#finkledust

All I did was think. Think, and think, without expressing my thoughts. I tried though, I really did. But sometimes I just couldn’t find my voice. I let the fear of rejection suppressed me down. I thought that people would like me less if I were more confident and outspoken about my arguments. That people would find my personality annoying if I were more stubborn that’s why I chose to give in.  If you ever went through the same thing, the fear of speaking up, you know what a struggle it is to fight and not let yourself lose over fear.

I have become to know myself better this year. I am indeed an over-thinker and I tend to think too much. I had caged myself for too long and I had become so scared to experience the outer world. Speaking up, on the other hand, felt so risky and the world is so full of criticisms. I wouldn’t have wanted to say something that would have the potential to backfire nor the potential to have arguments with someone so I just ended up not saying anything.

However, earlier last month, I found this quote and it has intrigued me since then. 

“Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” -Robert Louis Stevenson

It was not about winning the argument, being right over something, nor it is about having people to agree with you. It simply is about believing in yourself and your beliefs. That’s all that matters. Maybe it didn’t really work on your first try but you’re planting the seed to be brave and confident to talk and to face people. And eventually after a lot of tries and fails, you will make it. 

Every time I started to doubt myself again, I would remind myself of the quote over and over again. After all, it takes a whole process; lots of ups and downs. Don’t expect something instant out of it instead it’s something that you should practice constantly. 

So I went through my tag and apparently I’ve been tagged in quite a few of these! Just press J/K to skip this if you aren’t interested. x (It’s quite long) 

Rules: 

Always post the rules.

Answer the questions the person who tagged you in asked, then write 11 new ones. 

Tag 11 people.

Tell them about the post.

I was tagged by foxhaei​, dahzles​, flocs​, guhrly​, & floraeis​! 

Questions: 

- from foxhaei - 

1. favorite band/s or artist/s? taylor swift, 5 seconds of summer, the 1975, ed sheeran, the kooks ++

2. have you ever had your first kiss? how old were you and when did it happen? nope, waiting for it to be with a guy wherein it won’t just be a one time thing. ☺

3. are you happy? (i swear if you’re experiencing any problems, you can always message me I AM HERE FOR YOU WE CAN TALK) most of the time, but i’m not going to lie, lately i’ve just been getting these really weird periods of time wherein i just start getting upset?? it’s weird.

4. favorite youtubers/celebs/models/famous personalities? zoella, pointlessblog, thatcherjoe, dicasp, aaron johnson, lily collins, anna sophia robb, dylan o’ brien ++

5. what are your top 3 new year’s resolutions for 2015? wow, this is long over due, (my bad for not checking my tag) but probably listening more in class, no to procrastination and to be more organised!

6. what are your interests/hobbies? in my spare time i like to cook & bake lots. i’ve been doing it since i was young. i like to sing too! 

7. last movie you cried in? hatchiko ☹

8. do you have a pet? if you do, what’s its name and what kind? yes i do! he’s a 6 year old shih tzu and his name is danny! i love him to bits. 

9.  who do you admire the most? i really admire taylorswift. she’s just so down to earth and such a sweetie when it comes to her fans! i can only hope that if i ever become famous i’m as nice and humble as she is. 

10. what are your opinions on equality? i am definitely ALL FOR IT. why should any of us be treated like we’re lesser? i especially hate sexism. fem power all the wayyy!

11. what would you consider the best moment of your life so far? hmm, i don’t think i’ve had a BEST moment yet, but one of my faves are probably when i watched the 1975 front row! 

- from dahzles - 

1. What genres of music do you like? Mostly, I like Indie, Pop, Pop Rock & Indie Folk!

2. Favorite ice cream flavor? There is no valid answer to this. Ice Cream is Ice Cream and I will have it no matter what flavor. (Though right now I’m really loving Ben & Jerry’s Hazed & Confused Core) 

3. Best experience in your whole life? Like I said I don’t think I’ve had a best yet, but I loved watching the 1975 front row! 

4. What are your fears? Oh honey, way too many. 

5. Would you rather be alone for a whole day or be with your friends? Depends, but generally I’d like to be with my friends. 

6. If you could bond with anyone in the whole world in three days, who would they be? Ashton Irwin (5SOS) - I’d make him fall in looOooOve with me. ♥ Well, at least I’d try. 

