#firebolter

missing e is heaven lol

Wank, or tell group. Wank, or tell group. Fuck, tell group!

I'm a human being. Maybe not the stuff of legend but every bit as important as Time Lords, thank you.

I love Donna Noble because she serves a different purpose than any of the other companions. She is the only one, other than Rory or Mickey, who has never had romantic feelings for the Doctor. She acts independently of any personal emotions that could cloud her judgment. She is able to challenge the Doctor in a way that no one else can, because she comes from this position of friendship. She’s able to be honest and herself, the entire time that she’s traveling with the Doctor, and demand things of him that no other companion does. 

The point of Donna isn't for her to be perfect or for you to love her right off the bat. Because for a best friend, for someone who really has the potential to change your life, you often don't like them immediately. It isn't about some kind of instant connection, it's about something that grows and develops as her and the Doctor spend more time together. As he learns to love, trust, and need her, we do too. We start to realize that the things Donna says are smart, every single thing, and that she has this amazing conception of how the universe works that is different but still cohesive with the Doctors.

He loves her because she changes his life. She makes him look at himself and consider what he has become. She challenges this idea that he can do whatever he want, that he's alone, that he's the "time lord victorious." She points out when he's going to far and tells him off if he tries something stupid, because she isn't afraid to upset him. She honestly, truly is there to be helpful. And, because of that, he is able to value her opinion in a way that he can't with any of the other companions. He's able to trust her without any reserves.

I have heard Donna referred to as “the civilian” and I rather like that idea of her. She comes into the experience with the intention of helping, of wanting to do whatever she can for the Doctor and the earth. Think about this : She is the only companion who has time to actually consider her decision to go with the Doctor. She is the only companion who ever thinks to really say no. In the Runaway Bride, she makes the most practical and realistic choice. She actually understands the universe in a way that none of the other companions do. Here’s the direct lines from the episode:

The Doctor : But you’ve seen it out there. It’s beautiful.

Donna : And it’s terrible. That place was flooding and burning and they were dying and you just stood there like...I don’t know....a stranger. And then you made it snow - I mean, you scare me to death!

I’m serious, I really want you to think about how important this is. She is the ONLY companion who questions him, who sees this darker side of the Doctor from the very start. She, arguably, because Rose wasn’t having the greatest time ever either, has the most boring life of all of them and yet she is the ONLY ONE who realizes how dangerous he can be. That is AMAZING. 

And then, she has the time to really consider her decision. She was able to save the Doctor’s life once, face aliens and her fears, but she doesn’t think that she can do that again. But once he’s gone, and life goes back to normal, she can no longer be content with just that. She starts to push back against those ideas of who she was and consider what life could be like with the Doctor. Again, she is the only companion who really has the time to consider this and make a mature decision about it (I’m not going to count Amy, as she fixated on the Doctor for her entire life and this prevented her from growing up at all). So, when she does find the Doctor again (which is a miracle in itself), she knows what she wants. She is ready.

(Not to mention that she saves the Doctor’s fucking life in her very first episode and recognizes when he needs “someone to stop him” but that almost doesn’t need saying). 

So she goes with the Doctor, with a curiosity about the world and an excitement to break from what she had become accustomed to. Now I want to talk about that first traveling episode, Fires of Pompeii, because I think that it’s one of the most important in the season in terms of Donna’s personality. Everyone knows that Donna is the sass master and fierce as hell, and I do love her for that. But because that is so often touched on in discussions of Donna, I’m not going to focus on it. Instead I want to talk about how, on her very first trip with the Doctor, she challenges him and shows how selfless she can be.

I think it’s important to keep in mind that she is the “civilian,” just a normal temp from Chisick. In one of the final scenes of that episode, where the Doctor realizes that Pompeii is not a fixed point but rather a choice that he has to make, Donna absolutely astounds me. The transcript is:

The Doctor : Vesuvius explodes with the force of 24 nuclear bombs. Nothing can survive it. Certainly not us.

Donna : Never mind us. 

The Doctor : Push this lever and it’s over. 20,000 people.

AND THEN DONNA, WHO REALIZES HOW TERRIFIED AND GUILTY HE FEELS, WHO RECOGNIZES THAT HIS OWN PLANET BURNED, WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT HE CAN’T TAKE THIS BURDEN BY HIMSELF, PUTS HER HANDS OVER HIS HANDS AND PUSHES DOWN THE LEVER WITH HIM. DONNA NOBLE, JUST AN ORDINARY CIVILIAN, A FALLIBLE HUMAN, IS THERE TO PROP UP THE TIME LORD AND WILLING TO TAKE HALF OF THE RESPONSIBILITY OF A HISTORICAL TRAGEDY, AFTER YOU’VE SEEN HER TRY AND TRY AGAIN TO STOP VESUVIUS FROM HAPPENING AT ALL THE ENTIRE EPISODE. SHE TAKES THAT RESPONSIBILITY BECAUSE SHE IS ABLE TO UNDERSTAND THE HARD CHOICES THAT HE HAS TO MAKE AND SHE DECIDES TO TAKE THAT BURDEN WITH HIM

And then, after all of that screaming I just did, she tries her best to save just one person from the city. She shouts at the Doctor, begs him and, most importantly, challenges him to understand what he is doing and try to change his behavior. She doesn’t take his excuses about it being a fixed point, she doesn’t care about the rules of time. And here’s the most important part, while the Doctor is able to see the bigger picture and all of time and space interweaving, Donna Noble is able to see what he doesn’t. She sees the importance of the INDIVIDUAL, she understands that saving one person from the mess of Pompeii will make the tragedy just a little bit better. She couldn’t stand to see them suffer, to lose any more human life. And so she challenges him to consider that as well, how much could change just by saving one person, and he finally listens to her. She challenges him and he realizes that she’s right. That’s an important aspect of hope that he finds in her, something that the Doctor is sorely missing ever since he lost Rose. And this is all in Donna’s first trip with the Doctor. How BLOODY AMAZING IS THAT. 

