#findthelab

Keepers of the flame, these manic moments of obligations, celebrations, gatherings leave us grasping for meaning and deep connections.  It is time for us to observe how fire and light interweave our beliefs.  

We settle amidst the flickering fire of the Yule log, whispering wishes.  Twinkling lights wrapped around evergreens reflect the glimmer in our own eyes.  8 miraculous nights.  The 7 principles of tradition.  We gather in communion to celebrate our respective holidays. Taking these opportunities to express our gratitude for the blessings bestowed on us for another year.  In these moments, we must step back and notice how connected we all are.  Whatever your tribe, we all wish for peace and joy.  

I had abandoned these traditions for many years. Congested with anger and resentment for a holiday built on spend, spend, spend.  Furious with people more willing to wake up at 2am descending into blackness instead of waking up and cuddling with family.  I grew tense at the sight of long lines and feeling underprepared.  “Did I get everyone on my list?”  “Is there enough money in my bank account?” Seething while working longer hours and extra days because it’s the most wonderful time of the year.  

One recent Christmas holiday, I sensed this odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I was loosening my ties to Ebenezer and the nasty, green ogre.  I felt joy for the upcoming holiday.  The twinkling lights beckoning me closer to their warmth.  Friends calling, honestly more like texting, to gather after long absences.  I had the desire to return to tradition and create.  Mortar and pestle in hand grinding herbs, kneading bread, weaving textiles.  Watching strangers gather and stare at giant evergreens in the middle of New York City.  Yes, I still purchased gifts but mindfully and less than I had in previous years.  It made me happier, the ogre was left behind.  I was giving to appreciative, loved ones.  I wasn’t giving for the sake of giving.  

I had stepped into a Christmas run by conglomerates and executives shouting “Give us your money!”  You know when you get that feeling that something is just not right?  That was my anger.  Anger and frustration acting as my compass, guiding me to truth. I was slow to realize self-determination whispering in my ear.   Allowing joy and wonder to ease in expressing the essence of these holidays.  I recalled the memories of happiness and returned to the simple things.  Decorating of the tree and home.  Creating traditional dishes.  Sipping eggnog.  Watching Christmas specials.  These memories were all lit with love and joy.