#finance guy

As you all know, my life happens in such a way that I'm either going on all the dates, or there's literally nobody checking for me. I was seriously crushing on this guy that I'd posted about previously but he started doing that man thing that no one has ever been able to explain to me - y'know - when they suddenly go from 100 - 0 and start acting all distant?

I agonised over it for a few days then deleted his number and reminded myself that my life is great regardless of my dating prowess. Anyhoo, so today I took a late lunch break at work by myself and as I sat eating my scotch egg and watching Nicki Minaj's new song on repeat (I'm a hood rat - sue me), this man sits down at my table and begins to talk to me. It turns out that he (let's call him Finance Guy; FG) has been trying to get my attention to no avail for a full fucking year. I'd seen him around (I share office space with a bunch of newspapers) but I'd never really noticed him because I generally have a zero office romance policy (apart from THAT one time :/). We spoke and he proceeded to ask me out on a date but as he was doing that...my phone suddenly went crazy annnnd...

IT WAS THE FUCKING BOSS. Not my boss, just The Boss - my first white guy date that was always flitting in and out of my life. I'd recently told him that he needed to be in or out as I genuinely hate inconsistency. He swore he'd make a change and apparently chose that darn second to make it. He asked me out on a date next Wednesday, to which I said no. He refused to take no for an answer and now - well we're going out next Thursday.

I literally ended this conversation when my phone went off again and it was Gabe (the aforementioned crush). 

Guys, why does it have to be this way? Can't the men just form an orderly line instead of rushing at me at one go like so?

I held back on this story for a while because I wasn't/am not 100% certain how I feel about it. So I may have shagged one of the guys I met in one of my more slaggish moments. We'll call him FG (Finance Guy) henceforth. Anyhoo, FG and I met on the final night in Houston (friend of a friend) and I was immediately attracted to him; partly because he was dressed impeccably and partly because he was fucking hilarious - mostly the latter. 

He had dreads which isn't usually my thing, but he was also rather hot so I let that slide. We met, we drank, we talked, we laughed, we kissed and generally hung around each other the whole night - much to the chagrin of his best mate who was super wasted and super creepy and took it upon himself to whisper "you're so sexy" in my ear WHILST I was snogging his mate. Guys, I've been in a lot of awkward situations, but nothing is more strange than that, because you have to extract your lips from their current position and address the person in your ear - BUT I DIGRESS.

So, long story short, at the end of the night, I went home with FG. We fooled around and I insisted on no sex (because I'm a lady) - but then mid way through our shenanigans, and I really hope someone knows what I'm on about - the horn took over me. So when he slapped on his latex, and teased erm my secret garden (or secret driveway as I was totes waxed), I didn't have time to think before we were promptly shagging and it was SO good that I lost all my arguments and went with it. Now, I keep telling you I'm new to the sex game, so I've never really 100% just gone for it - that time I did and my limbs lost pretty much all control and I was certain my head was going to spin off like so...

It was all too much for my shy vagina so I made him stop (that and the condom falling off) and he proceeded to give me head and I gave him my very first 'tit wank' as I believe they're called.

*Aside* - apparently, because I have huge knockers, it's a sin that I hadn't given a tit wank prior to this ripe old age. I for one, didn't get the big deal and honestly, I could have read a novel/watched a movie for that portion of the night. 

Back to the tale - I was a bit annoyed at myself for sexing when that wasn't my original intention, but it was good so I kinda got over it and forgot him (in as much as you forget someone you've shagged). So yeah, yesterday, he messaged me and was all 'I miss you, come back to Houston'. Then we FaceTimed and I was all 'whoa - he's hot' but good sex does not a lasting relationship make. Also, there's the distance thing - same issues as GIS apply and tbh, I actually prefer GIS. Soooo, here's the question:

Is it SO wrong if I speak to someone who I have only a little bit of interest in, purely because I'm bored and there's a chance of returning to Texas for all the good sex? I kinda like him a little so it's not so wrong - right?

Eharm: Creepy Finance Guy With Spreadsheet of Match.com 'Prospects' Says He Was Just Trying to Be Organized(via @Jezebel)

My headers would read:

Nickname (why bother with a real name)

Groper/Toucher/Other Inappropriate Behavior

Manner of departure (running away/taxi/fake IBS)

Ignore subsequent emails