#feli-writes

“500 mora.” 

“300 mora.” 

“400 mora.”

“350 mora!” This was getting beyond ridiculous. How could anyone demand so much for a mere book. Your jaw ticks, quite visibly flexing as you make your final offer. Coming to Mondstadt during the Windblume Festival practically means walking into a trap—one where they strip you of all your possessions, and you’ll leave with nothing but empty pockets. 

From a distance, you can hear bells chiming a tune, and bright laughter fills the air, adding to the cheerful melody, that is, until the woman opens her mouth again. “It’s a good price!” Annoyed, she lifts the book off the table and points at the price tag glued on the cover with her index finger, impatiently tapping against the sticker, as if to prove her point. “I even gave you a discou–”. You have a hunch about which direction this is going to go and decide to cut her off before she makes any more snarky remarks. “Es ist einfach nur unglaublich dreist so viel zu verlangen!”

“It’s just incredibly brazen to demand this much!”

For a split second, the woman’s eyes slightly widen in reaction to your words, her eyes fluttering rapidly in surprise. “Bist du aus Mondstadt?” She asks hesitantly and squints her eyes together to study you; her watchful gaze makes you shift on your feet. 

All you can do is meekly nod, awkwardly averting your eyes from her. To your surprise, she claps her hands together in delight, a newfound sparkle emitting from her eyes. “Warum hast du das nicht von Anfang an gesagt?” Her eyes take the form of crescent moons as she cocks her head to the side, smilingly, with her hands politely tucked behind her back.

“Are you from Mondstadt?” / “Why didn’t you say that from the beginning?”

You offer her a half-hearted smile, one that twitches at the corner of your lips on close inspection in irritation. If she hadn’t singled you out as a tourist right from the beginning and tried ripping you off—she might have known, but you don’t tell her that. 

It takes everything in you to simply laugh at her sudden change of attitude. It’s blatantly obvious—the favoritism she shows to people who are from Mondstadt. It’s not your business to meddle with but you doubt that this is how an earnest trade is supposed to look like, but it works out in your favor, so who’s to blame?

“Hate the game, not the player.” As Kaveh would say. Whenever he’d win against you during a game of cards, he’d blame it on anything else than the player’s ability (with the sole exception of Alhaitham, perhaps who’d taunt him first).

You can’t help but chuckle fondly as you think of the two back in Sumeru. Kaveh would’ve surely complained about the price too as he’d bargain for it to be lowered.

Only when her voice softens as she hands you the see de in exchange for the mora (which was all along not worth more than 200 mora) you snap back to reality. She attempts to converse with you, proudly slipping in her admissions about how many people she’s already ripped off today and eventually wishing you a good day, in an unexpected sweet manner, as you start to walk away.

“Danke Ihnen auch!” You shout over your shoulder before stepping further into the hustle and bustle, passing by people and skimming through the pages of your newly purchased book. 

“Thank you, you too!”

It’s a catalogue about typical Mondstadtian architecture throughout the centuries, each chapter telling the story of another architectural period that shaped Mondstadt. There are several terms you recognize—facades, cornices—things Kaveh has mentioned once before. As for the ones unknown to you, you make sure to ask Kaveh when you return.

When you get back home, you’ll make sure to wrap it up nicely and give it to Kaveh as a Mitbringsel (souvenir) from your little trip back to your hometown. At the very least you were relieved, because you were quite certain that Kaveh would be happy with his gift. 

In comparison to your other friends from the Akademiya Kaveh was the only eager one to receive a gift and you figured that this might be the best thing to give him. 

Thinking about it now, you might get something for yourself too. How often is it that you visit Mondstadt? You weren’t there for the last two Windblume Festivals, fearing that this place would evoke certain memories, but you suppose it should be fine now. 

After all, it’s been a while, so all the matters you left behind—the ones that were left unresolved, like a letter where the signature is missing—all you could do was pray to Barbatos that they flew away with the wind.

In all honesty, you didn’t plan for this trip to be long, thus you attempted to limit yourself to bringing only essential things, which meant that personal items became a second priority. 

Not even a full day has passed since you arrived in Mondstadt with all your luggage in hand. Truly, you love Mondstadt, you grew up here and spent a good portion of your life here, but if there was one thing you dreaded, ignoring how silly it sounds—the rough cobblestone paved floors. They were a pain to walk around on, especially with how bumpy the ways were.

