#feelingworthy

When I was a little girl, other people’s opinion on me did not matter to me at all. None. But I turned 15 years-old, everybody’s opinion mattered so much that I would try to do everything to make that person like me. I felt insecure, and very unworthy. I felt like I was completely stupid. I couldn’t fit in with the other kids well. I looked at them and wished I was like them. Beautiful face, hair and body shape. Nice clothes and shoes. The new latest phones. I wanted all of that. I wanted to be pretty like them. I wanted so many things that I couldn’t afford neither could my parents.

I felt stupid when I’m in class. I have such a big dream (I want to be a space scientist), but there was always this voice in my head repeating the same words and sentence everyday, every hour.

“You’re not worthy, Iris.”

“You’re not good enough.”

“You’re stupid.”

“You’re not smart enough”

“You’ll never fit in.”

“Your dream is too big. You’ll never make it.”

“You need to starve yourself so you could look pretty like those girls.”

There are so many more spinning my head all the time, scaring me, making me afraid of making decisions. I was pressured by my parents, especially my mom who has high expectations from me. In class I would be the quiet one, the one that the teacher would get very tired of. I would cry when I felt like I had no way out of the whirlpool of emotion that was holding me and spinning me.

But I need you to stop all the negative thoughts about yourself. Please take out a piece of paper and write down the good things about yourself.

At least have one thing on the paper. It could be anything like: you’re a good friend. You’re great at cooking. You’re great at writing fictions, or drawing pictures, playing music instruments or very committed to something. That has to be something good about you. Find it. Write it. Stick it to or on something you see everyday. A refrigerator is a good place.

Feeling worthy of yourself is extremely important in life. Do you know why?

Answer: Because there’s going to be people who would judge you without getting to know you. They would judge your body shape, clothes, financial status, school grades or job, They would even judge the apartment, room, house, mansion you live in. They would even judge the friends and family you have. They would judge the phone you’re using either it is an I-phone, Samsung, Nokia, HTC, ASUS and so many more. People will judge. But you can’t let your opinion affect you. You just can’t. You’re unique the way you are because there is no other you. There’s just you, only you in the whole universe. I don’t care about how rich your family is or how poor. I don’t care what designer’s clothes you wear or hand-me-down clothes. I don’t care where you’re from or your skin color. Who do they think they are to judge you? You’re job is to prove them wrong by being brave and successful. Live your dreams.

Do you know the story about the turtle and the rabbit? If you don’t go to here:http://www.moralstories.org/the-rabbit-and-the-turtle/

If you do; Think yourself as the turtle. The turtle maybe slow and ugly, but so what? The turtle won because it never stopped walking, taking steps by steps. The people who judge you are like the rabbit. Prove them wrong. I believe in you. No one believes in you? Well, don’t forget me! I believe in you. You have you and me. You’re gonna be the winner someday and imagine how proud the good people would be when you tell them all the hard times you went through. Be proud of the body you have. You’re fat? If a guy was running toward you to attack you; you could always use your body to bump that guy outta this world. Love yourself. Find that beauty that you buried. Dig it back up. You need it.