#feelssssss

Title: Order of Damnation Rating: E Warnings: Major Character Death, Graphic Depictions of Violence Pairing: Victuuri Chapters: 17/? Summary: “People shouldn’t be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.”

Life had never felt so stifled. Fear and anger resided in everyone, though no one had the power to stand up for themselves. Corruption was everywhere. In this city, so pleasant from the outside, but so twisted from within, no one is safe. There’s no happy endings here. When those who run this world are the ones twisting the knife in your back, what can you do? This is a world of pain, of torment, but there’s a group in the shadows, determined to put an end to this hell. In a world of kill or be killed, these assassins will take back this city, but what are they supposed to do when one of their own falls for the detective in charge of taking them down?

There were so many possibilities. So many ways Yuuri’s life could’ve gone. If he’d never been found by that man on his first day in the city, Phichit might still be there, and maybe he’d never have met Viktor. Then again, he couldn’t imagine not running into him at some point. The city was big, but not that big. Besides, Yuuri liked to think they’d probably have met in the part, both of them wanting to treat their poodles, and bumping into each other. Viktor’s eyes would sparkle in the sunshine. Yuuri would feel bold and brush the silver hair from them to get a closer look. Viktor’s smile would steal his heart, and they’d live happily ever after.

No death. No sadness. No moral dilemmas.

Opening his bag and pulling the gun out from the clothes he’d wrapped it in, Yuuri stared at it, chewing his lip nervously. The morning sun was almost here. Yuuri knew he’d have to do this now, that he’d put it off for too long. Viktor Nikiforov had to die. He still didn’t understand why, but orders were orders, and Yuuri knew that if he didn’t do it, then it would be so much worse. Seung-gil wouldn’t let Chris, that much was clear. Guang Hong’s knives would be such a painful death. So would Sara’s poisons. Leo never went for headshots. He liked to make his victims suffer. Something about them feeling the pain they’ve brought on others. Seung-gil himself was the last option, and Yuuri didn’t know what he’d do. No, it had to be him. Yuuri could only trust himself to do this right.

He’d pulled out his own pair of sweatpants from the bag, slipping them on along with a shirt, his whole body feeling heavy. He knew what he had to do, but he didn’t want to. He just wanted to go back to bed, to fall asleep in Viktor’s arms and pretend everything was fine. But life was cruel, and Yuuri was quickly learning he wasn’t allowed to have good things. A night of love making, a night telling Viktor how beautiful he was, letting him know that Yuuri cared so much for him. He hoped Viktor knew. He hoped it was clear that this wasn’t what he wanted to do, but what he had to.

Yuuri stayed quiet as he slowly made his way back into the bedroom, seeing Viktor getting dressed, watching the muscles in his back as he moved. He was beautiful, and perfect, and his. Yuuri swallowed the lump in his throat, tears in his eyes as he pulled back the slide, cocking the gun and aiming for the back of Viktor’s head. As Viktor slowly turned to face him, Yuuri’s hand shook. There was little point in denying who he was now, not that it mattered. In a matter of moments, Viktor would be no more, and the truth would be meaningless. But Yuuri would know he wasn’t just some assassins helping to protect the city. The moment he pulled that trigger, he’d be a monster, just as bad as those he was trying to stop.

A silence fell between them. What were you supposed to do in these moments? Yuuri had killed before, but it wasn’t someone who meant the world to him. It was just a stranger. Viktor didn’t move, blue eyes staring into him, like he was looking right into Yuuri’s soul, “I’m your next target?”