But if there was one place in the entirety of Mondstadt that could ease this exhaustion it had to be Angels' share. The first thing you did when you stepped foot back home wasn’t going to your housing and unpacking—no—it was rushing to Angel’s share. Yes—with all your luggage.

After all, there was only one thing that could save you from the fatigue this trip gave you—a good wine brewed from the finest grapes in Mondstadt, and who else but the Ragnvindr’s could provide you that?

Upon arrival, you immediately rushed to the bar stools at the counter, propped your arms down and slumped your head against them to rest, practically hiding your face. All you heard was a huff from above and you could already paint out the image of a certain redhead rolling his eyes in disbelief at you. “Auch schön dich wiederzusehen.” Diluc said flatly, as he slid a glass filled with water over the counter towards you, before stepping away to prepare your drink. 

“Good seeing you again too.”

Although for the majority of your Akedmiya years, your studies kept you busy, in your leisure time you still made sure to find enough time to write letters to everyone. Despite the years you were away from Mondstadt, everyone treated you the same—your heart swelled at the thought and a small smile found its way on your lips. 

Diluc still knew your go-to drink and didn’t pester you with any infuriating small-talk, because he knows that you’re not in the mood to talk when you haven’t drunk yet. 

It’s almost like you never left. Everything was the same—the lively ambiance, groups of young friends encouraging each other to drink more while others had to drag their friends out before Diluc could catch them. You were under the impression that time had stopped and only continued when you were back here again, sitting with a certain someone every day after his shift ended. 

Being lost in your thoughts made you unaware of your surroundings that you almost didn’t notice the amused chuckle that came from right above you. “Oh, wen haben wir denn hier?” Hearing the familiar voice, with that tilt of tease to it, your head shot up, along with your widening smile. 

“Oh, who do we have here?”

In front of you stood Kaeya, practically grinning from ear to ear. “Mind if I sit next to you?” He didn’t even wait for your response before pulling the bar stool out and made himself comfortable. 

It was subtle, but the way his gaze shifted to Diluc's back and a somber shadow clouded his eyes, told you enough and you gave him a compassionate glance which he quickly brushed off with a reassuring smile. 

He’s quick to change the topic. “So how's it in Mondstadt?” He set his arm down the counter, before resting his face in the palm of his hand and stared at you in anticipation. “Well if we ignore that I arrived merely a few hours ago, I’m good.” You chuckled as you took a sip from the glass. 

Kaeya shot you an entertaining look. “Is that so?” His words left you confused and you furrowed your eyebrows. But it seems like he had no intention of answering, as his gaze wandered over to the group of adventurers who were sitting right beneath the table at the staircase and you followed him. Within the blink of an eye the group turned silent and ducked their heads together. Weird.

“Weißt du, wer letztens zurückgekehrt ist?” His sudden question took you aback. “Nein, wer denn?” You replied lost. “Großmeister Varka ist zurückgekommen, unter anderem mit der fünften Kompanie—du weißt, was das bedeu–”

“Do you know who recently returned?” / “No, who?” / “Grand master Varka came back, among others the fifth company—you know what that mea–”

Before you know it Kaeya’s words started to fade into the background as you got distracted by the touch coming from behind your shoulder. It was only then when you noticed that someone attempted to get your attention.

WIth ease you swivel around on your stool and face the person standing in front of you. On closer look, he was built quite slender, still you could see the lean muscles of his body peeking out from his clothes. 

He quickly noticed that you were scrutinizing him and quickly fixed his disheveled hair, before he coughed into his fisted hand as if to prepare himself to say something.

“Äh, hallo.” He starts off awkwardly. “Ich hab dich von da hinten gesehen und fand dich echt hübsch und wollte nur mal fragen, ob du vielleicht morgen zusammen das Fest verbringen möchtest?” 

“Uh, hello.” / “I saw you from behind there and found you to be really pretty and just wanted to ask if you’d maybe wanna spend time together tomorrow during the festival”

No wonder Kaeya was staring at the loud group of adventurers that were sitting at the back so intently. Whether it was a mere guess or intuition, you’re not sure, still you were impressed that Kaeya was so quick to connect the dots that one of them would come up to you.

