchemist, forgive yourself.”
“I should, forgive myself?” Avid sounds as if he is in a trance. He relaxes his grip on Scott as he has tears running down his face.
“Song drop, let me help you.” Scott pulls Avid down and holds him tightly.
“I’m a monster. Elle... I should have just let her attack me. I should have just joined her.”
Scott runs his hand down Avid’s back. “You are human Song Drop. You are not a monster. I am a monster.”
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I am running out of time, the analog clock that is no longer there from my school years ticks in my head. Running out of time for what? I wouldn’t be able to tell as I don’t know much my self.
tick-tock
Some sense of urgency and dread fills my head as being unable to determine why I am in such a rush. I don’t have a dead line and my school years are far behind me and yet, I still hear that clock in the background.
“Hey, you doing okay?” Their voice rings in my ears. I jump and look around as the clock fall silent.
Locking eyes with them seems to put my body at ease. Why was I panicking again? “You’re here?” Is all I manage to say as the disbelief of silence from my head sets in.
“Of course, I am always here. Not going anywhere. I am here for you.”
I take a deep breath. What am I thinking that I am running out of time for? If they are here, then I have all the time in the world. I inhale and then let out a calming breath as things feel better.
Watching Phoenix walk off following the random spirit guiding him into the forest isn't what makes me nervous. No, it is the fact that I am having an issue feeling a connection with him. If he doesn't come out in time- I don't want to think about it.
“Lucinda?” Olive’s voice sounds next to me as I jump slightly looking at the alchemist that has called to me.
“Y- yes?” I quickly look around responding to Olive as my uneasy feeling starts to dissipate. His presence around me has always put me at easy.
“He’ll be okay.” The words Olive says seem to be more for himself yet they continue to make me feel more at ease.
“Right, he has to be. The little Allium is strong. I know that he is.”
“Who is strong?” I hear Corvus’s voice as it slowly flies down into my lap on the chair that I am waiting on for the hunters to return.
“You are, obviously Corvus.” I pat its head as it seems to lean into my hand. “Hey, I do have a question. How in tune with other avian races are you?”
“Phee is alive. Don’t worry about it. He trusts you.” The small bird responds to the question that I didn’t ask out loud.
The bird trusting me is what I worry about. What if I make a suggestion and it is something he doesn’t actually want to do? What if I hurt him? That is the last thing that I would ever want to do.
“Lucinda?” Olive places his hand on my shoulders as I look up at them. “Inhale, hold it, exhale.”
They continue to walk me through these exercises as I calm down some. They are both right. Phee will make it through. I didn’t send him anywhere dangerous. He is safe as long as he doesn’t give out his name.
After a few hours people start heading back to me with their game. None of them ever come back with anything close to what I had requested. Most people came back empty handed but there were three noble men that showed up with their prey.
One of them shows up with an elk that seems to have been a difficult capture where it has been damaged minimally. This is honestly what I was expecting. No one actually would listen to what I requests. I will refuse to give myself to some one that doesn’t respect me enough. “This, isn’t even a fox.” Is all I say at the noble that presented the elk to me as I sound un-amused.
“This is the best that you will get. You won’t see a better game then this. You know that you will have to make a choice with whoever gives a result. Look that noble man isn’t here that you seemed to know. Maybe he has run away.” The man’s voice sounds rough and condescending.
I feel my body tense up and as rage sets in. How dare this man that knows nothing about Phoenix say something like that. I recognize this man. He is a high ranking noble in my court, Acelin Riverwood. But I have to be calm and not react. I feel Olive place his hand on my shoulder which relaxes me.
“See this is something that you can’t have after you get married.” Acelin gestures at the bird and my tinkerer that have been with me. “You will have a husband you have to serve it would be an embarrassment to see you around other men. So take this time to say goodbye to them.”
I internally feel revolted by this man in front of me. I feel my face wanting to tense up in discuses that he would ever say something like that to me. Yet I keep it flat and un-moving. “Yes, thank you for your opinion. I will take your recommendation and file it a way for later.” I close my eyes tilting my head to the side having my hair fall down cascading in the direction that I leaned.
I open my eyes and see him reach out to my face as I tense up seeing how I am being treated as an object and am not allowed to react.
