#filled meme

What is your favorite part of being transgender?

just, being able to be myself, freely.  

How would you explain your gender identity to others?

trans guy

How did you come out? If you didn’t come out, why do you stay in the closet? 

I thought I’d stay closeted irl forever honestly.  it always seemed something I’d never be capable of.  coming out as trans was something incredibly strong people did.  people who were wiling to change their entire life.  well... I eventually became that person.

I first came out to my online friend Bsumo.  that was easy cuz they’re amazing, and we talked about gender so much anyway.  then I came out online, only on tumblr (I’ve been stealth online all my life).  after that, I personally told a few people irl I really trust.  next in line was my parents.  I had no idea how that would go.  but I was prepared to be rejected.  it went okay

then I had to come out at work.  I wanted to do that before making an announcement to my extended family via facebook to avoid anyone at work seeing it.  and that, was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  I’m very fortunate to work in a progressive organization, so I knew I’d be okay.  but it was hard.  I first told the CEO and our HR person.  it’s really, really hard to let the words out.  but I did it.  and the second I did, it was like... a floodgate.  like, there was absolutely no turning back at that moment and I loved it.  I told the rest of my coworkers in a meeting a few weeks later.  I gave them my new name and the pronouns they should use for me.  the older generation staff members had trouble getting the hang of it, but I didn’t meet any intentional resistance

I will say, you receive allyship and rejection in very unexpected places when you come out.  people you thought would support you that don’t.  people you thought would avoid you, reach out and advocate for you.  it was all quite an interesting experience.  

What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

none

What are your experiences with binding or tucking?

tried binding a few times before I had surgery.  I couldn’t stand to wear it more than 3 minutes.  it triggered a fight or flight response in my body for some reason.  like the panic you feel when your finger or limb gets stuck in something and your life flashes before your eyes as your mind overreacts thinking you’ll never escape.  I even cut a binder off with scissors once cuz I felt like I needed to get it off NOW.

Do you pass?

yeah, unless it’s over the phone lol!

What (if any) steps do you want to take to medically transition?

top surgery and T.  I woulda still been miserable to this day if I hadn’t gotten top surgery.  but I kinda took T on a whim.  see if I’d like it.  I’m glad I did, I really enjoy it.  out of all the changes I love my sideburns the most!

How long have you been out?

3 years!

How does your family feel about your trans identity?

frankly I don’t care lolol

Would you ever go stealth, and if you are stealth, why do you choose to be stealth?

I’m kinda in the middle.  I’m open about being trans online.  I pass irl so I’m pretty much stealth there to strangers.  but if anyone ever asked if I was trans, or if a trans discussion ever came up, or if I was just talking bout my past where it’s relevant to the story, I’d be fine revealing I’m not cis

What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

1) that no, people don’t secretly see you as a guy, 2) the term trans,  3) that you can get top surgery without any therapy involved (I thought I’d never be able to get it because of that, I resigned to that fact for so many years when I could’ve been arranging it!)

What’s your biggest trans-related fear?

lol I’m not sharing that

What do you wish cis people understood?

I honestly don’t think about that much

What impact has being trans affected your life?

it didn’t affect me much til puberty.  before puberty I sorta deluded myself into thinking everyone around me secretly regarded me as a boy but weren’t allowed to show it.  when puberty came my life ended.  dysphoria really made me suffer all through my 20s.  and I always hated being seen and treated the way people did.  I’ve never ever disliked being trans.  it’s always been me.  but now I live so fully and happily.  I love being trans

How do you feel about trans representation in media?

I really do not want it unless a trans person is the one creating it.

Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

can I say myself? lolol

How are you involved with the trans community, IRL or online?

making/reblogging trans posts is the extent of what I do.  I did do a few things irl--helped carry a huge trans flag during pride once.  it was an amazing experience, but way too overwhelming for me lol.  tried going to our trans masculine group at my local lgbt center but had a bad experience with one of the members there, and he later became the group facilitator so lol

How do you see yourself identifying and presenting in 5 years?

same as I do now

What trans issue are you most passionate about?

trans youth having all the info they need to be aware of themselves and make decisions about their own lives

What is your sexual and romantic orientation, and what are your thoughts on it?

