#fikkir

in the first verse, iamx establishes the themes of the song: the conflict between prolonged sadness, an internal and external draw to anger, and the desire to be kind despite it. this is a sentiment that can resonate with many- often communities reward you for throwing others under the bus and encouraging others to do the same, and penalize you for cooperation and consideration, despite preaching the opposite. think of tiktokers farming millions of likes off of ragebait, while someone sharing a strangers act of kindness rarely leaves their own followers; think of news outlets over-reporting all the worst the world has to offer, leaving the good to be shared through word of mouth between friends and mutuals, and perhaps indie news networks if youre lucky; think of mass harassment campaigns against someone whos done little else than be transgender or kinky in public generating more interaction and renown than whoevers being harassed ever got on their own. the speaker also establishes the recurring idea of sorrow as a sustainer with the lyric "the burning sadness has become my home", that sorrow, despite the pain it brings, is so common in the speakers life, so familiar and frequent, that it feels like home, that its absence would be perhaps more painful than its presence.

in the prechorus, the evocative imagery of a fading self combined with the howling of coyotes in mountain wilderness brings to mind the common associations of wilderness with becoming lost, both physically and emotionally, and coyote howls with mourning. additionally, the lyrics "every second i disappear / i feel my senses dying" can be read as the speakers death, and since hearing is the last sense to go in death, the lyric "hollywood coyotes crying" may imply that the last thing the speaker experiences in life is the coyotes mourning their death, when perhaps nobody else does.

in the chorus, the speaker refers to sorrow highly: "you are my light / everything my heart desires" and "keeping me sane / you turn my nights into days". this ties into the first verse, "the burning sadness has become my home", sharing a theme of sadness, sorrow, as a comfort and necessity, being desired, bringing light to the speakers life, and also keeping them sane, being their home. they also repeat the phrase "beautiful anger", loving it and asking to be shown it, which parallels the lines about sorrow. both present an emotion generally seen as negative, bad, and to be eliminated, as not just wanted, but loved, beautiful. in the chorus, the speaker repeats, over and over and over, that they love, cherish, and value these things that others often see as undesirable.

the first part of the second verse references being extremely overwhelmed: giving up, drowning, being hungry. the speaker is collapsing under the weight of their own past, their knees buckling, a step away from succumbing to the pressure. but in the second part of this verse, sorrow returns, creating a safe haven where the speakers past can be set aside and they can find some relief. the beauty that the speaker finds within sorrow also returns, with the separation it creates from the speakers past being a sort of saving grace for the speaker, lifting them from the edge of despair and giving them relief.

the outro is short but sweet; the speaker seems to address sorrow directly, thanking it without thanking it, for saving them from losing themself. they return to the phrase that has been repeated throughout the song, "you turn my nights into days", indicating how sorrow returns light to the life of the speaker, but in a different way of reading, indicating how sorrow is a constant companion of the speaker, "turning their nights into days" simply by time passing.