#fieldwork fic

I've been saying it for years. More than five of them, at least. I've been saying I'm gonna finish Fieldwork... and I just did.

In my mind, it was always going to end with Korra going to RC and there being a companion fic from Korra's POV where they realize Hiroshi's dirty and they have to shut down FI. It was what I was foreshadowing in the dream Asami had when she imagined Korra as Kuruk fighting against Hiroshi taking prisoners. But other than it being a 'hey wouldn't it be interesting if...' I never actually _planned_ to write it.

A few months ago, I was thinking about rewriting Fieldwork knowing what I wanted it to say now, with all the cultural and thematic things I realized a little too late baked in from the beginning. I outlined it and thought to change it to Asami and Varrick both coming down with Varrick trying to use Future Industries funding to steal the power source the Kikuk use for heating and light (which was actually supposed to have _some_ significance... THAT is what they would have been after. Well, and the medicine if they'd learned about it.) Varrick would have died from his own hubris fairly early on and Asami would have had to throw herself on the mercy of the people she'd been warned to stay away from. She'd eventually find out Varrick had been secretly in communication with Hiroshi via a radio, and when contact was stopped, Hiroshi would come down to stage a rescue, try to steal the rocks, etc., and there would be some kind of three-way conflict between Korrasami, Hiroshi, and Unalaq.

But I never did find the drive to actually write it. And having this specter of a fic looming over me, telling me to finish it was making it hard for me to really commit to writing anything else. Rhapsody and I have been kicking around ideas for books for years now, and we never really got anywhere because I needed to finish this first.

Now, though, we have an idea we're both excited about that feels like we already know most of the main characters, the plot beats, the themes, etc.... and the 10th anniversary of Korrasami becoming canon is in ... idk like 26 hours from now. I thought maybe, just maybe, this was enough to kick my ADHD-fueled writer's block in the ass and just... do it.

And I did. After nine and a half years, a hurried move to Texas where I lost my hard drive and all my notes, another instance of losing all my notes again when I moved to another place in Texas, and a rushed move to California, dropping out of my attempted master's in anthropology, a divorce, a custody battle, starting my own company, discovering much more about myself that I didn't know, and moving in with a QPP that I found in the comments of this very fic... I finally finished it. It's not perfect, it feels a little rushed, a little like I'm sure I forgot to tie up some loose end that I've forgotten about over the years, but it's done. I can put it to rest.

I'm not ready to post- I need to sleep on it and proof/edit it with fresh eyes tomorrow, but I'll be posting it tomorrow night on the 10th anniversary of Korrasami becoming canon.

I think I figured it out... I keep saying I'll finish Fieldwork, and I've meant it every time. But I'm stuck on the end because I've lost all my notes twice and recreating my original intent with only what I have on AO3 is hard as fuck. But here's the thing... who says I have to finish what I originally intended?

There have been a few points in time where I've realized something five chapters or 40 chapters in that makes more sense and would have been thematically, culturally, historically, or aesthetically more appropriate and I'd wished that I had thought of it (and incorporated it) sooner.

So instead of 'finishing' my original intended story by trying to piece together puzzle pieces, why not... rewrite it with my better handle of what the story wants to say? With a more cohesive ending borne of a more thorough production cycle (rather than an five-year break)? With a production that includes saving my shit to the cloud so I don't lose it all AGAIN?

So I guess the real question is... do I add to the existing Fieldwork with a 'sorry, we're starting over' notice on chapter 1 and 55? or do I create a new Fieldwork? I have to admit... there's part of me that doesn't want to give up the fact that I have front-page listing when sorted by kudos.

Hello, hello, it’s time for my irregularly scheduled apology post. Last time I updated, I explained that my desktop had bricked itself with a hard drive failure, but that I was going to TRY to finish it anyway. Then I didn’t.

I got home from @tgifemslash last week with renewed motivation and a goal to finish it before next con. I spent the last few days re-reading the entire 87k word fic and all 1300 comments, taking notes, rebuilding my plans, and basically trying to reconstruct the end of this fic. 

Then I wrote a new outline to finish the last few chapters. 

I’m gonna finish this damn thing. 

There’s a little voice in my head that says nobody’s reading KA fic anymore, that nobody will read a fic that’s been a WIP for 3.5 years, that anyone still subscribed will just send the email to the trash without clicking (which is totally not what i myself am guilty of after my subscription list got too damn big to handle anymore) But then I remember there are over six hundred “active” subscribers on Fieldwork and 40-something author subs and 1300 comments, probably 60% of which are not mine and people in my ear telling me to finish and random commenters STILL stopping by to say hi and I remember how much I love this fic and what I want to do with it once it’s done and that...

I JUST HAVE TO FINISH IT.

I know what happens. I’ve rebuilt enough of my notes to make it work.

I’m just scared. Endings are hard, but they’re scary too. All along I’ve taken everyone on a ride saying “I know this hurts, but stick with it. It’ll be worth it.” “I know this looks bad, but it’ll all be ok in the end.” And what if it isn’t? And what is it going to be like once it’s done? This has been part of my life for 3.5 years. I’ve always had trouble finishing things. Maybe it’s why I’m so proud of myself for having now 69 completed xbox games. I get distracted, I get invested in other things, but I also just get scared. 

But the time for fear is over. I have other projects that will sustain me. Once Fieldwork’s done, I have Holy Knight and my D&D game to write for. I’m going to rewrite Fieldwork to fit in the Holy Knight universe to be part of a series of novels with different genres and different times and characters in the same universe. Finishing it isn’t an end. It’s a beginning.