#finchelfics

[excerpt]

He’s gotta tell her. 

That crazy Spanish one-woman wrecking ball doesn’t pull her punches, and she seems to live to torment Rachel like a favorite pastime. She’s gonna blab if he doesn’t speak up first, he just knows it. His luck isn’t that great and his track record for breaking Rachel’s heart is even worse. So it’s gotta happen and it’s gotta be sooner rather than later before he loses the upper hand and any hope of saving his relationship with her... assuming he still can.

Six months. Almost six full months they’ve had together. Six months of falling, falling, falling so deep, deep, deep in love with this girl. Six months of happiness. He’d never known happiness like this. He’d never known how to love someone like this before Rachel. But he does now, so completely... and he’s in too deep; there’s no way back for him. He can’t lose her now, he just CAN’T. Like, that’s not even an option. And if she tries to walk away, he’s prepared to fight to win her back, whatever it takes. He’s not above groveling or begging. But if there’s any hope in hell of keeping her, he KNOWS she has to hear this from him.   

‘Cause he’s totally seen it from her side already. He remembers what it felt like when Rachel told him she’d done the deed with Jesse, and also what it felt like when she confessed to lying about it later. He knows that if it was Rachel who lied to him in this way, he’d be pretty crushed. If she’d said she hadn’t when she had and then hidden it for months into their relationship, he’d be really hurt, and like, maybe even uncontrollably pissed – at least for a little while. But he knows it’d be a hundred times worse if he heard something like that from St Jerkoff instead of his beautiful sweet girl. After the shit that went down with Quinn, Rachel not telling him the truth about something like that would probably devastate their relationship and kill his trust in her. So why should he expect her to feel any different about him not offering full disclosure?

If only he’d come clean when Rachel did. He had the perfect opening and didn’t take it, now he’s kicking himself. She was HONEST about her lie; that is, she had already confessed her sins to him. Of course, the difference between her lie and his is the difference between forgetting you bought a lotto ticket that turns out to be a jackpot winner and forgetting to unplug the George Foreman grill and burning the house down.

Why the fuck did Santana have to pull this bullshit powerplay with him again now anyway? Or at all? This doesn’t even make sense to him and he cannot get his head around WHY NOW. Then again, he didn’t have a very good grip on WHY THEN last year either, why she even approached him in the first place. 

[excerpt]

He lauded himself as a genius and fought the urge to actually pump a fist in the air celebrating his victory.

Bowling was pretty awesome, and he’d gotten what he wanted right? She agreed to come back to Glee, and now he could move on with his plans for getting that music scholarship Miss Pillsbury told him about. Then he could secure a future that would allow him to support a family.

Except for one nagging little problem... was that what his future was really meant to look like? Because like, no, he wasn’t the kind of douche who would just walk away from his responsibilities... but maybe what his future was supposed to look like was different than the view out of that corner he felt like he got painted into with Quinn’s words. And also, did he feel good about building or achieving a future based on these pretenses?

He could see one other possibility, but it all sort of depended on the girl sitting in the truck next to him. She was presently daintily licking at a vanilla soft serve cone, and watching her do it was making all the blood in his body travel to places it really shouldn’t go right now.