Olive grabs his wrist and twists it. “Sorry my lord, but if you continue with this interaction, I will disqualify you from the tournament.”
“You are not a noble man and have no qualification to being with her. I provided the best game here and you can’t tell me that the ask that she made was unreasonable.” Acelin, who is in front of us seems to be getting rather annoyed with the interaction going on.
I give off a strained smile to him as I have to stay civil with this man’s revolting presence. “Olive doesn’t need to disqualify you, you may leave. Thank you for your participation. I will not be misgendered and objectified. Have a good day.”
“No, I will not leave, you will put my work into consideration. I have presented you with my game and I should be acknowledged.”
I let out a sigh and look down at the elk and have a feeling of disgust with it. “I have taken your work into consideration and have decided that your game does not qualify as it isn’t even a fox. You were given a task and failed to produce a result. You can either go back out there and come back with the goal when this event ends in ten minutes or you may leave and concede.”
The noble continues to stare me down as he clearly has no intention of leaving. I decide to look away as if I give this man anymore attention then he will take it as a win.
I hear Olive move next to me slightly as if to get my attention. Making eye contact with him I look off to follow the direction he is looking at and I see Phoenix returning from the woods seemingly to be empty handed. Yet, I know better then to think that this man off in the distance ever would do something like that.
Locking eyes with the purple eyed avian I feel my face lighten up as I give him a smile and wave. Phoenix picks up the pace as he seems to have lost his balance making his way to me. I hear some chuckling in the back. as I wave to silence them.
“I see that you’ve returned from your hunt Phee, where is it?” I close my eyes and smile as he looks up.
Opening my eyes back up, I see him looking up at me from the ground as I see a little white fox that seems to glisten in the sun walk out from under his shirt. “My ‘hunt’ was successful my liege.” His voice was quiet and seems like he is almost in pain.
“How long were you out there allium? Time doesn’t run the same in the fae realm.” I hear my question cause gossip to stir with the nobles in the yard.
“Lady Lucinda, clearly this isn’t a victory, I mean, he didn’t kill his prey.” Acelin, the noble that was protesting his disqualification earlier seems to still be trying to interject his own opinions on this matter.
“My lord,” I hear Olive speak up next to me. “this was not a hunt where killing was the way you were supposed to succeed. Unreasonable as narrowing down a specific spirit as it was, you were never supposed to kill a great fae spirit. You were meant to have it bound to you and show proof that they are yours now.”
“What did you name him, Allium?”
“Avery.” His voice seemed quiet as if it was something that he should not speak louder then a whisper.
I give the Avian a smile once again as I get out of my seat to help him up. “We seem to have a winner. Phoenix has retrieved and delivered his hunt successfully. As the only one to do so and retrieve what I had asked for he is the winner for the tournament.”
“Lady Lucinda, that, that man isn’t even a noble! I’ve never seen him before.” I freeze hearing this man’s voice. He doesn’t seem to know when to give up.
“I- I am a noble! Just, just not from around here.” The first sentence that came from him was loud but after his statement the second one seemed quieter.
The man scoffs at the response my bird gives him. “Oh really? Then where are you from?”
I watch as the avian in front of me seems to shut down. I don’t even know his last name. But whatever it is, he seems to not want to actually talk about what had happened before. It seems to make him want to keep his wings bound to other nobles.
“Not relevant, we left this open for everyone. He is the winner and what was reward for winning?”
Silence fills the space between everyone as I stand up and take out one of my rapiers from the side of my chair and watch as the Avian in front of me kneels and looks into my eyes as he presents the fox spirit to me.
The spirit looks right at me as if it was trying to make some kind of decision. I watch as it looks right at Phoenix then back at me moving it’s eyes to my blade.
I slowly bring it down to Phoenix’s shoulder declaring him the winner of the tournament. The small crowed behind him whispered as I chose to ignore it. Their gossip is normal and I just don’t want to even think about the possibility of them fighting back against this choice.
“You will regret this. I will find out what this man is hiding.” The noble man walks off as my eyes follow him and then have them drop down to Phoenix.
He seems frozen in place from what I can assume to be fear. He seems unable to look at me as I can see him slightly shake. Not enough to be visible to the men behind him. But it is enough for me to notice.
