@fiiorire asked ! : one phone call was all it took. no other matters were more important than this โ- giorno foregoing responsibilities in order to rush here, heart pounding in his chest. as he arrived and they trekked towards okuyasu's bedroom, giorno couldn't help the anxiety which ate away at him, subtly betrayed by how fingers now dug into the mattress they were sitting on. "what is it you called here me for, okuyasu?"
WAS IT the right thing to call giorno ? thumbs twiddled with each other as feet paced back and fourth - an endless cycle of walking around decrepit floorboards that squeaked under his very weight. constantly fidgeting with hands as he walked from window to door to bed , mind occupied with whether or not he wanted to truly bare his heart out so openly. but , who else could i turn to ?
THE KNOCK against heavy door rang through the empty house , startling the male more than he ever had been before. heavy footsteps thudded down stairs and swung wooden door open - being greeted with familiar face that calmed down okuyasu , grounding him and erratic thoughts that never ceased to end. no exchange was needed , bringing the other into a profound hug with arms almost crushing giorno within his very grasp before intertwining fingers and dragging the both of them up steep steps.
HAND LET go of the others as the blonde sat down on bedding , the actuality of the situation setting in. still , he paced for a moment as mind collected thoughts - okuyasu lost in emotions that only further confused him as they drudged themselves up every moment since ... that day. that day he lost everything.
' i - i promise i brought you here for a good reason , i just ... i don't know where else to turn to , giorno. '
TEETH GRIT together as emotions start to run high from even one sentence , the piercing feeling of sharp nails digging into rugged palms as a means to ground oneself. a shaky soft sigh left lips before taking a sudden seat next to giorno , eyes focused on hands as he blankly stared at the indents nails left within skin.
' and ... i feel like , of all people ... i can trust you. 'specially with secrets ---- -- particularly ones about family. i don't think i could even tell josuke , ya' know ? '
A HALF - HEARTED chuckle left okuyasu , though it was hardly a little laugh. perhaps as a means to lighten the mood , but ... it more so about okuyasu himself struggling to confront such dreadful thoughts and
' i never thought ... i'd feel so lost without keicho's guidance. did you know he did most everything for me ? from buying ice cream as kids to even just last year ... when i blinded followed him just because i had no where else to turn to ---- -- despite knowing the harm he was causing towards strangers. '
CONFRONTING SUCH feelings almost became too much to bear - the sensation of eyes slowly becoming hot and watery as nails dug back into palms. the relationship shared with his brother was complex , and thinking about all the conflicting faucets about it only made it harder. oh , how he still revered his brother in a positive light - despite how his actions later in keicho's life resembled that of their brutish father.
' but i followed. i followed because i loved him , and i trusted him like no other. especially how he protected me from ... f - from the abuse we suffered at the hand of our father. and now ? i sit alone in this house , reliving the day i lost him , knowing my father is still here and he isn't. '
TEARS STARTED to fall over scarred cheeks , vision becoming foggy as eyes tried to merely blink them away. it all bubbled up in ways never thought before - watching how tears spilled onto hands.
' but , maybe it's for the better he isn't here. all the suffering he had inflicted on people ---- -- in the hopes they could gain a stand that would kill our father ... it - it just became too much. and i ... i didn't always believe in his cause. i never liked our father that much , but i never believed he should die. i thought - if anything , maybe when we turned him back to normal ... and he'd realize how wrong he was , and we'd go back to how things were before our mom died. '
OH , HOW the nostalgia for his youth always clouded better judgement , reminiscing on how warm and loving past used to be before the death of late mother - struggling to let go of such love ... one that used to be fond and genuine. it only caused more streams of tears to fall down hot cheeks , struggling to let sobs completely take over.
' a - and now ...? i feel like i can't do anything right without keicho ---- -- even after his death ... i still find myself asking 'what would keicho do in this situation ?' almost everyday whenever i need some kind of guidance. it makes me wonder if i'll ever get over what happened between my father and dio , and how keicho had to step up for me. '
BREATHS BECAME stuttered , fingers curling into stiff fabric of pants as tears ladened lap. eyes hardly strayed from the sight of his hands despite wanting to show vulnerability to giorno , wanting to be loved even with flaws and ghost of his family forever looming over okuyasu.
