Haunting.
I really, really, REALLY hate my dreams sometimes. I don't even like using the word hate, but these kind of dreams definitely seem to deserve it. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't feel so much in my dreams, if they didn't feel so realistic. To feel so much, only to wake up to have it hit you in the gut that it wasn't real, and that is a pain unlike any other. To wake up and instantly cry, you still feel the memory of the dream on your skin, making you miss it so much that it hurts. I can feel perfectly fine, trying not to focus or dwell on sad things, but in my dreams, I have no control.
This ache in my heart is almost more than I can stand, I know I've been getting stronger, but I don't think it will ever go away. It's so frustrating, I can do everything in my power to distract myself and focus on positive things, but am haunted in my dreams. I also hate that it affects me the rest of the day, because now I feel all raw and emotional. I wish my mind would stop tormenting me with memories of what I can't have. Now I basically have to reset my thoughts, try to distract myself, try not to think about it...