I wave off the rest of the crowd as to get Corvus, Olive, Phoenix and me alone. After the people leave I get down on the ground and place my hands on his shoulders seeming to cause him to jump.
“Hey, Allium, it is okay, it is just us. Let’s go somewhere safe, okay.”
So flare was flaring sorry y'all. If I am not too far into brain-fog tomorrow chapters 1-15 will be on ko-fi for paid supporters tomorrow. going to try and upload chapter 11 on time though. I can not actually make a promise as I am experiencing a flare and things are actually physically hard to do.
If recalling what went on in the past was an easy feet I would probably have told Lucinda about everything by now. I recall the day that I was given the command to wipe out my family by the person that I trusted the most.
She was the ruler of the kingdom and I was technically the second son of my family, so I wouldn’t have ever actually inherited anything. Actually the fact that I was not born a son meant that I am not in the line of succession anyways. None of that mattered as long as I had her. She was my best friend and I trusted her with my life. I still recall her name. She had branded it to my heart and I will never forget her.
Faenlys Morningbloom was part of the regal eagle avian race. She ruled over her land with grace and elegance. At least, that is what I was lead to believe. We were childhood friends. She had told me that we’d be friends forever. Forever is a long time but that didn’t matter to me. She was my best friend and I decided that I could never live without her.
“Hey my morning glory. Why do you look so sad? Come over, don’t be sad, you’ll make me sad.” Her voice sounded as if it was a bell and my wings flapped slightly to her nickname for me.
I made my way over to her as she reached out over to me and pulled me in. “I will be fine. Just family issues. Nothing new Lyssie.”
“Awe, Morning Glory, you are always having problems with them.” She pat my head as she seems to have tried to comfort me.
“Oh, it is just normal family drama. Not anything new. They think I should find someone that can afford me. But that is crazy, because I have you, right? Who would I need besides you?” Those words that I said then, I regret with everything as I recall her smile and lifting up my chin to gaze into her orange eyes as her black hair fell down seeming to be a cascade of waves.
“That is right, you don’t need anyone else.” Her voice sounded as if she sung to my inner desires. “I am all you will ever need. Stay here for a moment while I get something for you.”
I stayed still as the order went through me and I watched as she walked off into the distance to retrieve the item that she had desired to give to me. It was a golden deer horn sharpened to look as if it was made to attack. I held it in my hand as I admired the craftsmanship of the weapon.
“Kill them.” Her voice sounded as if it were music. Words that should not sound that way. An order that I know I should not take. “You don’t need them anyways, kill them morning glory. Wipe out the Meadowtalon family. Make it so you are the only one left.”
I desperately tried to fight back that order. That under any circumstances is something that I never should follow. Yet, resisting it was driving me mad. “Lyssie, they might hurt me sometimes, but I don’t think they should die. I know, why don’t I just leave the nest and stay with you. I- I can’t kill them Lyssie, please don’t make me.”
She grabbed on to one of my wings as she pulled it down and caused me to drop to the ground causing me to loss my balance. “Are you disobeying me Morning Glory?” Faenlys bends down and plucked clump feathers out of my wing yanking the still attached feathers out from my body, sending wave of pain through it. “Funny, I thought that you weren’t supposed to question orders. Don’t worry, I’ll change that. I’ll make sure that you can only listen. You will do what I say, right? If not, I will do it myself, and you wouldn’t want blood or your Lyssie’s hands right?”
I continued to try and resist the order she keeps giving. “I- of course not, but they are my family and I still- they- I still love them it is just a normal family spat. I am sure they will move past it and we can be together.”
“You are supposed to listen to what I tell you.” She is clearly getting more frustrated with the situation and raised her voice. “Do you not trust me enough, is that it?” She bends down and gently rubs the wing that she had injured. I feel her touching where the feathers are missing as warmth seems to drip from that spot. “I need blind obedience. Is that too much to ask? Remember Lyssie is all that you need. You don’t need your family. You only need me. I want you to listen to the only person that you will ever need blindly and not question me.”
With that I had blacked out and woken back up chained in Faenlys’ room. I looked at my hands hands seeming to be covered in blood. The horror sat in with what I had done. “I- my family. My nest- they- I killed them under her orders.”
We only needed her anyways, just like she said. The voice rang into my ears as I frantically looked around.
“No they were our family. They were still blood.” I responded to the voice that spoke to me.
