#feyanthe

Feyre rolled on top of Ianthe and looked down at her. “ We both knew what we were getting into after that first kiss, Ianthe,” she murmured, her fingers delicately brushing over the ink on her forehead. They both remembered the soft kiss they’d shared in the gardens the first time. “ What’s so different now?” “ What’s different is,” Ianthe started, one hand resting on the back of her neck and the other in her hair, “ that I can’t keep delaying this wedding any further and Tamlin refuses to even allow any of your training. It won’t be long until you two get married and you become Lady of the Spring Court. And not to mention that there’s a certain High Lord of the Night Court coming after you too. How much longer can we keep going, Feyre?” “ I can’t lose you,” Feyre rasped, her hands now resting on Ianthe’s chest and she could feel her heartbeat. “ You mean too much to me to let go.” Feyre leaned down to kiss Ianthe forcefully and let out a sigh of relief when she responded immediately. “ I’m not losing you, Ianthe. We’ll figure it out some way or the other.” “ Cauldron, what have I done?” Ianthe whispered more to herself. Feyre smiled down at her and kissed her lightly. “ You’ve fallen in love with me,” Feyre said teasingly, feeling her fears slowly receding. Ianthe’s smile turned into one of awe and she felt Ianthe cup her face in her hands. “ I really have, haven’t I?” Ianthe whispered in such shock that Feyre looked down at her with a look of surprise. “ I’ve fallen in love with you,” she said again, while her eyes seemed to study every inch of her and Feyre felt her fingers starting to trace the lines on her face.  " I’ve fallen in love with the most beautiful woman in this world,“ she muttered again, still in complete shock. Feyre blushed brightly at her words and laid down beside Ianthe again and they both were facing each other. One hand still remained on on Feyre’s face as it slowly traveled over her face again and again. ” Would it…I mean, is it okay if I’m in love with you?“ Ianthe asked nervously after a moment of silence. Feyre nodded and kissed Ianthe gently to reassure her that it was more than okay.

When they pulled back, Feyre wasn’t sure what to say. She wanted to return those words to her but how was she supposed to know? She wasn’t as confident in her feelings as Ianthe was. She couldn’t reach into her heart and say those words as easily as Ianthe could. ” You don’t have to say it back to me,“ Ianthe murmured softly. ” I don’t?“ ” Of course not. They’re my feelings, not yours, Feyre. It’s okay.“ She melted to her words and wrapped her arms around Ianthe to pull her closer. ” Okay,“ Feyre murmured once her head was laying on Ianthe’s chest. Feyre heard a final whisper from Ianthe before she let sleep take her. ” I love you, Feyre.“

—

Ianthe knew she was a goner the moment she had laid her eyes on Feyre. At first, she’d been drawn to the Otherness that radiated off her skin. Ianthe had been curious about the newly Made woman. As she got closer to her, she began to see the darkness in her eyes, the emptiness in her voice and the apathy in her behaviour. Ianthe watched her worsen every day and tried to ignore it at first, telling herself that the High Lord would know what to do. When things only detoriated, Ianthe intervened, trying to spend more time with her and it seemed to be helping. Except, she found herself growing closer the woman and didn’t even realise when she’d fallen in love.

When Ianthe saw her in her room that day, with that far away look in her eyes, Ianthe had dragged her off to the gardens and the first kiss had been a complete accident. But the ones after that hadn’t. The glances, the touches, the moments afterwards had all been on purpose. With Tamlin being so busy, it was easy to sneak around and spend time together but Ianthe couldn’t shake the feeling off that Lucien knew. With his continous glances at the both of them and the warning in his eyes, she knew that he at least suspected. She wouldn’t put it past him either. The fox hadn’t become Tamlin’s emmisary for nothing.

After leaving a sleeping Feyre at dawn and doing her daily rituals, she was walking towards Tamlin’s study to give him an update on the preparation of the wedding when she noticed Feyre heading to the same place.  Tamlin and Lucien burst out of the doors and Ianthe could feel a deep sense of dread settle in her stomach. She tucked herself behind a half open door as she watched the two talk. Without her kowledge, her hands curled into fists as she watched Feyre and Tamlin quickly rise up into an argument.