Granted, he wasn’t quite your type or at least the kind of person you’d usually go for, but so was someone else. It wouldn’t hurt to give him a chance, you presume.

“Das ist sehr nett von dir und sicherlich können wir morgen Zeit verbringen.” You shoot him a polite smile. 

“That’s really kind of you and surely we can spend time together tomorrow.”

Whether it was the pressure of having his adventure peers looking at you, the exhaustion and your brain completely giving up on you or genuine feelings that made you agree, you weren’t quite sure. Admittedly, he didn’t look quite bad and seemed very nice, so why not give it a shot? 

It's only one date. He asked if he could pick you up and you’d just walk around a bit at the festival and then go eat dinner. There’s little that could go wrong, and even when things might take a turn for the worse, you’d only be staying here no longer than a few more days and return to Sumeru quicker than Kaeya would be able to open his mouth to order his next round of drinks. As for it if it turns out for the better—you’re still unsure. 

In all honesty, you weren’t sure if you had healed enough from your last relationship. However, you also don't want to spend your entire life mourning after a relationship that has sunken, so it’d be no harm to start a new one.

Just as you spotted a boutique where you could buy nice clothes to wear for your date tomorrow, a voice suddenly appeared from behind you, as if it had hidden itself within the shadows and jumped out at the right moment to scare you.

"Was ein Zufall, dich hier zu sehen.” An icy voice cuts through the atmosphere—the same voice that greeted you every morning and put you to sleep every night when you still lived in Mondstadt. It’s as if time has stood still, freezing everything into one place as you stopped in your tracks. “Lang nicht mehr gesehen.” The owner of the voice—Lohen—positions himself in front of you.

“What a coincidence seeing you here.” / “Long time no see.”

It’s only a natural reaction that the hairs on your nape would stand up in tension. Fear was an emotion that he could sniff out like no other, especially when it came to you. When he receives a whiff, he’ll already have his eyes set on you. The fear won’t disappear—you’ll be fearing for your life instead. 

Considering how close he stood to you, you were aware he wouldn’t turn a blind eye to the anxiety surging through your body. Not to mention your staggered, uneven breathing that was no different to someone catching their last breaths. You knew better than to ignore him, but how are you even supposed to begin?

Despite all the time which has passed, you didn’t even dare to look up to meet his eyes.

“How’d you know I was back?” Mere seconds which feel like an eternity pass and you muster up the courage to ask. The words are quiet, but you can practically feel his smug grin as he looks down at you. Involuntarily, but as if on instinct, you raise your head—Lohen is quick to act—squishing your face in the palm of his gloved hand, to keep you looking at him. 

Shame fills your senses, being treated like this in public by Lohen where everyone could see you, is beyond humiliating. Also, you’d never admit it, especially to him, but you missed him the most and out of all the times the feeling could’ve hit you, it had to resurface in a moment like this.

Fed up with him, you gesture for Lohen to let you go which only makes his grip tighten. “A little birdy told me.” He whispers sweetly, although the mockery his words are laced in doesn’t go unnoticed by you either, before finally letting your face go.

In response to his words you furrow your eyebrows together in irritation. “Kaeya.” You bite the inside of your cheek, as you recall your conversation with the cavalry captain from yesterday. 

Even if he’s pretending that he hasn’t heard you he doesn’t make it noticeable, instead he just gives you a tight lipped smile. At this rate you weren't sure if you’d be able to be around him any longer without  wiping that shit-eating grin off his face. 

Alas, you forgot how draining it is to talk to Lohen when he behaved like this—all innocent and oblivious, even though he’s always first to discover what's being hidden behind the curtain. 

It didn’t take long for you to grow restless. To make matters worse, you didn’t know how to remove yourself from the situation without Lohen leaving a dumb comment that'd go along the lines of you being afraid to talk to him.

“Lohen.” You call out his name, a cold sweat running down your nape. The reaction his mere presence has on you is akin to a blizzard that rages inside your entire body, causing it to shudder. “I think I left my stove on.” A measly excuse, you were aware and from the way his ruby eyes cast a glance at you in disbelieving curiosity, he knows you are lying.“I’d better go home to check. Excuse me.” Your lips press into a fine line as you nod your head politely at him and attempt to leave.

