#festival problems

why the fUCk am I like this !!!!!

Last I checked I was like 0-1ish and I have a lot of jeans but now none of them fit cause my ass got bigger (awesome) and ever since I was like 14 my goal was to get up to a size 3 so in the end of June for Firefly I went shorts shopping and realized I was a 3 and I bought a shit ton of 3 shorts and they fit in the store but for the festival they were tight. It was ok cause I could unbutton them and my fanny pack strap covered so you couldn't see that. But now I'm going to another festival and I have to buy all new shorts again and jeez jeans are fucking stressful cause they don't stretch at all and sizes are different for all the different brands. But I need jean shorts bc of the sturdy belt loops to hold up my fanny pack.