Let’s go right forward to Planet of the Ood. In this episode, she just further proves how she has every single priority right. She is able to understand the purpose of the Ood holding their brains in their hands without the Doctor even saying. She is clearly uncomfortable with the way that they are being treated and disgusted by the fact that humans are doing this. She wants to hear their song, even though the Doctor warns her how difficult it will be to listen to. She wants to understand everything that she can and help whoever she can. Even if she originally went with the Doctor because she wanted a different kind of life, that motivation quickly changes as the season progresses. Donna is there for him, to stop him when he needs it, to be there to tell him when he’s wrong. She is there to help those around her and do the best that she can for the human race. When she had always felt so helpless and small in her own life, now she wanted to improve the lives of others in whatever way that she could. She’s realizing how important a single life can be. And that is, again, amazing. 

I’m going to jump ahead to Forest of the Dead. I just want to reemphasize how much Donna had to go through in this season, and how well she dealt with it and didn’t complain. In this episode, when she is taken into the computer, she is given an entirely new life. A husband and children, both of whom she loves unconditionally. Can you imagine how absolutely terrible it would be for her when she does realize that this place isn’t real? Donna is insecure, afraid that she won’t have a husband (because even though she never thought she would be special in her own life, she desperately wants to be special to at least one person). And now for her to have all of those things, and then they’re all torn away from her? And she doesn’t complain after, doesn’t demand that the Doctor bring her home. She keeps trucking on because she realizes that there are more important things in the world, that she has other things she has to do, and that being with the Doctor alone allows her to be special. 

And now we’re at one of the hardest episodes. I find it impossibly difficult to even rewatch Turn Left because it upsets me so much, but let’s talk about this. One of the things that I find the most remarkable about this episode is, even as the world is disintegrating around her after the Doctor has died, she still reacts so strongly to injustice. The way that she runs after the car full of people being taken to labour camps and screams at them to stop. Even without him, she still is capable of such amazing bravery and strength.

But, she doesn’t believe in herself. Of course she doesn’t. All she’s been told, her entire life, is how useless she is. She can’t even keep a full job or a boyfriend, she lives with her mom who constantly berates her, there is nothing about her life that sets her apart or makes her different. Her conversation with Rose will always be one of the most heartbreaking scenes in Doctor Who and here, let’s look at some of the transcript: 

Donna : Well, what do you keep telling ME for? What am I supposed to do? I'm nothing special. I mean, I'm... I'm not, I'm nothing special, I'm a temp. I'm not even that, I'm nothing!

Rose : Donna Noble, you're the most important woman in the whole of creation.

Donna : Oh, don't. Just... don't. I'm tired. I'm so... tired.

And then let’s look at a little later in the episode, when she has gone with Rose and they’re showing her the bug on her back:

Donna : You liar! You told me I was special! But it's not me! It's this thing, I'm just a host!

Rose : No, there's more than that. The readings are strange it's... it's like reality's just bending round you... I thought it was just the Doctor we needed, but it's the both of you. The Doctor and Donna Noble. Together. To stop the stars from going out.

I think that this is just so amazing. Donna is so set in this idea of herself as not being special, as not being anything worthwhile, but Rose is forcing her to see otherwise. Even the Donna who is traveling with the Doctor struggles with this idea of herself as important, and doesn’t quite realize the impact that she’s having on his life. And this is what important, the Doctor is always talking about how important everyone in the world is, and with Donna he really, truly shows us that. Her choices helped save the world. Not only are we finding out how one person can effect the entire world, but she is too. She doesn’t even realize how much he depends on her, but the audience does. 

And now we’re at the end. Donna doesn’t come into this episode with any special knowledge about interspace travel and aliens, like Rose and Martha do. She’s still the civilian in so many ways but, in the end, she saves the day. And, in order to do that, she gives up a part of herself and allows the Doctor’s personality to fuse with hers. She’s no longer 100% Donna Noble anymore, but she doesn’t even mention that because she has to save the world. 

The way that Donna leaves is, I think, the saddest thing that could ever happen to a companion. And yes, much worse than death. Because we have just watched an entire season of Donna coming into herself, realizing how important she really is, how much she is worth to the Doctor and her place in the world. She has saved planets, families, the Doctor himself - and she’s able to understand, for the first time, who Donna Noble really is. And then all of that is taken away from her. She no longer understands that she was the most important woman in the universe. She no longer knows her best friend, who depends on her so much. She is no longer anything. She has lost the idea of having a better life.

All Donna ever wanted was to be something special. She wanted to prove her nagging mother wrong, to be more than this nothing temp that she saw herself as. And finally she had that chance, she went off with a man in a blue box to see the stars and save whoever she could. And even if no one else ever understood how important she was, she would know; she would always know that she was one of the few people to really see the universe and understand it. And then she saves the world but it comes at a price, the price of everything that she has learned, everything that she is. And she has to start from the beginning again, as a bored, unexceptional, tired temp. 

I think Catherine Tate said it best, when she said that Donna would never fulfill her potential because she’d never realize that she had any. The truth is, that there isn’t much of a chance for Donna in the future. Sure, she does get married, and she gets to live her life. But she’ll never know who she really was and what she could do. 

Look around. Fuck all ever happens in this shitty little town.