#fics to write

The new mandalorian government is restored and Bo-Katan (or perhaps Korkie if he’s old enough by then) is temporarily placed as the leader because Satine cannot rule. She can barely get out of her bed, and she no longer responds to most people. When Korkie talks to her, she reaches to caress his head but she doesn’t speak. When Bo-Katan tries to reach out, Satine is entirely unresponsive. Bo tries to speak softer than she ever has, and when it doesn’t work she tries shouting and pleading and yelling at Satine because despite all of their differences, she wants her sister back goddamnit!

Obi-Wan visits too. He’s still busy with the war, but he can’t abandon Satine. At first she doesn’t speak, but she always at least looks at him when he talks to her. Except her eyes no longer have that spark they always had. He can no longer read her emotions in the Force. It’s like she doesn’t have any emotions anymore. But when he reaches for her, she moves closer to his touch, when he hugs her she buries her face in his neck and stays there for as long as they have time.

Slowly, she begins to talk again, but it’s clear that mentally she’s terribly. The first word she speaks is to Korkie. She says his name. Bo-Katan tries to have a conversation with her later, but she ends up frustrated when Satine stops answering to her.

By the time Obi-Wan receives the news and finds time to visit, Satine is talking again. But she feels terrible. When Obi-Wan arrives, she’s cold with him, she tells him that after taking lives she doesn’t deserve affection, that she feels numb, she cannot function like she used to. She hasn’t felt a single emotion since she dropped her weapons. Her look is as empty as the eyes of those she had to kill. And when Obi-Wan begs her to let him help because he misses her so terribly, she says that ever since he left from Mandalore all those years ago, she’s being trying to get over him, and turns out the solution was to stop feeling altogether. She feels nothing, and so she cannot feel for him.

Obi-Wan cannot name a time he has cried before, and yet in that moment his vision blurs from the tears he didn’t know he was able to produce. Because if they had even the tiniest chance at happiness after the war, it’s now gone, and he blames himself for it. He visits Satine again and again after this. It breaks his heart, but he struggles to let go of her. He’s gotten attached. And she seems to be a little better every time he visits. She no longer gets lost in her mind, and she responds more often.

When the war ends, Obi-Wan visits again. Satine hugs him and whispers that she missed him. He’s missed her too, more than she can possibly know. They stay quiet, and Obi-Wan misses their old bickering and the fights they’d have because at least then he could sense that Satine felt something. Now… she’s getting better, but she still feels empty.

She asks him to stay that night. She takes him to her bed and cuddles close to him, and Obi-Wan spends most of the night awake trying to understand through the Force what happened to his lover and how to help her. He loves her. He spend so long denying it yet now he can admit it proudly. It might be too late, but he can speak it at last. He loves the woman in his arms.

Satine could not explain what brought her back, but that night she could feel Obi-Wan’s love, so warm yet intense, awakening her from the lethargy she’d been living. She knew it would take a long time before she stopped feeling like a corpse, like the corpses she had created, but that day she woke up with a strange feeling that a saner mind might call hope. And when Obi-Wan caressed her cheek and whispered good morning, she smiled. She hadn’t realized how long it had been since she had last smiled, until Obi-Wan looked at her with such joy, because he had missed her smile, and he had missed this look in her eyes, he had missed her. And for the first time in months, Satine feels. She’s not certain what she’s feeling, but it’s a positive thing. She moves closer to Obi-Wan, and his touch feels great. She kisses him, and she had indeed missed the feeling of his lips. She calls his name, his nickname, Ben. And he smiles, and Satine knows there is still hope in the world.

Later that day she calls Bo-Katan, who is shocked to find her sister walking around the palace rooms arranging everything that’s out of place and making a list of matters she needs to check. In the end of the day Bo and Obi-Wan have to join forces to convince Satine that she needs to stop this and rest.

1. For just a few precious days, they get to experience what a relationship would be like, which makes it extra painful when the old Frieren comes back. Afterwards, Himmel was subsequently caught doing some very strange habitual lovey things that Frieren just shrugged off as his quirks.

2. A) she hides it from him to spare him the pain of knowing that that version of her won't exist while he's alive, so now is it a self-fulfilling prophecy?

B) Frieren hides her feelings as she thinks it's hopeless because of... drum roll... unrequiteness. Still an emotional dum dum, she believes Himmel is just nice to her because he's such a nice person in general, and that's why everyone loves him. Although this nice person just lets you cut their hair when you make up an excuse for why you were lovingly running your fingers through it the third time this week.