#firepixie

He stands at the back of the bar, unseen, watching the sandy-haired hunter as he downs another shot of what can only be assumed to be whiskey. Cas never been one for bars, with the exception being the ones that Dean is in.

Sometimes he’s visible, but more often than not he remains invisible, content to watch the Winchesters.

Sam is usually the first to leave, citing being tired or research as an excuse to go back to the motel and sleep. Dean, however, will stay till almost closing time just to drink and hit on women. When Cas is visible, he will stay with him.

Even when he isn’t visible, Cas stays to watch the human he tore straight from hell. Perhaps the other angels are right when they say that he has a weakness for this particular human.

Not that Cas really had a choice in it. There are many things the angel believes, but he knows that he was the one to raise Dean for a reason. He was profoundly bonded to him because of things he can’t even begin to comprehend.

For some, that thought would be comforting. For Castiel, it just means a little more of wanting the things he can never have. This fact is forcibly driven home each time Dean brings home a woman or, as he is doing now, hitting on another woman in a bar.

With a sigh, he steps into the dark corner and wishes that he had a beer. His vessel did still have some cravings, but somehow Castiel knows that this is his own desire, not Jimmy’s.

At times it is infuriating, he admits as Dean leans closer and drops his voice to almost a growl. He has given up so much for these two humans that it seems almost irrational. From raising Dean from Hell, dying, raising Sam from the cage, and even being kicked out of heaven on their account, Cas can’t even recall why he would do it until he hears it.

It’s a sound he can never forget, nor would he want to. At the bar something has made Dean laugh, the hunter’s sage eyes brightening in the dim light. The sound seems to pierce straight through to his grace, which makes his very soul shiver. Yes, that had to be it. Everything was to see this broken, scruffy human laugh and smile.

Cas knows that Dean has been angry with him plenty of times, and so he stays silent and as distant as he can be while being profoundly bonded to him. Yet he knows exactly how many steps it would take for him to reach Dean – thirty five and a half – in case he needed to. Cas could pick out the exact shade of Dean’s hair in a crowd, could tell you the particular shade of green that his eyes are, his favorite beer, which whiskey he prefers on the bad nights, his favorite pie – apple of course – and how it should be served, and the way that Dean sleeps above the covers, sprawled out like he owns the bed.

He also knows that Sam has his suspicions about the nature of the profound bond Cas has to Dean. But what Sam doesn’t know is how Cas will occasionally bring Dean home from those nights that slip away from him, the nights where Dean can hardly drive the Impala, much less walk. He also doesn’t know how Cas will deposit Dean in bed and even though he knows he shouldn’t, the angel will occasionally place a kiss on the hunter’s forehead.

It’s probably the most indecent thing Castiel’s ever done to another human being and likely the most chaste thing Dean’s ever had done to him by someone else.

Even though he’s invisible, Cas can’t help but freeze when Dean looks directly at him and smiles that solemn, almost smug smile of his. Like he knows that he’s there but won’t say anything. And of course, hours later, Cas is the one dragging Dean out of the Impala and into the motel where Sam is already asleep under the sheets.

Gingerly, the angel puts Dean onto the bed in the most natural way he can find. He freezes solid when Dean shifts and grabs onto the pillow before going still.

As per usual, Castiel sits in the armchair that the room has, his eyes stuck to Dean. What the angel will never know is how worried the hunter is when the angel is not around, how he doesn’t let anyone touch him when the angel is wounded, with the exception of maybe Sam or Bobby, how he will instinctively angle his body towards Cas whenever he’s in the room, and how Dean will always, always defend Castiel to anyone who says otherwise.