After a few minutes of silence I started to become restless again. “Lyssie? Where are you? I- I didn’t want this! Let me out!” I shouted out to the empty room as the door opened.
“Oh you are finally up. Welcome back to the world of the living Morning Glory!” Her voice swung as she walked up to me and wrapped her arms around me.
“I didn’t want to do that!” I tried to push her off of me as she clung on. “Why did- why would you make me do that. That was my family. It wasn’t perfect but I-”
“A dead man is not someone that can resist orders ever right?” She stepped away as she looks into my eyes that I can feel fear set into. “The entire Meadowtalon family, including yourself, has been pronounced dead. You are mine, right? An obedient bird, right?”
“Fuck off.” I felt a bond from her break as disgust runs through every fiber of my being, and I know that she felt it too as she looked at me as her eyes seemed to widen.
I watched as she broke down laughing maniacally in front of me. Maybe she was under some kind of spell? Not that I ever would have known. “Of course that would happen. I should have known!” She grabbed the chains that kept me bound, and yanked me up. “I thought that I was all you needed. Even though you never wanted to get into a political marriage I thought that your Lyssie was all you ever needed.”
“You are not, my Lyssie.” I tried to yank away from her as she pulls me closer.
A soft almost whisper came out of her mouth. “Don’t be like that Morning Gl-”
“Fuck, don’t call me that! I trusted you. I- I- I didn’t, didn’t want to do thhhhat. But you, you still made me. You- you pushed me to do something I really didn’t want to do. My Lyssie never would- she never would have done that. I don’t even know who you are. I hate you.”
“You can hate me, try to leave. But at the end of the day, you are still a dead man and you are mine.” She unlocks my chains and walked off to her door. “Stay in here Morning Glory. You are and have always been my pet. Don’t forget that. If you leave, I will hunt you down until you are back.”
Before I do anything else I am going to proof read chapter 10 for everyone and schedule the post so it actually comes out on time. Thank you all for your patience on when this is uploaded. Chapters 11-15 will be uploaded to ko-fi for my supporters next Saturday. Hope that you all enjoyed this chapter.
As I draw back my bow shaking unable to keep the arrow still I feel a hand gently place down on my shoulders. The warmth of their contact envelops me as I let out a sigh desperately clinging on to some type of hope.
“W- what- what if I miss?” I in almost a whisper to the person behind me as the buck I have my sight latched on grazes the almost endless grass in the forest.
“Then you try again.” I feel their hand move from my shoulder down to my back as they calm down my nerves with a circular motion bringing comfort.
“What if I miss every time? What if I never can do it?” My voice cracks as I relax the bow as I move my eyes downward.
“Have you missed target you ever shot at?” Their voice sings in my ear almost as if it was a soothing bell.
“No- but what if I do now? E- Everyone is counting on me. I missed last time.”
I hear their hum in my ear as I drop my shoulders slightly and they speak up once again. “That was last time. Now it is this time. We all miss every now and then. But eventually if we keep trying, we will get it.”
“Will people be disappointed if I can’t do it?” My voice trembles with that question as I fear an answer that is not what comes out from their lips.
“We all have things we are good at, and some things that we are not. However, I have seen you shoot before, I know you can do it.”
I let out an exhale as I ready my bow again. They are right I can do this. I have before and I can do so again.
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Relaxing in the building after having my wings preened by Lu feels very nice. I feel a wave of safety wash over me as I sit in Olive’s lab as I think back on the feeling of xer fingers brushing through my wings. It was a very nice bonding exercise. Surprisingly, for a non-avian race, xe was pretty good at it the first time. The motions had caused my mind to drift off.
“Phee, are you listening to me?” Olive’s voice sounds as it snaps me back into reality.
“Sorry, what were you saying?” I didn’t mean for my mind to wonder off, it just happened.
“I told you what Lucinda was going to have everyone hunt and how to find it. I asked if you had the capability to find the animal without any kind of tool. Were you listening?” Olive’s voice sounds harsh. Almost as if he is disappointed in what I didn’t do.
“No sorry olive, what am I going to be hunting again?” I feel the involuntary droop of my wings as I look into the tinkers eyes that seem to relax at my natural movements.
“Okay, it is fine. I can tell you again. Are you ready, hun?”