I’m aroace and it’s amazing!  I love being ace!  being both trans and ace made me wonder how the heck my life’d pan out in terms of having a partner.  cuz I did always want one.  but I thought I’d have a pretty low chance of finding someone I liked (I don’t like many people LOL) who also embraced and understood both my transness and aceness.  and who made it simple and easy for us on both ends.  maybe the chance was low, but I got the perfect partner now ❤

How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a childAlhanin:

to stop goofing off and do her chores, she was fairly good about doing things since she was Mom’s Little Helper when they weren’t with the clan and had that Be Good and Do Things mentality really early so she could help mom out but she’s always been really bad about stopping her chores to goof around with children.

Féwena:

to stop arguing or fighting or picking on someone. she was a tiny terror.

Inanallas:

to stop wandering off. to start their homework, do chores, try playing with the other kids more. the sort of things you’d tell a daydreamy child to do/not do. 

Tace:like, everything. stop back talking, stop trying to skip class, stop lying, stop reading above your approved level like– just think of what someone could tell a kid to stop doing in the circle/a circle like environment and he got it.11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?Alhanin:

asks questions like a functional grown ass adult until she’s sure she gets it. Especially when it’s really important. if it’s not too big of a deal might just let it slide tho.

Féwena:

basically interrogates, them/whoever’s available and is like Weirdly Annoyed she’s confused. But she’s always kinda >:| so  but yeah also tends to get progressively more snappish and heated as she asks questions for literally no reason. she’s just too salty to act normal.

Inanallas: 

depends on who’s involved, if it’s someone they know p well they’ll just ask them for clarification. but if it’s a stranger or someone they consider intimidating or something like that they’ll either look around fervently for someone like Thenvas, who they know and will see the confused terror in their eyes and know what to do, or feigns understanding long enough to scamper over to one of their friends and plead for help.

Tace:

gets really mad and petty for no fucking reason and bitches while asking questions then cuts them off from explaining to bitch more. or just doesn’t fucking care and ignores that the interaction even happened bc like, he wasn’t gonna do jack shit with that anyway.

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?Alhanin: greens, especially olive-y ones. it certainly doesn’t look like shit but idk if it’s the best since she and few’s coloring is basically “different shades of red/red-orange”

Féwena: deep reds, darker colors, olive green, basically Edge Lord Colors generally. Overall yup on point tho idk how good the red and green are since her coloring is so red, more red is possibly just too much and green runs a risk of gross.

Inanallas: light blues. it does actually look very good on them and helps soften how pale they are while highlighting their eyes. also makes them seem more approachable and less spooky which the tattoos tend to do.

Tace: Every Color Bitch. he’s…. well he’s arrogant but he’s technically not wrong. his best colors tho are pastels and saturated colors, they really pop on him.

33. Could they be considered lazy? 

Alhanin:

only in her wildest fucking dreams, she likes to pretend at being the lazy lovable rogue but nope she’s a lil worker bee.

Féwena:

kinda, she certainly doesn’t lift a finger if she doesn’t see why she should.

Inanallas:

they can seem lazy, but it’s all the mental anguish keep them from getting things done. It was big problem in their inq au to manage their image, thenvas was doing all the inquisitorial work in skyhold (so basically running the whole dang thing) in their stead while inan still did all the field and in person work. it was month before they could even bare to leave their room after they got made inquisitor. it can take them ages to get anything done and to others it can look like their total slackers and completely irresponsible but the reality is they’re grappling with themselves over what to do.

Tace:

lol YUPPPPPPP. tace is HILARIOUSLY LAZY. he HATES working or doing ANYTHING and loves lounging around. to be fair, a good part of that tho is just like complete and total burn out in effect. but he also genuinely fucking hates like, all the kinda academia-esque shit the circles did and would just Not fucking do it bc Fuck You and go take a nap instead. even when he was in his poorly thought out affair with anders in his da canon verse and helping at the clinic he was forever moaning and groaning and whining.

