#firefated

@firefated​​​     --      jean .      ⁽      ᶜˡᵒˢᵉᵈ      ⁾  

LEANING  OVER  THE  SIDE  OF  THE  COUCH  ,  SOFT  BLANKETS  AROUND  HIS  WAIST  ,  FIVE  HAD  HIS  EYES  TIGHTLY  SHUT  .  heart  beating  so  loud  that  it  was  the  only  thing  filling  his  ears  .  flashes  of  memories  in  the  apocalypse  filling  his  head  .  fire  .  the  heat  of  the  flames  .  the  sight  of  his  family  dead  in  the  rubble  .  shit  .  shit  .  it  wasn’t  even  all  that  .  dreams  became  so  lucid  where  he  could  picture  the  apocalypse  so  clearly  in  his  mind  ,  stand  in  the  BURNING  BROKEN  BUILDING  of  his  family  home  .  turn  &&  see  every  face  he  had  ever  killed  staring  in  front  of  him  .   like  the  years  in  the  commission  &&  the  years  spent  fighting  for  his  survival  bled  into  one  another  .  no  single  isolating  incident  .  just  years  of  ...  this  crap  , 

five  pressed  his  hand  AGAINST  the  left  side  of  his  chest  ,  eyes  swimming  ,  but  he  was  unsure  if  it  was  sweat  or  something  else  .  as  he  heard  jean  speak  ,  he  gave  a  nod  .  “  nothing  unusual  ,  ”  he  muttered  .  

                                                HEAD  DIPPING  LOW  ,  FIVE  PRESSED  HIS  HANDS  AGAINST  HIS  KNEES  ,  his  entire  body  shivering  &&  shaking  .  partly  from  adrenaline  &&  partly  from  feeling  like  he  was  gonna  hurl  .  closing  his  eyes  ,  trying  to  process  everything  ,  five  hated  when  he  felt  like  this  .  it  wasn’t  often  that  it  happened  .  but  it  wasn’t  so  unusual  that  five  didn’t  know  what  to  do  .  he  just  needed  time  to  ...  time  to  ...  he  gulped  down  ,  swallowing  THICKLY  &&  dipping  his  head  ,  feeling  a  trickle  of  blood  pool  from  his  head  &&  down  the  side  of  his  face  .  scrunching  up  his  eyes  as  he  tried  to  not  shout  out  or  whatever  else  his  body  wanted  to  do  .  senses  heightened  ,  he  felt  jean  move  beside  him  ,  &&  then  sit  .  an  inhale  .  then  an  exhale  .  five  opened  his  eyes  briefly  before  realizing  that  was  a  BAD  IDEA  .  he  bit  his  tongue  &&  shook  his  head  ,  eyes  shutting  tight  &&  feeling  a  trickle  of  water  spark  in  the  corner  of  his  eyes  .  nope  .  nope  this  wasn’t  happening  .  he  was  FINE  .  he  was  always  FINE  .  get  over  it  .  get  over  it  .

            JEAN SO OFTEN MADE HIM FEEL AS if for at least a little while, he has all the time in the world to just be himself and be at ease with himself and the world around him — because in those moments, nothing else but Jean would matter. She would be his home, and she will always be his home. She makes it so easy for him to get carried away, too. When she turned to look at him and kiss his lips, he’d caught up with her so easily. After all this time, even Scott was getting a little better at reading his wife the same way she could so easily peek inside his mind whenever she desired. The look in those eyes... He knows all too well what it meant. She never asks for Scott to take off his glasses (for she knows how fickle he is about them and the danger it poses to be without them), unless she has something very specific in mind.

             Scott moved onto his back once Jean reached for the covers to pull them up over their heads so the whole world could disappear. Bodies pressed close together, he could feel her heat radiate against his own when he reached up his hands towards the ruby-quartz shades. His brows knitted together as soon as his fingertips touched the frame and gently removed them from his face. Eyes sealed firmly shut, he waited until he could feel Jean’s hands on the sides of his face as was their custom in the intimacy of an act like this.

             Emerald green, a stark contrast to the grey he commonly sees in her eyes any other given moment. It silenced Scott. It always did when Jean would give him back the world he once knew. Even if in those moments, she was his world. He will always indulge in it and make each moment last, and count.