***
“I am here hope that you are all ready for your hunt.” Lucinda’s voice sounds to the crowed interrupting my train of thought.
I look up and see xem sitting on some kind of throne that happens to be there to oversee the even. I notice that as xe talks the nobles and hunters around us get quiet.
“This is a tournament open to anyone to join as we have stated about a week prior. Today’s hunt is going to be a hard creature to find and only someone that the creature deems worthy can find it and bring it home. The animal is a snow fox spirit.”
I can hear the complaint about how unreasonable the request is from the nobles and hunters around me. I too might have thought of this as an unreasonable task if I wasn’t informed how to find them.
“To take the hand of a fae realistically you need to present something from their realm. It isn’t unreasonable when Lucinda hand for marriage is on the table to demand that in the hunt.” Olive’s words echoes through my head from what they had told me prior. “No matter what you do, don’t every give any of them your name. Not even the shortened version of it. They can control you that way.”
Lucinda seem to wait for everyone to calm down before xe continues. “You are all welcome to drop out if you find the request of the hunt unreasonable. Just remember who you are proposing to with your game.” Xe leans back slightly and puts xer hand out to seem to be getting ready to signal the start of the hunt as xe locks eyes with me. “You all may begin.”
As all the hunters seem to disperse I stand and look at the mystical isles ruler that sits on the throne seeming to gaze at me. Xe smiles and waves at me I see xer lips move but can not tell what is being said. I curse these eyes and not being able to see clearly.
I do notice as xe puts a finger to xer lips as there seems to be a sparkle around them that takes off into the forest. I need access to xer realm. I know that fallowing that unknown thing could be dangerous as everything with the fae are. But that might be my only shot to getting what Lu requested.
Walking off in the direction that the sparkles move off to follow them, I have a smaller avian fall on my head. “Do you want to help me with the hunt little avian?” The words escape my mouth as if the request to not out my own name applies to Corvus. Even if it is him, something is stopping me from doing so.
“It could be fun.” Corvus pauses briefly before continuing. “Why are your wings hidden? Are you not proud of your lineage. You’re a larger Avian race, means that you must have had some kind of power before coming here, right?”
Corvus’s words stop me in place. “My wings can get the people I care about killed. I won’t- I can’t do that again.” This is a fact that I had told it prior. The fact that it doesn’t know why seems to rub me the wrong way.
“What are we hunting for...” The way Corvus’s voice trails off implies that he doesn’t know my name and wants me to finish it’s sentence.
Don’t ever give out your name. Olive’s voice rings in my head as a command from someone that I trust. I can not give out this info to the person talking to me. That is the order.
I take the bird off my head and hold him in my hands as I start back up my journey deeper into the forest. “Allium, but you knew that already, right my little humming bird?”
I watch as the Corvus look a like pouts and casts his gaze down. “Of course I knew. I- I just was pausing for a little bit Allium.” It looks dejected as if it can tell that I didn’t give him my real name. “What are we hunting for, this forest is part of the forest is home exclusively to fae, do we have to kill it?”
“Do you know if the offering from the hunt has to be killed when presented to royalty?” The traditions of this place seem to confuse me. I honestly have no idea.
“That depends, what is the end result, what do you get from completing the hunt?” Corvus flies out of my hand and flutters around me as if it was starting to lead me somewhere else.
“If I am successful I can allow xem to stay free. Everyone else would be a political marriage candidate.”
“So you don’t want to marry a royal? what kind of noble doesn’t want ties into a royal family?”
I freeze in my tracks. How how does it know that about me? I am a noble yes, but I never told anyone that. More of, I was a noble. I was abducted and made to wipe out everyone. I have only recently been able to break free from that person’s control. “Cor- My little humming bird didn’t know that. Who are you?”
“I could be a friend if you tell me if you plan on killing anything that you are hunting.”
“If it has to decide if I am worthy then no, I do not plan on killing the creature. The goal is to bring it home.” I feel as if I should try and not lie completely to this creature in front of me.
“Oh, okay, so what are we hunting then Allium?” The avian flies off in a random direction asking me the question as I follow it.
“Snow fox spirit. Do you know how I can find one?” As I continue to follow the bird it stops and turns to me.