It happens so fast, you realize way too late that he’s seized your arm. “Lohen, let me go.” You warn him through gritted teeth. His gloved hands do a poor job at shielding your skin from him pressing his thumb further and deeper into your wrist.”Please.” You wince desperately. 

“Now, now, don’t be like that.” It’s immediate—the moment his eyes light up as you plead him and his smile widens, showing off his white pearls. 

More people start to gather around the two of you, standing still for a few moments before walking away as Lohen shoots them a look that screams no go away. Freshly returned Vice Captain of the fifth company Lohen causing a scene in broad daylight and quite literally holding you captive. 

Before his hands can slither any further, you firmly push him away. Lohen doesn’t even look surprised—amused would be befitting, as if he already knew that you’d do something like this. “Lass mich in Ruhe!” You snap and turn away from him. Deciding you’ve finally had enough you storm away.

“Leave me alone!”

It doesn’t take long for you to look back—pathetic, you know—would it be wrong of you to say that you were disappointed that Lohen didn’t run after you? All he did was brush over his coat to make himself look more presentable after what had happened just now. Not once did he look at you when you were walking away, you’d know, because your eyes were practically glued to him.

Whenever the two of you had your little play fights, you’d squeal and laugh while he’d insist on hugging you until you had to beg him to release you or else he’d squish you in his embrace. 

Well, you know the answer to your question yourself—you’re no longer together—you were the one who broke up with him. Taking that into account—you being the one who ended everything, you had no right to feel this way.

Just as you wanted to tear your head away from him, you see a young girl approaching him from your peripheral vision. In her right hand, pressed in between her index finger and thumb is an envelope, while in her left hand she holds a glowing red Windwheel Aster. That sheepish smile adorning her lips and her rosy tinted cheeks make you swallow thickly. Standing a few meters away from her are her friends giggling to one another and exchanging knowing glances as she chats up Lohen. 

For your own sake you turn away quickly before he reacts. An all too familiar feeling rises up in your chest—a puddle of disgust and jealousy—something ugly and one which you got rid of a long time ago—at least you thought so.

— 

Sure, you might not have had high hopes for the date, but you didn’t expect to be forgotten, like an important piece of advice that gets disregarded without a second thought. The clock keeps ticking in the background, as if mocking you that your date hasn’t come to pick you even though he promised to be on time.

Half an hour ago, you told yourself that you’d wait thirty minutes more, and maybe you should. After all he might’ve had difficulties finding your home and got lost on the way and has to ask for directions now. Maybe he stepped into a puddle and got his clothes all dirty, meaning he had to go back home to change. What if he was just too nervous and in reality he’s been standing in front of your door the whole time, trying to muster up the courage to ring the door be–.

The two-toned chime of your door bell jolts you out of your thoughts. He’s finally here, you think to yourself happily, as you walk up to the door and open it, inviting him in.

“Lohen?!” You yell in bewilderment, eyes widening in shock, as he stands in front of you with his hands neatly put behind his back. It wasn’t unusual for Lohen’s work clothes to be stained with all kinds of different substances. Be that mud, ash or even blood. Still there was something off. “Fancy seeing you here.” Lohen declares with that scheming smile on his face.

Hearing his words, you scrunch up your eyebrows. “I live here.” As soon as the words leave your mouth you regret them, because they sound more like a question rather than a statement. “I know.” He simply shrugs before barging into your house. 

“Hübsch siehst du heute aus.” Lohen says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, while you’re left speechless. He does it so effortlessly, as if he hasn’t just walked into your home; he came back into your life, and turned it upside down. “Wegen des Treffens oder warum?” He smiles slyly before shrugging off his coat and hanging it up on your hook.

“You look pretty today.” / “Because of the date or why?”

It’s only then that you notice the vermillion color staining his jacket and seeping into the dark fabric. The fluid runs smoothly down the piece of clothing, practically becoming one with the coat, and that’s when the gears in your head start turning.

“Lohen.” You say his name with a shaky breath. “Was hast du getan?” Your jaw tightens in anger and your clenched fists grab the material of his vest, pulling him closer for inspection. In hopes of finding any trace of regret or mercy, your eyes flicker over his face. His pale skin was dusted in brown ashy colors and without thinking twice you brush your fingers over his cheek to rub the dirt away.

“What did you do?”

