Pietro has three boxes waiting for him whenever he nerds his nerd way to Tony’s place on Christmas. Two are wrapped in a diamond block, and one in gold.
Inside the first box are two pairs of shoes Tony handmade himself, fit to Pietro’s style sense. There’s even little shoe wings on them. They both light up when they take a step, and should be able to keep up with Pietro’s LUDICROUS SPEED. (There is also a thing installed to record Pietro’s speeds, but Tony neglects to mention this.)
In the second box are a ton of goofy zazzle shirts tailored to Pietro’s sense of humour. One in particular has a photo of a ferret stuck in a toilet roll tube like 8o with the caption “IDIOT NOODLE FUCKER SUPREME OVERLORD”.
The third box has a “caution” sticker on it. Inside are shards of Christmas ornaments, an empty bag of ant poison, a weird nailgun contraption (disarmed, for obvious reasons) and a handmade taser glove (also disarmed.) At the bottom of the box is an ugly musty poncho, and a card that say “Everything my gay little hands could carry”.
Wanda gets two boxes, both wrapped in netherbrick paper. One has a few pillows made to look like books, and a wallet full of useful gift cards for various fast food places, Bed, Bath, & Beyond (for home supplies), makeup places, etc. There’s also a simple looking makeup bag with a gift Visa hidden inside with $5k loaded onto it. There’s a sticky note attached that reads “in case of emergency”.
The second is full of miscellaneous bath goodies from LUSH, including a good chunk of their selection of bath bombs.
The Minecraft theme is unfortunately wasted on Pietro, who never made it past punching a single wood from a tree before he decided the game was intolerably slow and lost interest, but he likes what he finds inside. The third box is easily his favorite -- the poncho smells like mildew and gross Tony B.O., and he doesn't completely understand the purpose behind the rest of the stuff, but as someone who once committed a B&E for an old potato, he can't really judge what Tony chooses to steal. All that matters is that he did and now Pietro gets to hold it over him forever and ever.
(Pietro opens Wanda's presents too, but hers are decidedly more boring, although the Bed, Bath & Beyond gift card does mean a future trip to the slightly-less-fun-IKEA-with-no-meatballs.)
Wanda makes him put everything away because he's supposed to be paying attention to wedding stuff, not trying on stupid shirts that say "faster than the speed of something slow," but watching Clint's nose get all snotty can only hold Pietro's attention for so long. Some time between the end of Clint's vows and the beginning of Tony's, he quietly fwips outside to change into one of his new pairs of shoes and does a few dozen laps around the mansion, admiring the light trailing his ankles. It's ridiculously hard to resist the urge to stress test them, but running to Japan in the middle of his friends' wedding is probably rude.
He changes back into his original sneakers and fwips back into his seat just in time to see Clint start crying again, pausing just long enough to return the gold and netherbrick paper to Tony in the form of an origami Iron Man wedding cake topper.