“Why would the royal specifically request m- a snow fox spirit as the hunt choice?” It’s voice gets hire as it no longer seems to be trying to pretend to be my friend that I care for.
“I have no idea honestly.” I press forward hopping that I can find a hint somewhere. Doesn't help that I can not see very well. Each tree we pass seems to blur together. It has been a long time since I have been able to tell detail on any kind of object.
“Why are you participating in the hunt? Glory, love, fame? Finding any kind of spirit and bringing them home with you is hard work. Then you have to narrow down to a particular type of spirit. The request sounds unreasonable. Normally most people would just hunt something else.” The small avian questions as it flies up to sit on my shoulder.
“To help a friend out that I love dearly. I will do anything for my friends. Thought that you knew that, which is why you’ve decided to hide yourself as the little humming bird.” I stop as I can see a small lake in the middle of the forest that I had chosen to walk into.
The avian flies off of my shoulder as he seems to effortlessly fly over to the lake that seems to glisten as the light hits the water passing through the trees. “You willingly walked in to this part of the forest on your own. No one does that. You lied to me about your name. How do I know that you aren’t lying about killing us?”
“I am under an order to not give out my name. Not even the shortened version of said name. I’m sorry if I am coming across as deceiving you. I just, have to follow what I am told when it comes from someone that I trust.” I step into the clearing as the ground seems to glisten and shine beneath my feet.
“How long is your hunt? Time does not flow normally here, so I can put you out when it is supposed to end. We should become friends here, what do you say?” As the small avian speaks to me he flies off landing on top of the water. “I just need to know that I can trust you. We are under an obligation to do so before binding ourselves with someone else. I am sure you understand that. Right Allium?”
Watching it shimmer above the water that it flew to makes me feel some kind of joy that I don’t quiet understand, yet I nod my head as the avian in front of me smiles.
“Good, now tell me about yourself. What are your desires?”
Sorry about the delay for this update, I was mentally struggling but things are getting better. I Should be able to more regularly upload now. The next chapter is rather dark and I will summarize it at the end next week as it goes into topics of physical abuse and control. The topics surrounding these characters are the main reason for the mature rating despite things not being "Explicit"
After the nobles of my court all left I slouch in my chair and let out an audible groan. “I hate dealing with the court. They are the worst. This isn’t even my court, this was my father’s. Full of a bunch of people he trusted.”
I let my eyes wonder and they land on the other side of the table where Phoenix still sat still in his chair. “Why can’t you make a new one? Make a new court?”
“If it was that easy I would do it. But even if I kicked them out, they don’t respect me enough to actually leave.”
I blink and the next thing that I notice is that the avian is standing in front of me. “Why did you change the archery suggestion to a hunt?” The bird leans in as he moves my bangs out of my face gazing into my eyes as he seems to look at me with the utmost care.
“If I were to tell you that the goal was to hunt something small. Would you do it, or would you think that I don’t know what I am talking about and ignore my request to give me something ‘more impressive.’” The question leaves my mouth as I know what the noble’s of the court would do.
“If the goal was small game and who brought back the best of said small prey, then why wouldn’t I listen to that?”
“Be cause you don’t see me as potential property to own. This court doesn’t respect me. They respected my father. But because my parents didn’t produce a son, they all see me as something that they think they have the right to and not someone that is able to work and do what needs to be done in this country.” I- we are not even a woman, yet we’re treated like one. Are the words that I never speak out loud but seem to echo through the room silently.
I watch as the avian looks away. “I would go to war for you if you asked. I could never see my friend that I cherish as property.”
“I could never send my little bird off to war.” I pause as I see his reaction to my statement as he seems to be trying to collect his thoughts before responding. “I too see you as someone precious to me. I could never use you for my own gain.”
His wings break through his binding as their eyes seem to move back and forth as if he is looking for something that isn’t there. “I still don’t know if I believe that. The- the last person that said- they- I still have a pull to listen to-”
“Little bird, Phee, come here.” He slowly makes his way over as I see his wings shaking as he seems to be struggling to keep them hidden.
“I don’t know what happened. But I am here for you.” I reach out and wrap my arms around him as he breaks down in tears. “I won’t let anyone take advantage of you again. I promise.” I rub his back and notice a set of binding on his chest that seems to be make shift. “How long have you been wearing that? Love that can’t be good for your ribs.”