Noticing what you did, you immediately try to pull away, but Lohen stops you. He moves your hands, the one you just pulled away and the one whose grip started to loosen on his vest, around his neck, pressing them into the flesh of his throat. You tried to pull away, but that only urged him to squeeze your hands tighter around his neck. 

“Suffered from external pressure to the neck which restricted the blood circulation.” Lohen expresses in choked out laughs. “Led to a deprivation of oxygen and the victim passing out.” He continues with an eerie smile on his face. It almost seemed like he wanted this. “And not to forget, suffered from long-term trauma and throat damage.” He took control over your hands and pressed them further into his neck. “Ich meine mich dunkel an sowas zu erinnern, du auch?”

“That rings a bell for me, for you too?”

Taken aback you try to pull your hands away from his neck, but he doesn't let you. Instead he tightens his grip that he has around your hands. “I’m having a good time. Why stop?” He chuckles dryly. However to your surprise he finally frees your hands from his hold and you fall back, stumbling behind in shock. 

Seeing that you’re in no position to talk, Lohen seizes the opportunity. “This is unlike you.” He takes a step forward and you can’t help but stare at him. You don’t move, you don’t shudder, you don’t flinch—nothing, all you can do is watch what he does next.

“Seriously, am I not just returning the favor?” He smirks and puts his gloved index- and middle finger beneath your chin to lift it up.”Did you seriously think that moving away, and starting a new life, would make you forget that you murdered someone?” He tilts his head to the side, the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

“I didn’t kill her!” Shivers run down your spine as you defend yourself frantically and Lohen lets go of your chin. “She was still alive, I made sure of it.” You whine. “Barely.” Lohen chuckles, seemingly amused by your panicked state. You can feel the way your heart rapidly beats in your chest, picking up at a faster pace every second. “I just wanted her to stay away from you.” You finally admit quietly.

Upon hearing your words, Lohen’s eyes start to glint with mischief, as if this was everything he ever wanted to hear from you, and maybe it was. “There she is.” He sighs in a relieved dramatic manner. “That’s my girl.” Your arm that rests stiffly at your side—Lohen takes it into his hand and brings your wrist to his lips. He then kisses the inside of your wrist slowly and deliberately while looking at you through half lidded eyes, as if to observe your reaction. 

Would you melt into him? Would you push him away?

After he lets go of your wrist he places your arm over his shoulder to get better access to you, closing the gap between the two of you. From this vicinity you could practically feel Lohen's warm breath fanning against your face. “You know, no one would have suspected you.” He mutters in a tone that could only be described as faux pity. 

“No one would ever get the idea that either you or me would kill mere civilians.” He whispers before kissing up your forearm until his lips eventually find the skin of your neck. You can feel the way he’s already latching his lips at your skin, nibbling on the part he wants to sink his teeth into. 

However you stop him by grabbing a fist of his hair, forcing him to look up at you. “That means you didn’t kill him?” You ask hesitantly. “Who?” He raises his eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed by your question. Only when you shoot him a knowing look does he sigh in exasperation. “Oh, him.” He eventually says. ”Yeah, of course not. Just taught him a lesson.” You wonder how Lohen is always able to act collected, even in situations like these. “He’s not in life threatening danger or anything.”

You’ve got the answer you wanted. Admittedly, you’d be lying if you said that Lohen’s actions didn’t stir something inside of you. The greed to keep him all to yourself came back—it never left, but now that you’re back with him—how are you supposed to live without him? He’s the only one who makes you feel like this—the only to give you this high. 

“I’m glad then.” You let out a breath you’ve been holding for a while and press your lips against the crown of his head. “Why are you thinking of someone else when I’m here?” Lohen jokes, but you feel the tinge of honesty in his words. “Niemals.” You reassure him by pressing a kiss onto his head, before giving him access to your skin again.

“Never.”

He continues on what he’s left off. With precision he latches his lips onto your skin and suckles on the spot, waiting for it to bloom in a pinkish color. “Did you think two years would wash away your actions?” He looks at the mark in satisfaction and licks over it, before moving his lips upwards to your jaw. “Don't forget, you're mine.” Subconsciously you start moving your arms around his neck, your hands now resting on his nape. “I’m yours.” He declares, before pressing a chaste kiss to your jaw.

“We share our sins.”