#fhyp

I’d been hanging off Harry and his impassioned words so intently, only for them to halt promptly in their tracks. It was like slow motion, his sudden pause and the way his jaw suddenly tightened up, the way he released the light grasp he’d had on my cheeks to straighten up. His gaze wasn’t on me anymore, instead trained right behind me where upon turning around I saw that Zayn had just come out of my bedroom with his joggers hung low and sleep still present in his eyes.

I was in trouble.

@cheesewithchips - FHYP

3/3

“You’re immune to women in clothes straight from New York Fashion Week trying to move to you?”

He shrugged his shoulders, wildly indifferent. “Not interested.”

Good answer, I thought to myself.

I bit down on my bottom lip to hide my smile, pushing through Harry’s unruly curls. “Why?” I prodded further. “Even I’d be tempted, I think.”

Harry rolled his eyes, licking his lips and rolling them together as he moved up, close enough that our noses brushed against one another’s teasingly. My eyes had already closed as one of his hands molded firm against my cheek, his breath tickling me as he answered, “You want me to be?”

A foolish question in hindsight, because I was very certain that I wanted Harry Styles all to myself.

@cheesewithchips - FHYP

chapters 11-18

2/3

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So, after re-reading FHYP for like the fifth time, I realized there is no harry´s fauxstagram and decided to make one hehe

hope you like it queen @cheesewithchips

Once again, it’s the angst that’s at the heart of everything, I guess, lmao — this scene from chapter 23 is the very first scene I wrote for FHYP, and it’s the core of the misunderstanding I built the whole fic around.

—

“You said you were in love, Foggy, you said— You weren’t lying when you said it, so why…”

And Matt sounds so gutted that another truth spills from Foggy’s lips, no matter how ill-advised it is.

“I said I was in love, Matt,” he explains with a shrug. “I didn’t say I was in love with Jo.”

“You didn’t say you were in love with—!” Matt repeats bitterly, cutting off with an inarticulate noise of anger. “All the, all the things you got mad at me for hiding, and then you turn around and— and lie right to my face?”

“Because I knew you’d react like this, Matt! I know what I’m getting into, ok, I know what I’m agreeing to!”

“And you’re—you’re fine with that? With just— She won’t make you happy, Foggy!”

And, god, even now, Matt’s just… So beautiful. The way he stands, how he holds himself, the expressiveness of his mouth, the color of his eyes. All of it aches to see because all of it feels like home. Even when Foggy’s sure that if he were the one with supersenses, all Matt’s heartbeat would tell him is not-yours, not-yours, not-yours.

Foggy laughs, but the sound is acidic, sharp. He can’t feel his own anger, but it seeps into his voice anyway, every terrible part of himself that’s tired of knowing he can’t have what he really wants.

“Oh, suddenly my happiness is so important!” he retorts, can see the words hitting their mark in the way Matt flinches. “I’m not like you, Matt. I—”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” demands Matt, throwing out an arm in frustration. “What, what does that even mean?”

“It means I can’t just go after whatever I want and damn the consequences, Matt! Sometimes, things just aren’t that simple! This is the best that I can do, with the situation I’m in. Jo is the same way.”

“No,” Matt insists sullenly. “No. Foggy, you’re—you’re wrong. You’re so good and you deserve someone you love, who’ll love you too. It doesn’t, I never asked you to make that deal for Daredevil, for me. I never would have asked you to do that!”

It says a lot about Matt, Foggy thinks, that he’s still so insistent on this. That Foggy’s a good person even when Matt was always their North Star, their moral compass. But Foggy knows the things about himself that Matt’s metaphorical rose-tinted glasses won’t let him see. And anyway…

“There’s only one person I could ever love like that,” Foggy says, wryly, the punchline to a ten-year joke they both know by heart. “And they’d never love me back. If I can’t have what I really want, I might as well get something out of it. That’s just how it is, Matt.”

There it is. All of Foggy’s carefully cultivated plausible deniability, out the window. Out a thirty-story window into heavy traffic, basically, because not only has Foggy admitted that yeah Matt’s super-secret supersenses are right on the money and Foggy is in love with him, he’s also admitted that he could never see himself loving anyone else like that. There’s no chance Foggy will ever totally move on, no chance for Matt to have the simple platonic relationship between them that he wants – one that isn’t constantly characterized by them both trying to ignore Foggy’s stupid lovelorn heartbeat.

Matt recoils at those words. The wounded expression in his sightless eyes tells Foggy he’s being cruel again, too cruel to this man he thought he’d never be able to live without. Who he’s currently failing to live without, if they’re all honest. Blaming Matt for not being in love with him is stupid. It’s… Best to just let it lie.

