#finding care

I'm sorry you're aren't feeling on top, hon. You should immediately seek help if you feel that you are a danger to yourself or others. Contacting your local mental health facility or office and finding out their procedures for in-patient care would be a good first step. You might find going through all that and having the information on hand, you're a little more grounded and maybe only need an appoint with a counselor at that point. Or you may need to be checked in. They'll be able to determine what your immediate needs are and get you some help. 

I've been there. I have times where I'm doing fine and don't want to go to the docs...or conversely, feel so terrible I don't want to hear what they have to say so I don't go and either way I wind up waiting until I'm nearly breaking down to seek help, which isn't helpful. Bottom line: When you need help, seek help, and then make a plan. Keep a steady rotation. Make appointments IN THE OFFICE for your next appt and not "Oh, I'll call whenever I need to come back," because you know you won't call. 

Thus far that's been the best way for me dealing with the on and off therapy is scheduling of appointments. Making an appt around a day I know will be emotionally difficult, coming in every month or two months or sometimes two weeks if things are bad. It's just something you have to keep up on. And honestly, I know when I'm walking out of my mental health clinic without an appt slip in hand for next time, I'm walking out knowing I'm not going to call until things get shitty. So always just go ahead and make the appt and KEEP IT. 

Till then, look up the mental health clinics in your area and call their advice line or front desk to get advice. If you're doing exceptionally bad, please seek help by going to the ER. Contact friends and family or other support. And as I always say, meds, shower, tea, distract, and relax. 

Monday morning M and I had a meeting with a potentially new midwife.We were both disappointed with her. She made a lot of condescending remarks about her fellow professional midwifes, and although she would only be my care provider for a total of two months, to include the birth and aftercare (so seeing her a total of five visits including the birth), she demanded that M and I pay her as if she was my care provider the entire pregnancy - the entire fee to be due in a few weeks - plus what my insurance company would pay. Excuse me, but you do not get to charge for services that you did NOT provide.

 If you are trying to get clients, do not ever be condescending about everyone else and tear them down. Always show yourself off for who and what you are, not destroy everything else around you so that you look better in comparison by hurting everyone else on purpose. 

 Number one rule in the professional field is to always be professional when speaking of other agencies, departments, clients, and professionals. Once you cross that line there is no going back, and you are blacklisted. 

She was extremely unprofessional, stretchy, and came across as if she only cared about the money instead of caring about her patients.