The avian yanks away quickly and then frantically tries to cover up what I only found through feeling. “I’m sorry, I- I didn’t- I really am- please, please don’t- don’t think differently of me. Please. I- I mean if you want I- I can leave and you’ll never have to see-”
“Phoenix stop.” I said his name as the avian in front of me processed what I said as and order and silenced himself. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to do that. You are still you after all how could I ever hate you?”
I watch as his wings seem to tremble. “You aren’t lying to me right? You wouldn’t lie to me, right?”
Tears are streaming down his face as I feel a pull from him tug at my heart. “No, I can’t lie, even if I could, I would never lie to you.”
I watch them mess with their wings as he pulls at the feathers rather roughly. I get up and look out the door and find a maid telling her to not let anyone other then Olive into this room. After I shut the door I watch as Phoenix’s body stiffens.
“Hey no one is going to come in here birdie. don’t worry. It will just be us. Breath in... hold... then back out.” I continue to step him through some breathing exercise that I have had to do for him prior.
He lets go of his wings as a couple feathers that were ripped out fall to the ground. “Why are you doing this? Why try so hard for just me? I- I’m no longer- I am not anyone important.”
“Do you consider me part of your flock?” The question that is asked from me has an obvious answer in my mind. That answer being yes, he does. I do enjoy the avian’s presence as I know that he enjoys mine.
“Well, y- yes I do think of you as that. You, Corvus, and Olive are all part of that to me.” Phoenix looks away as his wings seem to flap slightly. they seem to be in a slight disarray from being bound for the four hour meeting.
“How can I help you feel like I care about you Phee?”
The avian seems to heasitate slightly. “Can you help me with my wings? Normally we would do each others but I- I can do your hair instead since- since you don’t have wings.”
As I nod Phoenix seems to hesitate but heads over and removes his shirt that ripped in the back. I watch as he sits and his wings start to shake again. He seems terrified of something. What that is I am not sure.
“We can not do this if you are not comfirtable. I don’t want to force you.”
“I- I- it will be fine. I just am not used to letting someone else do this anymore. I- I know that I said that I wanted this, it is just terrifying.”
The avian stumbles through his words as he seems to be trying to convince himself that this is something that he wants. “Consent can be taken away at anytime little birdy. You know that, right?”
“You’ve always respected me like that. I trust you. I am just scared.”
I place my hand on his back where his wings meet up with it. I feel the muscles tense up there as he seems to want to fly away. “I understand. If this gets too much we can stop.”
With those words he seems to relax. “Okay.”
“Can I remove your chest binding for now so your ribs can have a break.”
He quickly shakes his head. “I don’t like it. I don’t want you to see me any differently.”
I move my hands around his back as I think on what to say next. I understand that he is scared. But what would assure him that I would never see him any differently. “Do you see me as a woman because I look like one?”
“Why would I? You are Lu, my dear friend.”
“And removing this binding won’t make you someone that you are not. Right, you will still be Phee, with or without the binding and I will not see you as someone that you are not.”
His wings seem to instinctually flap loosening some feathers that were ready to fall off as the lost their grip on his wings. “Well if you promise that I am still- I am still going to be who I was prior in your eyes.”
“I promise. I’ll wrap you back up when we are done but we should get you a proper binder at some point.”
“I- I don’t want a seamstress to see my wings.” a brief pause was deafening as I could hear his breathing get ragged. “I- I was able to get out last time, but my fam- my flock- everyone- never again.”
I let out a sigh as I remove the binding on his chest. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
“You can’t make that promise. People I know my limits.” Phoenix’s wings become still as if what he is talking about is fact. That people will just hurt him and I won’t be able to stop it.
I move my fingers through his wings as I let his words sit with me. “I will just say your full name that you gave me by mistake and that will over-ride your instincts, right?”
“Why, why go so far to protect me?”
“You are my precious friend and I love you.”
With the words that I said, he shoots up and quickly tuns around as his remaining loose feathers fall to the ground with his wings quickly flapping as if he was about to take off.
He looks into my eyes with his that seem to be about to leak. Phoenix makes his way closer to me as he does the same motion that I had provided on his wings to my hair. He removes a few lose strands as he pushes my hair to the side. “You are an amazing friend. I will happily fight for your independence. W- I love you too.”
