#fightforme

And I was typing “fuck” and I sang

“Woah. You can fuck real good” instead of “punch real good”

So today was my last me day for awhile. I had a slow start to the day and got a call from an old friend. He was the first boyfriend I ever had in 7th grade. We never even kissed it was so innocent back then. We grow up and life fucks us both up but we stayed in contact many years later. So every once in a while we check in on each other and talk. It was a nice start to the day. We talked about the struggles our kids are going through. It was nice. We decided to talk more often to not let years go by without checking in. I’m glad I still have people in my life that care about me when so many has abandoned me. 

After painting and the gym today I ended up watching two Hallmark romance movies. I hate when I do that, I get sucked in to the romance and then just get sad. I have never had anyone fight for me like they do in those movies. The girl gets scared and leaves the man. In these movies the man actually cares about the girl so much he doesn’t let her leave without fighting for her. He does a grand romantic gesture to prove he loves her regardless of her fears of staying. She accepts and they kiss and live happily ever after. Ha this isn’t real life. I walk away from men I do care about and they just get mad and/or simply accept it. They let me walk away because they never really cared about me enough to fight to keep me. No one has fought for me. I have never really been loved by any man. Not even my ex husband, he told me the day he wanted out. He said he has never been in love before (until he met her). What a feeling is that. Fifteen years with a man that never loved you. Which is why I walk away hoping someone will follow. I have people that love me in a friendship sort of way but i’m sure wouldn’t think twice about letting me go if someone better comes along.