“Foggy—”

Because in the end… Matt’s his best friend. What Foggy wants more than anything, even more than for Matt to love him back, is for Matt to just be happy.

“Nevermind. I shouldn’t have… We’re still… I still want…” Foggy sighs, lets his shoulders sag. “Just. This isn’t me leaving you, ok, this isn’t—I’m going to walk out that door and I’m not going to hold you to anything, but I’m not leaving you. You don’t have to come to the wedding if you don’t want to, Matt,” Foggy tells him gently. “It’s ok. I’ll get someone else to fill in for you. But after it’s over, if… You’re still my best friend, man, you can always… I mean, I’m… I just… I need you to know that.”

Some small, weak, hopeful part of Foggy stalls him in the entryway, convinces him to wait. To see what Matt will say. But after a minute of silence, of looking at Matt’s painfully conflicted expression, Foggy can’t take anymore. If there is going to be an answer, he thinks, he probably doesn’t want to hear it. Whatever could possibly follow the look on Matt’s face, it isn’t good.

Rightttt, let’s do a (kinda) brief little recap of the past three chapters:

26: This was the play chapter when Birdy finally gets to play Cosette in Les Mis. In essence, harry had first believed that he wasn’t going to be able to go to Birdy’s opening night and Birdy was bummed but she let it go because Harry was only missing it because he had to go to an S&T auction. Birdy’s family all comes into town and major heads show up for the Les Mis show including members of the West End Les Mis cast and Eddie Redmayne who played a main character in the Les Mis movie adaptation. At the end of the play, Birdy goes around and gets her accolades and flowers from her friends. Zayn comes and gives her roses and before he can tell her something, her family interrupts. At the end of the chapter, Birdy talks to Eddie Redmayne with Lena Waverly present trying to ruin the moment. But at the last second, she sees that Harry was able to make the second half of the show (and comes with her fave flowers - red carnations) and is extremely happy and grateful that he (out of everyone) got to see her in her element.

27: Les Mis has been going on for almost two weeks and is close to wrapping soon and Birdy has been immensely busy, as has Harry so they haven’t really seen each other in recent times. Finals are in session and it’s just a lot going on in UCL/King’s College world. The gang ends up coming to Marjorie’s to celebrate Les Mis getting a raving review in the school’s magazine, with Birdy getting a long paragraph praising her performance. Later, there’s a little shindig at Stanza but Harry isn’t in attendance, so Birdy’s kind of bummed about this. Louis tells Birdy he’s going to break up with Darcy because the spark isn’t there and also because he believes that she has feelings for Niall. Birdy gets a phone call from Kenton Styles asking her to come into his office the next day. When she goes, they chat for a bit before he makes his true motives known - that he wants Birdy to try and convicne Harry to take an internship over the summer at Goldman Sachs. Birdy tells Kenton that he should realize how amazing Harry is and not try to pressure him into something that he may not want to do and should stop comparing him to his brother (who died when H was 14 in a car accident). Then she finds Harry at King’s library where he tells her that he’s been AWOL mainly because it was the anniversary of his brother Chris’ death and he usually secludes himself. But he decides to open up more about his brother to Birdy for hours and afterwards they talk about the Goldman Sachs internship and about another potential internship with RCA Records that would have Harry in New York for half the summer. The interviews for both Goldman Sachs and RCA are in New York and at the end of the chapter, Harry asked Birdy to come with him.

28: This is the famous New York chapter (and the longest chapter I’d ever written) where Birdy finally gets to see the city that she always loved. Harry takes Birdy to a hotel that his parents always loved that has an amazing view of the city. Day one starts off a little rough with them talking about potentially having to end their little fake relationship and sleeping in two rooms but it slowly gets better. Day two they hit the MoMA and other New York landmarks and they end the day in Times Square. Birdy tells Harry that she’s trying to talk to her dad again, which she never thought she’d end up doing and they end up seeing a light show when the clock hits 12. Day three is when Harry has his interviews at Goldman Sachs and RCA and Birdy reassures him from the pool. When she’s there she meets a young man called Mateo who shamelessly flirts and invites her and Harry to a club in Brooklyn. Harry comes back from his interviews feeling confident and later they go out that night. They each hit it off with different people (Birdy with Mateo and Harry with this girl named Reign that he shares musical interest with). Birdy ends up telling Reign that Harry has a girlfriend out of jealousy and then declines an offer to go home with Mateo because of Harry. Then the next day is Birdy’s birthday and they spend it shopping and then Harry surprises her with tickets to her favorite show on Broadway (Mamma Mia). Then they end the night together, tipsy off wine and have sex and when they’re pillow talking after that Birdy finally brings up the fact that they’ll talk about what everything means when they get back to London. (big deal cause Birdy usually runs away from everything!!)