7. What is your nationality? Filipino! And proud of itttt x

8. Would you rather be best friends with a boy or a girl? I think being best friend with a boy would be really cute! You could tell him things you could never tell a girl. + There’s a chance you could fall in loOooOove. ;)

9. Favorite time of the year? Summer definitely. 

10. What’s your original hair color? A very dark shade of brown. 

11. Do you think you’re beautiful? (cause I think you are) I like to think so! And I think you and all my followers are too. ☺) 

- from floxh - 

1. coffee or tea? coffee!

2. black or white? black

3. fav book? why? to all the boys i’ve loved before by jenny han! so lovely. i cried. 

4. fav disney princess? hmm, elsa foreva! 

5. top 5 places in the world that i’d like to go to? probably paris, bahamas, hawaii, amsterdam, and disneyworld florida!

6. a random word flutterbutter

7. thing(s) you hate in Tumblr (is there’s) nothing. tumblr is life. 

8. your lucky number? i don’t really have one

9. top 3 hot boys but there are 4 boys in 5SOS ☹☹☹

11. funniest gif (insert) i don’t have any on me right now, sorry!

12. best tumblr friend(s) dazyclub, creamhy, frahntic, teahse, sheehts, flauhra, nehrd, pancahke, & arthic! 

- from guhrly - 

1. What are your goals in life? To own my own bakery/cafe, be married and have kids! 

2. Top 5 places you’d like to visit: Like I said, probably Paris, Bahamas, Hawaii, Amsterdam, and Disneyworld Florida!

3. Do you believe in true love? Yes I do! I see it everyday through my parents. ☺ ♥

4. Are you a feminist? Why? Yes I am! I honestly really think we should all have equality. 

5. Have you ever struggled with relationship/crush problems? Yes I have. I’m not good with boys. ☹

6. What are your favorite things in life? The little things are my favourite. Always. 

7. Can you name your 3 favorite songs? No, because Taylor Swift has 5 albums, 5SOS has countless EPs + 1 album & the 1975 has an album too. 

8. How many exes do you have? :> None HAHA. 

9. Would you rather kill your best friend or kill yourself? NO

10. What is your favorite food? all food.

- from floraeis - 

1. Who is your celebrity crush? Ashton Irwin!

2. Who is your favourite female musician/singer? Taylor Swift ♡

3. What brand of clothing you shop at most? Not sure if it’s Old Navy or Forever 21

4. What’s your favourite colour? Pink!

5. What website do you check most often? Twitter over and over and over

6. Who is your girl crush? Lily Collins 

7. What is your favourite TV show? I can’t pick between Awkward, Teen Wolf & Faking It! 

8. What fandoms are you in? Swiftie, 5SOS Fam, the 1975 ☺

9. What is your favourite animal? Puppies!

10. What is your favourite book/book series? To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before & The Pretenders Series

11. What do you like most about yourself? Probably the way I treat my friends & my leadership skills. 

I tag dazyclub, teahse, arthic, flauhra, finkledust, flourale, frahntic, nehrd, sheehts, pancahke

1. What’s your favourite ‘what if’? 

2. What is one thing that you’re not very good at but wish you were?

3. Your thoughts on feminism? 

4. What’s one thing humanity does that you wish they didn’t?

5. If you were to be born in a different era, which would it be?

6. One celebrity you would make out with if given the chance.

7. Thoughts on Zayn leaving 1D? 

8. Would you miss me if I deactivated? (Cause I’m pretty sure I’d miss you) 

9. What song are you obsessed with at the moment?

10. Favourite TV Series? 

11. Tell me about your best concert experience/experience with a famous personality! 

sure thing :) x

it's definitely better to have loved and lost

Today is the day.

I broke my commitment. For somewhat relationship I think I could maintain. This is going to work. This is my first time after all. I would be lying if I said I feel okay, there's no worries or anything. Because I'm actually quite scared about this. What if things go wrong? What if I made the wrong choice? That wouldn't be very wise of me. 

But there's this whisper I keep on hearing, " you'll be okay, you'll do fine, don't worry. " I guess it's hope. I'm terribly scared and hope's what keeping me from quitting.