Sorry for this one coming out a little late, but here is chapter 7. While I am here and not in too much of a haze I will be reading through chapter 8 which will be the first POV switch. Here is my ko-fi link as my supporters get future chapters once every five chapter updates.
The main hall is booming with other nobles bickering. What they are arguing about, I could not actually tell you. I just wish that they would all talk at once. I do recall something about a succession crisis. But why does that matter? noble’s declare heirs to their line all the time when there is no tie to blood. Why I am being treated differently then every other noble is a mystery to me.
“My liege you need to choose a husband!” One of the noble men says to me seeming frantic to get me to choose.
I have managed to put this off for sixty years and still plan on putting it off longer. I still have a couple thousand more years of life left in me anyways. “I don’t see the rush, I have time.”
“My liege the longer you wait you make the kingdom more unrest.” The noble man responds as he messes with his mustache. The way he looks at me is revolting. I don’t want to be tied to any of the men in my court.
“I am sure I will find someone, eventually.” I look off and seem to mentally phase out as the room around me goes quiet. Lips are moving but no sound comes out to fill a void that seems to enter my being. I open my mouth and can’t speak as the body’s around me seem to be getting aggressive at my lack of response.
I feel my heart pounding as if it is trying to break free from a cage. It wants to break free. I want to run. I need to get out of here, but I can’t. I have a job to do. I am capable of this job. I was born to do this eventually. I have to not completely shut down again. Olive- Olive isn’t in the room with me this time. He had to do something else.
Why do we have to wed again anyways. The voice in my head sounds as that is the only thing that I am able to hear. Her voice sounds as if it is light as a bell. Nothing that I am not used to hearing. I am used to her voice sounding there.
I- I don’t know. I don’t understand it. We are- other nobles are allowed to adopt heirs. Why can’t we? I respond to her back in my head.
Are we not allowed to be like other nobles? She asks me. Her voice sounds innocent.
It was a question that should not get to me the way that it has. Like other nobles? There are more then one of me in here? Why, why would we ever- well at least the marriage thing, we should- I should be treated like other nobles.
“Why don’t we hold an archery contest? If xe has shut down again then maybe we should just make a decision.”
My eyes wander to the other end of the table to a younger noble man leaned back. I don’t think I recognize the man as anyone from my court. Maybe my memory is going?
He looks at me as his brown eyes briefly turn purple then flicker back to brown. Seeing that they followed me into the meeting despite being told not to brings a tear to my eyes. For the first time ever, I am glad that I was not listened to.
I watch the young noble get up and walk to the other side of the room as he takes my hand and kisses it making unbreaking eye contact. “How does that sound my liege?”
My face flushes as I yank my hand away quickly from the shock that this bird would flirt with me in front of my court. That he would have the audacity to-
“My liege,” he leans down as he whispers into my ears “Lu let me get you out of a marriage you don’t want. I can do that for you.”
“You’re blind as a bat.” My voice was just as quiet as his but I knew that they could still hear me.
“Then be my eyes.” Phee’s response sent a chill down my spine.
I open my mouth to respond but freeze briefly as I look down the table seeing the nobles around gossiping. I quickly think about how to make this easier for the avian in front of me. “Why don’t I host a hunt? The noble that brings the best quality of the animal that I name after the hunt will considered the winner. And I will make my decision during the event.”
With mentioning a hunt the avian’s eyes seem to light up as it seems to excite him. He has clearly hunted before. Obviously this is something that he greatly enjoys. I’ll have to make a note to let him do so more often.
I feel the harsh judge of the noble’s gazes while simultaneously feeling them look at me as if I could become their next meal. Yet they all seem to nod in approval. They are all vultures looking to take me away or lock me up as some type of prize.
Making eye contact with Phoenix he nods and heads back to the other end of the table.
I clear my throat and look at each harsh gaze that seems to be full of desire that I want to dispose of. “While we are here, do you all have other manners that you would like to discuss?”
I am currently working on Chapter 13 and this is a story with an alternating POV and I have managed to switch a couple times during this set of five chapters. Chapters 6-10 are also currently up on my ko-fi for all my supporters. I do have to at some point rework my tiers but as of right now they all do the same thing regardless of what they say that they do which is just give you early access to all my creative content.