Feyre was trying to convince him to take her with him and he kept refusing, making Ianthe barely hold in a growl. They started walking towards the foyer and Ianthe silently followed, making sure not to be seen or heard. She tried not to lash out at Tamlin as Feyre kept on pleading and begging to be taken with Tamlin. She knew how suffocated Feyre had been feeling even with Ianthe’s help. Despite all that Ianthe was, she couldn’t do anything. And when Feyre’s voice cracked, she could see that Feyre didn’t care about her dignity anymore.  Ianthe wanted to drive her fingers down Tamlin’s face like Amarantha had once done to Lucien. When Tamlin’s claws came out, Ianthe knew Feyre was cracking. The deep sense of dread only grew stronger and it was accomapanied by a rage she didn’t think she ever could have reached.

Ianthe watched as Feyre walked after Tamlin only to be stopped by an invisible wall. Lucien tried to calmly explain everything to Feyre but Ianthe knew that she could hardly hear any of it. With her fists by her side and her fury clear on her face, she appeared beside Feyre and then hissed at Lucien, ” What does he think he’s doing?“ She knew Tamlin could hear her. Let him. He had barricaded the woman he claimed to love. Tamlin didn’t even pause in his tracks at her voice. Lucien only looked at her with guilt as he winnowed away and Ianthe turned to Feyre.

Ianthe followed Feyre as she desparately tried to open the door and Ianthe only growled when Feyre’s hand pushed against hardened air. ” Ianthe,“ Feyre rasped at her, as she walked backwards to only knock against a wooden table and Ianthe caught her as she stumbled in her steps. Her power was useless. ” I can’t-I can’t do anything, Feyre,“ she said with a helpless voice. Tears were pricking at her eyes and she didn’t know what to do.

Feyre seemed to crumble in on herself and all Ianthe could do was hold Feyre close. Suddenly, shadows enclosed them in a dome accompanied with fire, ice and wind. Feyre fell to her knees and Ianthe only joined her, trying to reach out to her through all the tears. She stroked Feyre’s hair and pulled her closer, trying to calm her down. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to piece her back together. She didn’t know anything. And it was all tearing at her. She wanted to to give Feyre everything she could but how was she supposed to when she just didn’t know?

Then, there was a break in the shadows and a shift in the air as a figure appeared right behind Feyre. Ianthe looked up to see The Morrigan looking down at her. Ianthe instantly understood what she was here for. Thank the Cauldron. She looked down at Feyre in her arms and gently picked her up and held her out for the Third. ” Please take good care of her. Make sure she’s safe,“ Ianthe said softly, keeping her eyes on Feyre who had curled up against the woman and Ianthe knew that Feyre was too far away to do anything. Ianthe felt a hand on her shoulder and she looked up to look at Morrigan. ” We’ll take care of her. I promise,“ she said with such conviction that Ianthe believed it. She swallowed back her tears and nodded. ” Thank you.“ Ianthe responded and she looked down at Feyre and her breath caught when she looked back. ” I’m sorry,“ she said instantly. Feyre didn’t even listen to her words. ” Come with me. Please,“ Feyre said urgently, looking up at her with pleading eyes and Ianthe almost gave in. She took a step forward to cup Feyre’s face in her hands kissed her eyelids, nose and her mouth softly. She didn’t care if the High Lord’s cousin saw her. ” I can’t, Feyre,“ she said, her voice breaking and her tears streaming. She didn’t want to leave her. She shouldn’t leave her. And yet, she must. ” I have to make sure Tamlin doesn’t do anything drastic. Just stay there, love.“ ” No,“ Feyre whispered at her with fearful eyes. ” Don’t leave me, Ianthe. I can’t lose you.“ A tear rolled down Feyre’s face and Ianthe immediately wiped it away, trying to ignore the ache in her heart. ” We have to leave,“ Morrigan said urgently and yet, Ianthe could hear some reluctance in her voice. ” Goodbye, Feyre,“ Ianthe whispered for a final time and kissed Feyre for the last time, trying to convey all that she could in that brief second.

The last thing Ianthe saw before they winnowed away was Feyre’s face which wore shattered expression, mirroring her own.