WIG REVIEW: PERRY MASON
It’s time for a prestige tv show wig review!! HBO’s reboot of Perry Mason has wrapped its season and I have a lot to say about it. SPOILERS AHEAD if you haven’t watched the full season. I had never watched the original Perry Mason (or read the books) but my mom did both and watching the new series with her was a lot of her comparing the new with the old. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE WIGS? Let’s discuss. Much like all HBO shows, the wig budget seems virtually nonexistent despite the fact that all HBO shows are definitely made out of money. WHAT GIVES?!?! I’ll be breaking down the hair character by character (skipping for the most part the wigless characters):
PERRY MASON
So many many of you have been trying to get me to watch The Americans, which is how most Americans were introduced to actor Matthew Rhys. AND I’M STILL NOT GONNA WATCH IT because though apparently there are many wigs, they are wigs within the narrative of the show so: WHATEVER. THEY ARE ALLOWED TO BE BAD! MOVING ON! I was introduced to Mr. Rhys first by running into him (literally) in my neighborhood (we’re neighbors!) and then seeing him as a grumpy grump in A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood (there is a neighborhood theme happening here...) Anyway: he is really good in this show and I was thankful every week that Perry was not played by Robert Downey, Jr (who originally was set to play him but still produced). Regardless: he doesn’t wear a wig but he does wear the shit out of some hats.
PETE STRICKLAND
Technically, Perry’s frenemy Pete is wigless as well but he wears the hell out of a mustache and that cannot go unnoticed!
DELLA STREET
Perry’s girl Friday and I guess the moral center of the show has one of the better wigs but it is still kind of the pits. Set in 1931-32, the series wigmaster clearly decided that ALL WOMEN wore fingerwave bobs and therefore all female characters have basically the same wig, with varying levels of success. Della’s is not the worst but that is mainly because she is constantly wearing hats.
When not wearing hats...it’s another story, dog. This thing is an untamed nightmare of bends and angles. Still, compared to the other fingerwave bobs in this show, it is (sadly!) one of the best.
EMILY DODSON
First off, I’m really glad that one of my favorite characters in GLOW is on this show. However, UGH THIS WIG. We first encounter Emily as the mother of a kidnapped/murdered baby who soon becomes the #1 suspect.
Therefore, throughout the series her wig really takes a turn from bored housewife to inmate to courthouse to cemetery resurrections and back again. And through it all, this wig takes a journey from bent wig to more bent wig!
Even in the courtroom....YIKES. Look at the shine on this thing! And the texture. HORRIFIC.
No amount of prestige lighting can hide its horror!!!!
LUPE GIBBS
The only female character who is NOT running around in a fingerwave bob is Perry’s love interest/aviator/landlord, Lupe. I guess this character was supposed to be ahead of her time and kind of a Mexican Amelia Earhart but much like her characterization, this wig was kind of a mess, in fountains and out.
PAUL DRAKE
Again, dude doesn’t have a wig but it must be noted that he wears hats well.
CLARA DRAKE
So straight up: I was worried about Paul Drake’s wife for basically ALL OF THIS SERIES. As soon as he was introduced as a black cop trying to navigate the very corrupt and even more racist LAPD and then it was revealed that he had a pregnant wife: I FEARED SHE AND THE BABY WOULD BE KILLED SOMEHOW. These fears truly crystallized when I started focusing on her wig, which is definitely the absolute worst wig on this show - the seamwork, texture, and curls are all a travesty. I knew that HBO would not be throwing wig bucks at a character that was not long for this series. BUT TWIST! Not only did she and baby live (halleluj!) but after quitting the LAPD and working for Perry, they somehow afforded a sweet new pad! I still don’t know how finances work on this show but fine! Now please get her a better wig for season 2!
LINDA MASON
First only heard as an angry voice on a phone, Perry’s ex-wife Linda, as played by the incomparable Gretchen Mol finally surfaced somewhere in the middle of this series. AND WON ALL THE WIG AWARDS. Did Gretchen Mol get to use her own hair person? Or her own hair? These mysteries still linger, as do many other mysteries in this series, but regardless: THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME ONE LADY WITH GOOD HAIR. Sadly, she was the only one. We hardly knew ye!
BIRDIE McKEEGAN
Straight up: I LOVE LILY TAYLOR and think she can do no wrong. I was thrilled that she was in this show, even if she plays a total Mommie Dearest monster. Her wig is totally serviceable? But since we’re talking about Lily Taylor, she probably deserved better.
SISTER ALICE McKEEGAN
Yes, I left the craziest wig for last. As Lily Taylor’s daughter/evangelical lunatic/sexual assault survivor/baby resurrector/definite witch, Tatiana Maslany brought the CRAZY to this show and her wig brought it too. And no - I still haven’t watched Orphan Black and I’m fine, thanks.
LOOK AT THIS DAMN WIG. Inspired somewhere between Elsa Lancaster’s Bride of Frankenstein, Jean Harlow, and every Halloween fright wig cut into a bob, this wig is a rumpled, crumpled MESS.
I think I speak for us all when I say to this wig: OH HELL NO.
This trio of wigs is truly the three horsemen of the apocalypse. GET IT TOGETHER, HBO’S WIG BUDGET DEPARTMENT!!!
The real twist at the end (SPOILER!) is when Sister Alice books it out of her own baby resurrection only to resurface as a brunette, working at a diner. I did think it was hilarious that character named Alice would end up working in a diner - how many tv shows are you trying to reboot, HBO?
IF ONLY.
Anyway, this wig is just as bad as Alice’s blonde wig! The little wispy spit curls are 100% inspired by Betty Boop and the whole thing looks about as realistic as Betty Boop as well. Also: Alice gave no further information on dead or living baby wherabouts, leaving a huge gaping mystery at the end of this show which my mom found REALLY REALLY annoying but I guess the point is: this bitch is probably a witch. OK?
VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ
