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"Admittedly, what do I know about fathers? I never knew mine."

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I thought you could use a break from Artoria v. Mordred strips, so here are a bunch of different dads mucking about in Fate/Gag Order.

These were originally three different potential Father's Day Special strips, but remembering Jason's loosely defined Noble Phantasm gave me the perfect framing device to link them all together.

Funnily enough, one of Asclepius' many potential Argonaut crew mates depending on which canon you prefer is King Admetus, an old lover of Apollo's who was also his boss for a time (Apollo had been locked into a mortal form as punishment for one crime or another against his fellow gods). And who could blame the Sun god? Admetus was handsome, able-bodied, and a gracious host and employer. Unfortunately (mostly for Admetus himself), he was also a massive goober. After the Argonaut quest and Apollo helping him win the hand of Alcestis (of the titular play), one of the best mortal wives an Ancient Greek man could possibly get (next to the likes of Penelope and such), Admetus hosted a massive celebration during which he paid tribute to the entire Greek pantheon. Except Artemis. Presumably, he thought that being a former fling and cherished friend of her brother's would exempt him from having to do so (sacrifices/tributes could be very costly). He was wrong. And to prove such, she filled his entire palace with snakes. Again, Apollo came to Admetus' rescue but told him that the snakes would continue to rain down upon his land until he paid Artemis her due. And they did until he did.

If that wasn't bad enough, it soon transpired that Admetus was cursed to have a rather short (if eventful) life. Apollo decided to do his buddy one last favor and got the Fates (yes, those Fates) incredibly intoxicated so they'd be much more open to his request to give Admetus a couple more decades. Sadly, they weren't quite that drunk but acquiesced that if someone else were to take Admetus' place to die when he was supposed to, he would be allowed to avoid his destined demise. When he was told this, Admetus believed that either one of his elderly parents would be willing to help him out since they had lived long, full lives, and he was, you know, their son. Alas, they were enjoying their retirements a little too much to cut them short. So Alcestis, being a wonderful wife, offered to sacrifice herself to save Admetus. And Admetus, being a goober, took her up on that offer. For that same reason, it was only after Thanatos swooped in and snatched up his noble spouse, Admetus realized that he had made a terrible mistake and that he should've accepted his end with grace rather than hide behind a woman foolish enough to love him. Luckily for the couple, Heracles is around, and wanting to do a kindness for his fellow ex-Argonaut after Admetus had treated him well as a guest, the demigod proceeded to hunt down Thanatos and beat him into submission until he coughed up Alcestis' body and soul so that they could jointly reunite with her now penitent (and ideally less dim) husband.

The moral of the story? It was probably awkward between Asclepius and Admetus while they were sailing on the same boat. I think that's what it is anyway.

As for Peleus, to tell you more about him, I must stress the fact that while there is some debate as to whether Jason pioneered the concept of a superhero team (or more accurately, the configuration of such where its head honcho could be someone who wasn't necessarily the smartest or strongest but the best leader), he undoubtedly and unintentionally laid the foundations for a very popular and occasionally frustrating modern story conceit: Hero vs. Hero. Because while only a handful of Argonauts actually died during the voyage (Hylas, the Boreads, etc.), a lot more died after the team went its separate ways. A few perished due to bizarre circumstances (Ancaeus, Caenis, etc.) and a number of them died during the Trojan War years after the Argonautica. However, an alarming amount of them met their ends thanks to their old allies. Perhaps the most famous example is what happened when Augeas (of the Augean Stables) unlike Admetus, chose to stand in Heracles' way instead of helping him along it.

Peleus, along with his brother Telamon, became an Argonaut to repair their reputations after they had accidentally killed their half-brother Phocus while hunting and after he himself accidentally killed the ruler of Phthia (Eurytion) during the hunt for the Calydonian Boar. This achieved, he would have settled comfortably with his wife Antigone (Eurytion's daughter who he had married before he accidentally killed him) if not for Astydameia, the wife of King Acastus, falling in love with him.

Now Acastus is king of Iolcus and he's the son of King Pelias, who usurped the throne from Jason's father Aeson, imprisoning him and eventually driving him to suicide whilst systematically tracking down and eliminating all of Aeson's children save Jason who was whisked away by his mother (identity varies) to be raised and trained by Chiron. Acastus was also an Argonaut. Why he was allowed onto the ship as one of its crew depends on the telling. Sometimes, he's a hostage given to Jason by Pelias as an assurance that he'll definitely abdicate the throne if he finds the Golden Fleece. Other times, he's there at Pelias' insistence to make sure that Jason doesn't use his 50-strong crew of adventurers and demigods to take Iolcus by force. There is every possibility that Acastus is going to murder his cousin to make sure Iolcus stays with his side of the family. A moot point, since this is Jason we're taking about; the man who somehow managed to get the Dioscuri to work alongside Theseus who had abducted and tried to marry their little sister Helen; the fellow who had the audacity to draft a number of hardy nobles who had taken part in the hunt for the Calydonian Boar into a crew that had Atalanta, the woman who humiliated most of them with her success at subduing the beast; the guy who had every confidence of having Asclepius treat Admetus if he ever got injured despite how the latter had intimately cuddled with the god who had sired and struck down the former; the exiled nobody whose charisma managed to charm dozens of princes and kings into following him on his adventure. He did such a good job at befriending (read: corralling) Acastus, that he assigned him the role as night watchman during the shifts that Jason himself was asleep.

This in mind, you're likely curious as to how Acastus became king of Iolcus. Well, when Jason and Medea returned with the Golden Fleece, Pelias reneged on his promise and told his nephew that he had lied to the imprisoned Aeson that the Argo had sunk along with all its passengers, causing his brother to finally lose hope and to take his own life. His audience did not take this well, and through a very famous act of trickery involving a ram and a pot, Jason neatly sidestepped the taboo of murdering one's own family members...by having Medea trick Pelias' daughters into doing it for them. And so, Jason was once again exiled, and so Acastus became king. Bridge burned. Very sad.

Acastus did not begrudge any of the other Argonauts besides Jason and Medea, and used his new kingly privileges to formally pardon Peleus for Eurtyion's death. This amicable relationship between royals might have persisted if his wife Astydameia hadn't fallen in love with Peleus. When the king rejected her advances, Astydameia fled to her husband and told him that Peleus had assaulted her. Acastus' response to this news was to invite Peleus on a hunting trip, which the unwitting ex-Argonaut took him up on. Since he lacked his friend's uncanny ability for unintentional manslaughter, Acastus bided his time, and once the pair was deep enough in the wilderness, stole Peleus' weapons and provisions while he was sleeping, and left him to die of either exposure or at the hooves and arrows of the wild centaurs that roamed the area.

Abandoned, Peleus wandered the wilds for days until he crossed paths with Chiron himself who helped him return to civilization. There, Peleus was informed that Acastus had not only pronounced him lost and presumed dead but had also sullied his name with claims that he had attacked Queen Astydameia, the news of which had caused Antigone to take her own life out of grief at his death and out of shame for his crimes.

Furious, Peleus rallied whatever men who believed his side of the story to invade Iolcus so that he could take the life of a king once more. Intentionally this time. Along the way, he was joined by both Jason and the Dioscuri, and together they definitively and bloodily brought Acastus to...justice.

Comparable to Jason's utter ruination when he tried to do the same, Peleus found great difficulties when he found a new wife. For one, he had forgotten or decided not to invite the goddess Eris to his wedding feast with Thetis. This earned him and his guests (the Greek Gods) her ire, and she would go on to initiate the Apple of Discord scheme to get back at them. You know how that goes. Next, six of the seven children he had with Thetis died in infancy. Lastly, in some myths, his interruption of her attempt to make their seventh, Achilles, utterly invincible causes her to abandon her mortal family in rage.

The play Andromache, set after the Trojan War, reunites the pair for one last bittersweet encounter.

Thessalus was a son of Jason and Medea, and is usually the only child of theirs to escape his mother's filicidal rampage. He becomes king of Iolcus when Jason bequeaths to him all rights to the crown for reasons you are free to infer, and the meaning of which, you are at liberty to do likewise.

Hardest fight for me was probably both rounds against consort Yu?

Shoutout to Sir Tristan, showing up to give a 1-turn evade against the horse man’s NP, then dying.

My MVPs:

Everyone’s favourite overworked schoolteacher strategist

 An angry Greek dad who refuses to die

A samurai with a bad cough who daishouri’d against the lancer basically solo.

A space cop with a sick hat on vacation

A welfare gremlin with a six hit arts card

A murder baby made of crit stars

And in a surprise upset, a Greek witch with a sick knife, who refused to let Old Man Li have any buffs.

i had an idea so i typed this out right before i went to bed

if all else fails, just put heracles on last is a motto that really helped me (like how he came through in the mnemosyne boss fight and just absolutely bodied)

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