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

Alhanin:

Honestly fairly easy. it’s a bit difficult to explain exactly but for Al, giving people a chance and not holding them to their flaws, thinking the best of them (within reason) is natural and also an important part of her whole philosophy. compulsive lying is bad, but the reason someone does it could be to protect themselves from something worse, so it’s important not to immediately judge or write people off because of flaws or actions and to reserve judgement until you know more and to always be willing to give people another chance. but at the same time, alhanin is always involved in the justice system somehow and is forever looking for people’s flaws and any/all potential red flags that they’re genuinely Bad or will just do it all again. So she’s both willing to forgive a lot but also ready to pin people at the drop of a hat.

Féwena:

depends on the flaws, if it’s one she finds unforgivable and/or annoying then NOPE and she will beat you up for it, mentally/emotionally or physically. otherwise she’s pm lets things slide until someone else says their not okay w/ something or w/e. she’s aware she’s really not in a position to throw stones most of the time since she’s a belligerent,  kinda xenophobic/bigoted/anti-human aggressive asshole (tho it doesn’t stop her from ridin’ that high horse around town whoops).

Inanallas:

kinda, it’s harder for them when they’re younger and things always feel more dire or visceral and they hyper focus on and distort the negatives but it gets better as they get older and they understand more about life and other people. post-trespasser or the au appropriate exp/age equivalent is very good at being kind and forgiving flaws, even when they’ve personally been hurt because of them. standard inan, which is aprox dai inan (usually pre-skyhold or near to the end bc of the Dark Zone) is very mixed and sporadic about it and hypocritical, clearly still trying to come to terms with how some flaws are okay, some are not, and how extremely situational that can be.

Tace:

TACE DOES NOT FORGIVE SHIT. TACE DOES NOT FORGET SHIT.

He fucking remembers every last fucking flaw a person’s got and will hold them against them until he fucking dies you can try and pull this from his cold dead hands and even then it won’t budge. even once he’s basically married to keshet and living in domestic bless he still is hilariously petty and loses his mind about all of keshet’s flaws (and tbh keshet exaggerates some, like the shitty jokes, just to rile him up), it’s kinder when it’s with people he likes/cares for, like Keshet and CONSIDERABLY less frequent and nicer when it’s someone he cares about and is Highly Sensitive like Thenvunin bc he’s not trying to make them feel bad. but he’s still judging, silently, in his Heart, and then out loud at home over wine while keshet very Obviously ignores him.

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?Alhanin: ye ye, al is super chill and encouraging so that’d be cool. we’d get on just fine.

Féwena: there’s a chance we could but it’d be rocky there for a while, few is Rough to deal with sometimes and has a very brusk personality.

Inanallas: we’d get on really well and also overshare and cry a lot it’d be a sad lil tiny losers weeping club. inan would probably ask me to draw them shit all the time.

Tace: i have noooooo fucking idea. it’s hard to tell who tace will tolerate until he meets them. i’d probably wanna be friends w/ him but be too scared to talk to him bc he’s so INTENSE and he’d be like w/e, too busy losing his mind over shit elsewhere.H) What trait do you admire most?

Alhanin: 

how committed she is, how deeply she takes being Fair and Just to heart, how genuinely altruistic she is and how dauntless she is.

Féwena: 

her fire, passion and tenacity and her total fearlessness to stand up to anyone over anything. and her ability to actually control that somewhat so she doesn’t go completely out of control.

Inanallas: 

their bravery to push through and find a way to do things they need to even while scared shitless and the seriousness they treat things with when they finally accept responsibility or even if they haven’t accepted it yet. when they got made inquisitor they knew they were the worst choice objectively for a myriad of practical reasons and when thenvas arrived immediately began basically therapy w/ him and gave him pm all her responsibility bc he WAS the best choice and he knew her well enough to be able to help get them functioning again so they could do right by this shit.

Tace: