𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒉𝒍𝒚 𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝑴𝒆𝒏𝒖

The monthly menu for March, as curated by CHEF DE CUISINE Fulgence Carême, will be available for a limited time alongside the regular menu with meat, fish, vegetarian, as well as vegan options for our staff.

BREAKFAST (6AM - 10:30 AM)

Sausage Royale Croissant Roll with cheddar cheese, beef sausage patty, two strips bacon, fried egg. Garnished with dill and parsley. With spiced ketchup to taste.

Salmon Belly Royale Croissant Roll with wild salmon, crème fraîche, spinach and collard green hollandaise, topped with ikura-style salmon roe and salmon skin cracklings.

Mushroom Royale Croissant Roll (V) with grilled portobello, cremini, and king oyster mushrooms, crispy shallots, onion jam, and a herby rosemary sauce.

LUNCH (12 PM - 5 PM)

Cheese & Leek Croquettes with yukon gold potatoes, confit pearl onions, and black garlic chips.

Soft-shell Crab Tempura Burger with deep-fried whole soft-shell crab, pickled cabbage, sorrel, arugula, iceberg lettuce, ponzu vinaigrette or parmesan mayo. Comes with old bay fries.

Heirloom Tomato Preserve Flatbread (V) with arkansas traveler, aunt ruby's german green, hillbilly, and purple calabash varieties. Comes with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dip.

DINNER (5 PM - CLOSE)

Slow-roasted Pistachio Lamb with mint and pistachio crusted lamb leg, roasted cauliflower and new potatoes, horseradish cream, and truffle-infused gravy.

Pan-seared Yuzu Scallops with hazelnuts, clementine slices, and yuzu beurre blanc sauce. Comes with a light slaw salad.

Crispy Hen-of-the-Woods Mushroom Platter (V) with a medley of grilled wild mushrooms, artichokes, asparagus, and quinoa-wild rice pilaf. Garnished with walnuts and vegan pesto.

DESSERT Fresh seasonal berries with Chai-spiced Clotted Cream with strawberries, blueberries, currants, blackberries, and gooseberries. Chai spice contains clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and ginger.

Coffee Caramel Frozen Brazo de Mercedes with blended coffee ice cream, peanuts, cashews, and warm caramel sauce.

Vegan Raspberry Coconut Mousse Parfait (V) with silken tofu, agave syrup, raspberries, and layered with vegan dark chocolate cookie crumble, and topped with roasted coconut shavings.

𝑾𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈

All personnel please be advised that there is a WEATHER WARNING in effect from 0100 to 2400 on March 29th; heavy cloud cover is expected to sock in during the early hours, accompanied shortly by freezing rain and sleet. Blizzard conditions should be in full force before 0500. Barring direct orders from Site Director Osterholz or, if applicable, MTFC 𝑆𝑀𝑂𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐴𝑇𝑂𝑅, any unnecessary outdoor activities should be curtailed. Remain indoors. Do not be alarmed when blinds are lowered and locked in position; this is normal procedure at Site-φ in the case of extreme weather. There is nothing to see in the snow. You are not missing out.

𝑪𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒏𝒖𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒐𝒂𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-𝑨𝒑𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒅 𝑭𝒊𝒓𝒆

by SECURITY CAPTAIN J. Kato

How about that forecast, Site-φ! In honor of what’s probably going to be the last blizzard of the spring (don’t hold me to that, I’m no meteorologist! :D) Site Security will be hosting a bonfire at the campground the evening of March 28th. Come get cozy before the storm hits! BYOTTB (Bring Your Own Things* To Burn). *Adhering to all regulations re: flammable substances and safe use of the communal campground, found under Hazardous Materials (Reg. F-451) and Outdoor Recreation (Regs. C-10 through -14) in the Personnel Handbook.

RSVP! →

📍 all muses are welcome to attend this open event, taking place at the on-site campground on the evening of March 28th. These threads may be written whenever you like before the act closes, so long as they are dated to that time! several bonfires will be set and maintained by site-φ security personnel from nightfall to midnight. hot chocolate and non-alcoholic cider will be available; muses are welcome to bring food and/or shredder-ready paperwork, photographs of regrets, evidence of wrongdoings, unwanted papercrafts, and disappointing research to burn. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑭𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒆'𝒔 (𝑰𝒏)𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑭𝒊𝒔𝒉

Following several hospitalizations linked to the most recent serving of Frankie’s Famous Fish last month, all waivers have been destroyed and future shipments of “fish” scratched from the order. Anyone who sees or smells “fish” should report this to Site Security. Site Administration would like to stress and remind personnel not to try Frankie’s Famous Fish at the cafeteria; do not believe the rumors the dish gives you powers if you survive. If anyone has seen Frankie, inform him that the HR Department and Director Osterholz desires a meeting. Immediately.

𝑫𝒆𝒇𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 𝑺𝒆𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒓 & 𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒃𝒂𝒕 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 𝑨𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

The Security Department will continue to offer self-defense and weapons handling classes. Additionally, Op. 𝐷𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐵𝑅𝐸𝐸𝐷 has been ordered to conduct combat readiness assessments on all members of MTF Chi-00. When asked for comment, he replied: “That so?” and stated that they should “Be on time.” Requests for elaboration were met with a smile, precisely one nod, and what may have been a laugh. Additional, remedial seminars can be arranged with Captain Kato in advance of your assessment.

BOOK A TIME! →

𝐿𝑎𝑏 𝐴𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠

Lab spaces may still be booked through the Head of Research at Site-φ. Please let them know what you intend to research, and be advised that lab space is in slightly shorter than usual supply due to “a Newt-related incident.” Newt, who is a good dog, does not understand what this could be referring to. Neither does anyone else who was in the lab at the alleged time of the incident. Head of research insists that Newt “knows what he did.”

SUBMIT A REQUEST! →

📍 players are welcome to request a lab space for their researchers by contacting rp mgmt. please note that requesting a space as a themis member would immediately jump the line of the other scientists at the site. some themis researchers, depending on their prestige, may be given a full team of lab assistants to aid in their noble pursuit to secure, contain, and protect.

𝑾𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑪𝒍𝒖𝒃 𝑺𝒊𝒈𝒏-𝑼𝒑𝒔

The Walking Club, a group of highly-intelligent pack of dogs, is looking for new members! remember — DON’T WALK ALONE. That is a formal directive, not a request. Joining the Walking Club is especially critical given the WEATHER WARNING soon to be in effect; any personnel who need to move between site buildings while the WARNING is active must contact the Walking Club. The correct way to contact the Walking Club is to step through the nearest door, close it behind you,* and whistle as loud as possible. If you are not a good whistler, that is okay! There is no such thing as a bad whistle if you put your heart into it! The Walking Club will still hear you and arrive shortly. *If Newt has chosen you as his walking buddy, you are advised to brace yourself against the door before whistling, to prevent injury.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑱𝒐𝒃 𝑩𝒐𝒂𝒓𝒅

The following “odd jobs,” which are in no way “odd” or “unusual,” are currently available, on an as-available, non-urgent basis, personnel schedules permitting. Consider being a Site-φ neighbor and lend a hand if you can!

GROW-LIGHT GARDEN ASSISTANT posted by HEAD GARDENER S. Oz Do you appreciate site-acceptable greenery? Do you feel “well”? Do you enjoy communing with the earth, unto which our mortal flesh will someday return, if we are lucky? Join the Grow-Light Garden Staff! BRING: your own garden-ready gloves and/or knee pads. DO NOT BRING: negative energies. Seriously. Do not. For everyone's sakes. EDIT: This position has been filled.

SUPPORT ARCHIVIST posted by HEAD LIBRARIAN and ARCHIVIST Dr. W. Zai While Junior Archivist M. Leitner recovers from unwise choices as regards his seafood intake, the Site-φ archives are in need of additional hands. These hands will, ideally, be experienced in standard archival procedures. EDIT: This position has been filled.

CONTACT NOW! →

📍 players are welcome to pick up supplemental odd jobs during their time at site-φ. you can pick up an odd job by contacting rp mgmt. however, please note that these listings are first-come, first-serve, and muses may be fired from their position if they are unable to fulfill the job’s requirements (posting a monthly prompt). however, these positions may also reveal more of site-φ’s mysteries. there is also an optional interactive roll for a random [𝙲𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙵𝙸𝙴𝙳] element!

𝑫𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒐𝒓 𝑶𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒛'𝒔 𝑨𝒅𝒗𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕

𝑹𝑬: 𝑭𝑹𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑵𝑰𝒁𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

by DIRECTOR B. Osterholz

Good evening. It has been brought to my attention that our new additions here at Site-φ may be in need of a reminder as to the appropriateness of fraternization among personnel at this highly clandestine installation. To reiterate what was stated during onboarding and in the welcome brochure: “making eyes,” “canoodling,” and/or “partaking in the horizontal tango” with fellow staff members is not allowed at Site-φ. As you all know, the nature of our work demands absolute dedication and focus. Surely any rumors of anyone engaging in such acts on-site are, indeed, no more than crass rumors to razz the newcomers.

𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒆-φ 𝑩𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝑨𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝑪𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Due to the sheer number of staff here at Site-φ, acknowledgments in the Phi-thon are through user submission. Thank you for celebrating your fellow Phi-thons.

𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑃ℎ𝑖-𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑛 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎… 𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑌 𝐵𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐻𝐷𝐴𝑌! JUNIOR ENGINEER K. MADDOW, March 4th Happy b-day, K!!! Engi life is the best life! Couldn’t have made that particle blaster without ya! See you at Holly’s, a round on us! — Your pals at Engineering. ASSISTANT RESEARCHER C. VATYA, March 13th The Site-φ Researcher will be 50 this year. Thank you for all your hard work, encouragement, and good humor. From all of us in the 'Pataphysics Wing of Research and Development, we wish our fellow a happy birthday. WELLNESS COUNSELOR J. Oyuun, March 20th “The best gift you could possibly give me is to attend your mandatory wellness assessment. Anything more extravagant would, in fact, be inappropriate, given the nature of our strictly counselor-to-client relationship. But I also wouldn’t say no to more crayons or holographic stickers from that one place in Hōuston…”

MTF CHI-00 OPERATIVE 52 PICKUP, March 20th Happy birthday. From a secret admirer.

If you’d like to announce or contribute to our monthly newsletter, contact the Phi-thon via SCiPNET. →

📍 players are welcome to guest write or submit an in-character announcement for the monthly newsletter by contacting rp mgmt! reach out to us for more details.

Please enjoy a complimentary All You Can Brunch Buffet Ticket from us at the Phi-thon. Please note these tickets are valid for one person for one-time use. As Director Osterholz has advised in previous Phi-thon issues, ticket trading is not permitted on Site-φ.

📌 OOC GUIDELINES & HINTS!